Jason
I am writing this because I know you will never see it. I don't know if you've guessed this or not, but I like to be the last person you talk to before you fall asleep. I like to know you will be safe and warm and happy asleep. When you were out at the bars I developed a twich, knowing you may be out doing the stupid shit you love to do. And god love you for it. What I have failed to realize is I was part of the stupid shit you oh so love to do. My feelings are undeniable. When I would lie with you, your arms wraped around me breathing slowly on the nape of my neck I felt a safety and warmth unparreled to anything I have felt. Nothing about you makes scene to me Jason. And nothing I say to you even gets through half the time. We are total opposites in most ways, and although we bicker endlessly we meet at some rare instances. As I got on the plane to California I could not stop crying my eyes out. I could not stop picturing the faces of those I left behind. I knew that there would be a day when I would fail to remember the subtle details of all of you. And I wanted so badly to remember, to remember the feeling of your skin against mine. My life is forever changed. I cannot go back to the person I was, the person my family and friends want so badly. I left my heart in Grant Part and Wrigley Field. Happiness will not come for me until I am home. And I am not in love with you, but I do love you.