(no subject)
A couple of weeks ago, I had a meltdown. The night before I'd been awake until 2am finishing a GROUP assignment for TAFE and when I rocked up at TAFE the next day 15 minutes late to class because they discontinued the bus route I usually get, I was beyond exhausted.
Then my brain shut down, my body shut down. I skipped my second class and went to towers. The bus trip was a blur. It was like time stopped or was going really fast.
This experience made me angry. I told myself that I wouldn't accept the way I was feeling. The familiar drop in my stomach, the ice cold chill running through my body, the absolute dread that came with having no idea why this is happening to you.
That night, I made the decision to quit tafe, find a full-time job and move out.
Two nights later, I made the decision to keep going with tafe, find a part time job and stay at home.
Do I want to be an Event Manager? Nope. Do I like tafe? Nope. Do I like getting up at 5am to catch 4 buses each day? Nope.
Do I want to be a writer? Yep. Do I wish I liked tafe? Yep. Am I covered in bruises from getting stuck in the bus door last week? Yep.
Am I failing tafe? Nope. So far have I got distinctions? Yep.
Fanfuckingtastic, again my life makes no freakin sense...