I guess I forgot all but 3 seconds of 15x08?
(LJ: We miss your posts!
Me: Hope you enjoy these unedited half-asleep midnight thoughts, LJ.)
When Chuck accosted Sam at the end of 15x08, it scared me a little? Because I find Chuck dangerous at that moment, because he's not in control. Not out of control (although maybe that too), but widely not in possession of the control he wants to have, or even thinks he has. I don't think he controls (or can control) everything, and I take nothing he says at face value, and I believe in many instances he is half-bluffing about the extent of his involvement in the Winchesters' lives; because he wants to be that all-powerful being but the world he set in motion runs on wild alternations and concurrences of order and chaos, in big ways and small, and all in all he can neither disrupt that order nor command that chaos; but he thinks he can if only because he wants to, damn it-and maybe that's why he finds comfort in that casino, in the ordered chaos and chaotic order that he's wrung from it, the unerring results of the machine, the trembling servitude of that traumatized employee, the repetition, repetition, repetition-and it's the certainty of a child throwing a tantrum, convincing themselves that things might go their way if they hold onto their obstinacy. Chuck is tethered to this world, has invested in it, has made himself a part of it in a way he probably never has before (and likely never will again-at reduced power, is he capable of building another universe?), and maybe this was a mistake? No-God doesn't make mistakes, he makes worlds, and this one is a good one. Was a good one. Free will was once his pet ingredient; now it's gone rotten.
Chuck feels dangerous to me in that moment because-when you feel like you're all-powerful, you can afford a level of indifference, but he's feeling that illusion start to waver. So he's become more aware of his weaknesses and calculated enough to manipulate his strengths and twist the knife in just the right place, and at the same there's an untame edge to him and an undercurrent that's desperate, and dangerously so. (Is he himself now order and chaos and is that one step toward controlling this world or one step toward making himself beholden to it)
I don't know exactly what I'm saying but also I went back to rewatch that last scene and there was like 3 seconds of Chuck in it as opposed hundreds of seconds of conversation with Michael and Adam (which I kind of forgot about) and also the setup for a Purgatory quest (which I very much forgot about) and good grief where has my brain even been. Good thing I reviewed at least some of the ep before the newest ep arrives (tomorrow!!!). Aslkslsdjflksj;dfjas;l
Me: Hope you enjoy these unedited half-asleep midnight thoughts, LJ.)
When Chuck accosted Sam at the end of 15x08, it scared me a little? Because I find Chuck dangerous at that moment, because he's not in control. Not out of control (although maybe that too), but widely not in possession of the control he wants to have, or even thinks he has. I don't think he controls (or can control) everything, and I take nothing he says at face value, and I believe in many instances he is half-bluffing about the extent of his involvement in the Winchesters' lives; because he wants to be that all-powerful being but the world he set in motion runs on wild alternations and concurrences of order and chaos, in big ways and small, and all in all he can neither disrupt that order nor command that chaos; but he thinks he can if only because he wants to, damn it-and maybe that's why he finds comfort in that casino, in the ordered chaos and chaotic order that he's wrung from it, the unerring results of the machine, the trembling servitude of that traumatized employee, the repetition, repetition, repetition-and it's the certainty of a child throwing a tantrum, convincing themselves that things might go their way if they hold onto their obstinacy. Chuck is tethered to this world, has invested in it, has made himself a part of it in a way he probably never has before (and likely never will again-at reduced power, is he capable of building another universe?), and maybe this was a mistake? No-God doesn't make mistakes, he makes worlds, and this one is a good one. Was a good one. Free will was once his pet ingredient; now it's gone rotten.
Chuck feels dangerous to me in that moment because-when you feel like you're all-powerful, you can afford a level of indifference, but he's feeling that illusion start to waver. So he's become more aware of his weaknesses and calculated enough to manipulate his strengths and twist the knife in just the right place, and at the same there's an untame edge to him and an undercurrent that's desperate, and dangerously so. (Is he himself now order and chaos and is that one step toward controlling this world or one step toward making himself beholden to it)
I don't know exactly what I'm saying but also I went back to rewatch that last scene and there was like 3 seconds of Chuck in it as opposed hundreds of seconds of conversation with Michael and Adam (which I kind of forgot about) and also the setup for a Purgatory quest (which I very much forgot about) and good grief where has my brain even been. Good thing I reviewed at least some of the ep before the newest ep arrives (tomorrow!!!). Aslkslsdjflksj;dfjas;l