don't you love numbered days???
"one womb, one shape, one resolve, liberate this will, to release us all"
- a pefect circle
i ask you this because, i realize right now that, say this entry was a month earlier, i would be starting out by saying, "goddamn i'm in such an unfathomable amount of good mood"
but, becuase i have to work tommorow, i'm bored, i leave saturday morning for that college place, and i helped move my dear friend amy into shawnee yesterday i'm in such a reflective, reminicent, and down mood. but i realize...any other time than right now i'd be in a good mood. does that make since?
i have another question. this one is for livejournal. mr. finandler livejournal, have you missed real entries? i used to rely on you for posts that could satisfy my expressions like i wouldn't, and couldn't, on xanga. plus i feel like i don't have to keep an entry under a certain amount of words so more people will read it. here, if you don't read it i don't fucking care, but i find i can be more personable and revelaing here. so read it all and i shall love you. ;) no obligations, really, i'm only playing
maybe that's what's wrong. i don't have your mode of expression to indulge myself??? well, i did make one of those posts on here a few posts back, but it was tunnel-visioned to that one thing. that one thing stil makes me sad, and i still regret. but i have a feeling that even though we're at college i'll still talk to them just as much--hell, if not more. goddamn do i miss her. already, it's only been a day.
as much grief as all this brings, it brings unadultered joy too. my reasoning: i have these amazing friends--and the word friend doesn't do them justice--to miss and love and have my heart grow fonder of in the absence. so i'm grateful for that. but not dead. oh, pefect pun? maybe not...
i've found the best way to fully discover an album and love it, is to miss the hype of it...wait til it dies down, and the only people left liking the album are the true fans. at this point you can listen to it with an unbiased, uninfluenced opinion. i've realized this by noticing that every single one of my all-time favorite albums i either discovered myself or discovered a long time after the hype. it's nice, it's undescribable.
something happened last night. i realized i knew what love meant, and what it really is. this revelation has given much relief, and i feel more confident about my future. and maybe a future with someone???
as much perfect circle and phish i've been listening to lately, i've been listening to three times as much cool jazz. i hope maybe at berea i can find a few people who share a pure love and respect for cool jazz and maybe something could come of it.
because God knows i'm not going to be anything part of a rock group for a long time. it wouldn't be right, and it wouldn't be the same. i need time for growth in other realms. jazz, blues, folk...
i think i'm only going to take my acoustic to berea, at least at first. mainly because i'm not sure if i'll have the room or the time or ability to play an electric guitar worth anything above an acoustic. but also because i need to devote myself back to the acoustic.
after the band breaking up, i'm taking it as a sign that i need to find myself in music. after milestone in my life that was jamming with izak for an hour and half. i found the most joy and connection to music i've ever felt. so the electric, and that whole rock band thing goes on hold. as i said, i need to find myself in music...again. and i need to find it while searching with my acoustic. this christmas i'm going to get a martin acoustic, i believe. that is what i need. an acoustic that i can grow old with, an acoustic that i can become a part of.
i hold music above so much, and my love for it is only surmounted by one person. so take that as you will.
i need to get moving. i need to get shit before i leave this weekend, and need to shower. i'm going to qualls' tonight, one of the last few times...
my list: music, my complacency at times like these, you guys...
i love you all.
so, in case i don't see ya', good afternoon, good evening, and good night
- a pefect circle
i ask you this because, i realize right now that, say this entry was a month earlier, i would be starting out by saying, "goddamn i'm in such an unfathomable amount of good mood"
but, becuase i have to work tommorow, i'm bored, i leave saturday morning for that college place, and i helped move my dear friend amy into shawnee yesterday i'm in such a reflective, reminicent, and down mood. but i realize...any other time than right now i'd be in a good mood. does that make since?
i have another question. this one is for livejournal. mr. finandler livejournal, have you missed real entries? i used to rely on you for posts that could satisfy my expressions like i wouldn't, and couldn't, on xanga. plus i feel like i don't have to keep an entry under a certain amount of words so more people will read it. here, if you don't read it i don't fucking care, but i find i can be more personable and revelaing here. so read it all and i shall love you. ;) no obligations, really, i'm only playing
maybe that's what's wrong. i don't have your mode of expression to indulge myself??? well, i did make one of those posts on here a few posts back, but it was tunnel-visioned to that one thing. that one thing stil makes me sad, and i still regret. but i have a feeling that even though we're at college i'll still talk to them just as much--hell, if not more. goddamn do i miss her. already, it's only been a day.
as much grief as all this brings, it brings unadultered joy too. my reasoning: i have these amazing friends--and the word friend doesn't do them justice--to miss and love and have my heart grow fonder of in the absence. so i'm grateful for that. but not dead. oh, pefect pun? maybe not...
i've found the best way to fully discover an album and love it, is to miss the hype of it...wait til it dies down, and the only people left liking the album are the true fans. at this point you can listen to it with an unbiased, uninfluenced opinion. i've realized this by noticing that every single one of my all-time favorite albums i either discovered myself or discovered a long time after the hype. it's nice, it's undescribable.
something happened last night. i realized i knew what love meant, and what it really is. this revelation has given much relief, and i feel more confident about my future. and maybe a future with someone???
as much perfect circle and phish i've been listening to lately, i've been listening to three times as much cool jazz. i hope maybe at berea i can find a few people who share a pure love and respect for cool jazz and maybe something could come of it.
because God knows i'm not going to be anything part of a rock group for a long time. it wouldn't be right, and it wouldn't be the same. i need time for growth in other realms. jazz, blues, folk...
i think i'm only going to take my acoustic to berea, at least at first. mainly because i'm not sure if i'll have the room or the time or ability to play an electric guitar worth anything above an acoustic. but also because i need to devote myself back to the acoustic.
after the band breaking up, i'm taking it as a sign that i need to find myself in music. after milestone in my life that was jamming with izak for an hour and half. i found the most joy and connection to music i've ever felt. so the electric, and that whole rock band thing goes on hold. as i said, i need to find myself in music...again. and i need to find it while searching with my acoustic. this christmas i'm going to get a martin acoustic, i believe. that is what i need. an acoustic that i can grow old with, an acoustic that i can become a part of.
i hold music above so much, and my love for it is only surmounted by one person. so take that as you will.
i need to get moving. i need to get shit before i leave this weekend, and need to shower. i'm going to qualls' tonight, one of the last few times...
my list: music, my complacency at times like these, you guys...
i love you all.
so, in case i don't see ya', good afternoon, good evening, and good night