DVD COMMENTARY: Gift
Title: Gift DVD COMMENTARY
Characters/Pairing: Mal and River, mention of Kaylee
Word Count: 715
Rating: PG
Summary: It's the first Christmas without Kaylee - and the first one with River.
Notes: Written for soscaredtolove's Christmas present - set in Boxverse, an AU in which Kaylee died in the episode "Serenity", and Mal shot and killed Simon before finding River in the box. That basically explains Boxverse - I don't even remember how it came about, just one of those verses that just appeared. Kaylee died. Mal shot Simon. Jayne went and tortured and killed Dobson. They found River in the box, and kept her on the ship, since... they can't really do anything else, and Mal feels a little responsible. River takes Kaylee's place as the mechanic, because she can sort of... hear Kaylee, in the engine room, telling her what to do... and there's a lot of River/Mal-ness that hasn't yet become more than subtext. You can find the original RP here (on my personal journal, friends-locked), which we never actually finished, but it's the official beginning of Boxverse.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or any of its characters. Definitely not Joss Whedon. Though I would kill to be able to work for that man. Seriously.
A year ago, Kaylee was walking around the ship humming to herself and hanging up little streamers of red and green - Mal never could figure out where she got them, and while he didn't quite approve of such holidays, it made her happy so he couldn't bring himself to say no. A little annoying, yes, all the Christmas spirit, but now, the first year they were all without it since they'd taken Kaylee onto the ship, there was not a trace of red and green decorations anywhere on Serenity, no Kaylee bouncing along the catwalk humming carols to herself while she found places for mistletoe and who knew what else. I love thinking of what carols they'd have five hundred years from now. I'm sure some stuck around, but there's got to be stuff that's just a mix of all different cultures and OH GOD PRETTY. ...For someone who is completely inept with writing music, playing it, or singing, I have such a love affair with music.
Mal ran his hand over the railing of the catwalk, staring silently down into the cargo bay. A year ago, this place would be covered all over with Christmasy colors. My spell check does not like the word "Christmasy." I rather do. I just can't figure how to spell it. Two S's? One S and a hyphen? I just don't know. A little less than a year ago, Kaylee'd been shot down there in the cargo bay, and he could remember exactly the shocked look on her face when it happened - sweet little girl like her, she'd never been even shot at before, let alone shot. A little less than a year ago, Kaylee'd died in the infirmary, he'd shot the two responsible for taking his mei-mei... Huh. I apparently wrote this before we figured out Jayne had taken care of Dobson... Oops. Move along, no continuity errors here. and they'd picked up River. To this day, much as he was fond of River, Mal couldn't consider the trade a fair one.
"Wasn't a trade," River said softly from behind him, and he jumped and spun around automatically - no matter how often she did that, Mal never could get used to how silently she moved around, whether it was in combat boots or not. Mal in this verse tends to be at once both more secure around River, and a little more wary around her. He accepted her onto the crew much more readily than he did in the actual series, but at the same time... he never really got the full story on what happened to her, why the Alliance is after her (and was after her brother), and that makes him nervous. And River in this verse is also both... more stable and more fragmented. She's got a grounding in the crew and the ship and having something to do on the ship, but there's no Simon, and there's no treatment for the crazy... so yes.
Today she was barefoot, in a pale green dress that ended just above her knees, I have a feeling that she got a few of Kaylee's old clothes to start out with, and then Inara did a little shopping trip the first chance she had planetside, and got her proper clothes of her own. And River likes flowy things, and so does Inara, so it works out. I don't know why I put her in green - if it were darker green, I'd say it's the Christmas theme, but... it's way more of a spring color in my head. It's just... River. and stood looking up at Mal with a look somewhat less crazy than usual. Not that Mal ever really thought of her as crazy. Odd, certainly, but crazy was a word you saved for people who oughta be locked up, people who were dangerous to themselves or other folk. Without a good reason, Mal amended silently, remembering that he himself tended to be dangerous when he means to be.
"What's that?" he asked gently.
"It wasn't a trade," she repeated slowly, as if she thought him rather stupid for not getting it the first time. She twirled in a circle on the catwalk, standing on her tiptoes, her eyes on her skirt as it flared out a little with the motion. I forgot that little moment, but I adore it. She's just such a little girl there, and so delicate-looking in my mind, like a flower or something. "I wasn't a trade."
"I know," Mal sighed, not quite sure how to respond other than that. Sometimes there just wasn't anything to say in response to the things River told him. But then, a lot of how River and Mal talk isn't in words anyway. ...Which is a pain for me, much as I love dialogue, but I can deal.
"It was a gift," she said, stopping suddenly in her twirling, falling back onto her heels and landing so she faced Mal directly. I love the suddenness of that, just the way she stops and turns to face him... I don't know if it's because she just realized it herself, or for another reason - a lot of the time when I'm writing River or characters like her (like, say, Kara), I don't know why she does the things she does, I just... see it. It's rather odd.
Mal didn't know what to say for a moment, and at last asked simply, "What?"
"Wrapped up in a box and everything. And you opened it."
"River, it weren't even Christmastime when you got on the boat." I love that line. I don't know. It's a combination of the voice, and the way he says it like he thinks it has ANY effect on whether or not she's right...
River stepped around him smoothly, placing her bare foot carefully on the metal grid of the catwalk, And ow, that has to hurt, I don't know how River DOES it... so close to Mal as she passed by him that he could feel the cloth of her dress brushing against his legs, not close enough that she actually touched him. Okay, THAT makes me shiver. When my own writing makes me shiver, I know I've done good. She smiled at him over her shoulder as she did, and said in what could be a patronizing tone, maybe, "The old calendars don't apply. Solar cycles don't happen in the black."
"And that may well be, but-"
She turned away from him once more and kept on walking, he wasn't sure where to. Inara's shuttle, maybe, or perhaps to sit up on the bridge with Wash, but her voice drifted back to him as she walked off, "There was a gift, Captain. And you took it." There was a pause, as she passed out of the cargo bay, into the hallway, and then she spoke two more words softly enough that he wasn't sure he really heard them at all. "Merry Christmas."
Watching her walk down the hallway, Mal wasn't decide which was worse - that he was thinking that maybe today she was just as odd as usual after all, or that despite the oddness every word had made complete sense to him. I think this is quite possibly my favorite Firefly fic I have ever written. The ending (this last paragraph here) could have been better, but the RIVER in this... I love her. So so much. And I am so very glad Alex requested and therefore inspired this.
Characters/Pairing: Mal and River, mention of Kaylee
Word Count: 715
Rating: PG
Summary: It's the first Christmas without Kaylee - and the first one with River.
Notes: Written for soscaredtolove's Christmas present - set in Boxverse, an AU in which Kaylee died in the episode "Serenity", and Mal shot and killed Simon before finding River in the box. That basically explains Boxverse - I don't even remember how it came about, just one of those verses that just appeared. Kaylee died. Mal shot Simon. Jayne went and tortured and killed Dobson. They found River in the box, and kept her on the ship, since... they can't really do anything else, and Mal feels a little responsible. River takes Kaylee's place as the mechanic, because she can sort of... hear Kaylee, in the engine room, telling her what to do... and there's a lot of River/Mal-ness that hasn't yet become more than subtext. You can find the original RP here (on my personal journal, friends-locked), which we never actually finished, but it's the official beginning of Boxverse.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or any of its characters. Definitely not Joss Whedon. Though I would kill to be able to work for that man. Seriously.
A year ago, Kaylee was walking around the ship humming to herself and hanging up little streamers of red and green - Mal never could figure out where she got them, and while he didn't quite approve of such holidays, it made her happy so he couldn't bring himself to say no. A little annoying, yes, all the Christmas spirit, but now, the first year they were all without it since they'd taken Kaylee onto the ship, there was not a trace of red and green decorations anywhere on Serenity, no Kaylee bouncing along the catwalk humming carols to herself while she found places for mistletoe and who knew what else. I love thinking of what carols they'd have five hundred years from now. I'm sure some stuck around, but there's got to be stuff that's just a mix of all different cultures and OH GOD PRETTY. ...For someone who is completely inept with writing music, playing it, or singing, I have such a love affair with music.
Mal ran his hand over the railing of the catwalk, staring silently down into the cargo bay. A year ago, this place would be covered all over with Christmasy colors. My spell check does not like the word "Christmasy." I rather do. I just can't figure how to spell it. Two S's? One S and a hyphen? I just don't know. A little less than a year ago, Kaylee'd been shot down there in the cargo bay, and he could remember exactly the shocked look on her face when it happened - sweet little girl like her, she'd never been even shot at before, let alone shot. A little less than a year ago, Kaylee'd died in the infirmary, he'd shot the two responsible for taking his mei-mei... Huh. I apparently wrote this before we figured out Jayne had taken care of Dobson... Oops. Move along, no continuity errors here. and they'd picked up River. To this day, much as he was fond of River, Mal couldn't consider the trade a fair one.
"Wasn't a trade," River said softly from behind him, and he jumped and spun around automatically - no matter how often she did that, Mal never could get used to how silently she moved around, whether it was in combat boots or not. Mal in this verse tends to be at once both more secure around River, and a little more wary around her. He accepted her onto the crew much more readily than he did in the actual series, but at the same time... he never really got the full story on what happened to her, why the Alliance is after her (and was after her brother), and that makes him nervous. And River in this verse is also both... more stable and more fragmented. She's got a grounding in the crew and the ship and having something to do on the ship, but there's no Simon, and there's no treatment for the crazy... so yes.
Today she was barefoot, in a pale green dress that ended just above her knees, I have a feeling that she got a few of Kaylee's old clothes to start out with, and then Inara did a little shopping trip the first chance she had planetside, and got her proper clothes of her own. And River likes flowy things, and so does Inara, so it works out. I don't know why I put her in green - if it were darker green, I'd say it's the Christmas theme, but... it's way more of a spring color in my head. It's just... River. and stood looking up at Mal with a look somewhat less crazy than usual. Not that Mal ever really thought of her as crazy. Odd, certainly, but crazy was a word you saved for people who oughta be locked up, people who were dangerous to themselves or other folk. Without a good reason, Mal amended silently, remembering that he himself tended to be dangerous when he means to be.
"What's that?" he asked gently.
"It wasn't a trade," she repeated slowly, as if she thought him rather stupid for not getting it the first time. She twirled in a circle on the catwalk, standing on her tiptoes, her eyes on her skirt as it flared out a little with the motion. I forgot that little moment, but I adore it. She's just such a little girl there, and so delicate-looking in my mind, like a flower or something. "I wasn't a trade."
"I know," Mal sighed, not quite sure how to respond other than that. Sometimes there just wasn't anything to say in response to the things River told him. But then, a lot of how River and Mal talk isn't in words anyway. ...Which is a pain for me, much as I love dialogue, but I can deal.
"It was a gift," she said, stopping suddenly in her twirling, falling back onto her heels and landing so she faced Mal directly. I love the suddenness of that, just the way she stops and turns to face him... I don't know if it's because she just realized it herself, or for another reason - a lot of the time when I'm writing River or characters like her (like, say, Kara), I don't know why she does the things she does, I just... see it. It's rather odd.
Mal didn't know what to say for a moment, and at last asked simply, "What?"
"Wrapped up in a box and everything. And you opened it."
"River, it weren't even Christmastime when you got on the boat." I love that line. I don't know. It's a combination of the voice, and the way he says it like he thinks it has ANY effect on whether or not she's right...
River stepped around him smoothly, placing her bare foot carefully on the metal grid of the catwalk, And ow, that has to hurt, I don't know how River DOES it... so close to Mal as she passed by him that he could feel the cloth of her dress brushing against his legs, not close enough that she actually touched him. Okay, THAT makes me shiver. When my own writing makes me shiver, I know I've done good. She smiled at him over her shoulder as she did, and said in what could be a patronizing tone, maybe, "The old calendars don't apply. Solar cycles don't happen in the black."
"And that may well be, but-"
She turned away from him once more and kept on walking, he wasn't sure where to. Inara's shuttle, maybe, or perhaps to sit up on the bridge with Wash, but her voice drifted back to him as she walked off, "There was a gift, Captain. And you took it." There was a pause, as she passed out of the cargo bay, into the hallway, and then she spoke two more words softly enough that he wasn't sure he really heard them at all. "Merry Christmas."
Watching her walk down the hallway, Mal wasn't decide which was worse - that he was thinking that maybe today she was just as odd as usual after all, or that despite the oddness every word had made complete sense to him. I think this is quite possibly my favorite Firefly fic I have ever written. The ending (this last paragraph here) could have been better, but the RIVER in this... I love her. So so much. And I am so very glad Alex requested and therefore inspired this.