Never know what your gonna find online
Appearance.
To obtain the perfect emo look you will need the
following:
- Clothing
- Child's T-shirt - Usually containing a nostalgic cartoon program
from the 70s or 80s. Make sure that you are underweight enough so that
you will be able to fit into child's t-shirts. Show your inner despair
by looking like you are too sad to eat. Obesity and emocity do NOT mix.
- Sweater vest - Stolen from father. If said father doesn't wear sweatervests, then steal one from a dad who does wears them.
- Black rimmed glasses - For the 'geek chic' look.
- Converse shoes - don't forget to write the name of your significant other on them.
- Tiny striped shirt - The best place to purchase striped EMO
shirts is at Wal-Mart. Just head into the young boy's section and you
can usually find them for about $5. If you're lucky enough to be
spoiled, you can just head to the local ritzy mall and hit up the GAP
or Banana Republic. Do not admit that you bought those shirts from
there, but you will feel higher on the EMO social scale if you have the
name brand.
- Body Mods
- Tattoos of stars - Notably nautical stars. You also need to get some tattoos of cherries, sparrows, and a guitar.
- You must have at least one or two lip rings. Express your
inner pain by showing that you also have outer pain. Stretch your ear
lobes to an ung
odly gauge like 00 so you can buy the cool plugs with the nautical
stars in them.
- Hair
- Greasy hair - Try avoid showering for 2 or 3 days.
- Dyed black hair - Should be floppy if you are male, teased huge if you are female.
- Transportation
- Emo kids like to drive something called a "Vespa" which is just an
expensive moped with a foreign name. You will not be emo until you buy
one.
- However, if you're not FORTUNATE enough to buy a vespa, EMO
kids usually like to drive Kia's, Hyundai's, or those old school Toyota
Corollas
.
- Accessories
- Like emo guys, emo girls should also wear wristbands,
especially if they're colored all sorts of happy colors. While it might
confuse people as to whether you're a raver, piercing your ears like
2983492 times and wearing babydoll shirts with "Unhappy Chick" written
on them will eliminate confusion.
- If you're an emo girl and you look good, then you're
doing something wrong! Gaining a boatload of weight, or slimming down
to the width of a pencil will help you look like you're just not good
enough to be happy with a significant other.
- You must own 3128912 guitars to give off that "I'm in a band" look. So what if you can't play, you LOOK like you can.
- Carry around a poetry book and whenever you see your emo soulmate, read them the poem that you wrote for them.
Yeah this is funny