What? An update? :O Kevin must be losing his mind due to angst.
If anyone reads this, I know, I'm a jerk. I'm very aware. And I don't like it. If you don't want to be friends any more because of this, I completely understand.
Hmm...well, this is new. I'm actually updating this thing. Huhhh...let's see, the last update was just before I moved. And then now...okay! Not like anyone cares, I've f-locked this thing and the only one that reads is someone I talk to every day, sooo...meh. Okay, almost every day, I didn't talk to her yesterday. Does that count?
Let's see, August...I don't remember much, other than starting school unfortunately. Wow, that was incredibly annoying. Had to line up for literally 3 hours just to get one textbook. And then of course, my classmate just didn't like me 'cause I preferred art over technicality. Ah yes, the prejudice of rednecks...
And then there's October. Not much there either, mostly hung around, played video games, kicked around on Gaia. Etc etc. Halloween, I just sat around and watched movies.
November, last month. I got Ratatouille. Awesome movie, I loved it. Everyone is insane, I can follow that. Especially for my, I'm completely insane, all my thought processes contradict with another thought process either I've already had or will have in the future. Then there's my cynical side and of course my insane humour that no one understands at all. How could they? Hardly anyone likes the same things as myself...
December. I got an early Christmas present! A PS3! Woot~! Of course, I've gotta work extra hard on my homework 'cause I'm so tempted to play it. And I gotta figure out how to get my wireless router to work so I can update the thing. Assassin's Creed keeps freezing on me unfortunately. Oh well...I'll work with it I suppose.
But that isn't what has urged me to post my ranting today. Oh no. See, I only post here when I have something to rant about out of pure boredom and I end up thinking WAY too much about life and getting so overly depressed about it and I eventually back it up with facts that are quite...offensive to most people. Well, I won't have to worry about that too much since this is f-locked and I doubt she's gonna yell at me about it 'cause she knows I'm a stubborn little bugger.
ANYWAY, what I've come to realize lately is that relationships, whether it be dating, spousal, or friendships, are all based on need. Yes indeed. People need to socialize, and so they need friends. Businesses need to make deals with other businesses, hence a partnership may arise. Spouses need to maintain their emotional strength, hence they work to keep their marriages together (...well, that's how it should work anyway. Nowadays they just need to get laid.). And if they cared for their children, they need to make sure their children are secure. Example: my father needs me to fix his stupid computer whenever he screws it up and blames it on my brother and/or his friends (...that card sounds familiar...oh wait, he played it on me, that's right.). My brother needs me for someone to rant to (I know he wants to rant at my mother, but we both know that'll just backfire on us). My baby brother needs me to keep him safe from my middle brother (those two have wicked tempers. 0_o) My mother needs me to try and help keep the both of my brothers in check. And so on and so forth.
This leads me to conclude that friends are expendable. I mean, someone I thought I could start considering a close friend dropped me like a hot potato, like we had never met before. He simply didn't need me any longer. You'd think friendships would run a little deeper. Honestly, it seems people only take the initiative of talking to me if they're bored, lonely, in need of emotional support, or someone to rant to. Either that, or they don't even notice I'm online. Never fails. I mean, how long before the ones I call friends now drop or forget me because they no longer need me? I don't know...heh, I suppose my friend list will drop considerably after this, since I'm so cynical. I'm designed to be a loner. I don't talk to anyone offline purely for the fact of just that, talking. No one wants to listen to a crazed Chinese guy rant and ramble aimlessly for the pure intention of comedy. It's foolish and impractical. Perhaps even childish. Thanks, but I didn't really have much of one. I'm making up for that now. Haha. I mean, no one takes initiative to talk to me unless they need something, whether they're willing to admit it or not. No one these days initiates a chat just for the pure fact of chatting. There's always an underlying agenda that they themselves may not necessarily realize.
Don't get me wrong though. I'll still go out of my way to help those that I call friends. Not so much if they weren't, but I'd still try. And I will certainly still be there for them if they need it. Just a reminder to myself: don't be surprised when you are once again, truly alone.
Hmm...well, this is new. I'm actually updating this thing. Huhhh...let's see, the last update was just before I moved. And then now...okay! Not like anyone cares, I've f-locked this thing and the only one that reads is someone I talk to every day, sooo...meh. Okay, almost every day, I didn't talk to her yesterday. Does that count?
Let's see, August...I don't remember much, other than starting school unfortunately. Wow, that was incredibly annoying. Had to line up for literally 3 hours just to get one textbook. And then of course, my classmate just didn't like me 'cause I preferred art over technicality. Ah yes, the prejudice of rednecks...
And then there's October. Not much there either, mostly hung around, played video games, kicked around on Gaia. Etc etc. Halloween, I just sat around and watched movies.
November, last month. I got Ratatouille. Awesome movie, I loved it. Everyone is insane, I can follow that. Especially for my, I'm completely insane, all my thought processes contradict with another thought process either I've already had or will have in the future. Then there's my cynical side and of course my insane humour that no one understands at all. How could they? Hardly anyone likes the same things as myself...
December. I got an early Christmas present! A PS3! Woot~! Of course, I've gotta work extra hard on my homework 'cause I'm so tempted to play it. And I gotta figure out how to get my wireless router to work so I can update the thing. Assassin's Creed keeps freezing on me unfortunately. Oh well...I'll work with it I suppose.
But that isn't what has urged me to post my ranting today. Oh no. See, I only post here when I have something to rant about out of pure boredom and I end up thinking WAY too much about life and getting so overly depressed about it and I eventually back it up with facts that are quite...offensive to most people. Well, I won't have to worry about that too much since this is f-locked and I doubt she's gonna yell at me about it 'cause she knows I'm a stubborn little bugger.
ANYWAY, what I've come to realize lately is that relationships, whether it be dating, spousal, or friendships, are all based on need. Yes indeed. People need to socialize, and so they need friends. Businesses need to make deals with other businesses, hence a partnership may arise. Spouses need to maintain their emotional strength, hence they work to keep their marriages together (...well, that's how it should work anyway. Nowadays they just need to get laid.). And if they cared for their children, they need to make sure their children are secure. Example: my father needs me to fix his stupid computer whenever he screws it up and blames it on my brother and/or his friends (...that card sounds familiar...oh wait, he played it on me, that's right.). My brother needs me for someone to rant to (I know he wants to rant at my mother, but we both know that'll just backfire on us). My baby brother needs me to keep him safe from my middle brother (those two have wicked tempers. 0_o) My mother needs me to try and help keep the both of my brothers in check. And so on and so forth.
This leads me to conclude that friends are expendable. I mean, someone I thought I could start considering a close friend dropped me like a hot potato, like we had never met before. He simply didn't need me any longer. You'd think friendships would run a little deeper. Honestly, it seems people only take the initiative of talking to me if they're bored, lonely, in need of emotional support, or someone to rant to. Either that, or they don't even notice I'm online. Never fails. I mean, how long before the ones I call friends now drop or forget me because they no longer need me? I don't know...heh, I suppose my friend list will drop considerably after this, since I'm so cynical. I'm designed to be a loner. I don't talk to anyone offline purely for the fact of just that, talking. No one wants to listen to a crazed Chinese guy rant and ramble aimlessly for the pure intention of comedy. It's foolish and impractical. Perhaps even childish. Thanks, but I didn't really have much of one. I'm making up for that now. Haha. I mean, no one takes initiative to talk to me unless they need something, whether they're willing to admit it or not. No one these days initiates a chat just for the pure fact of chatting. There's always an underlying agenda that they themselves may not necessarily realize.
Don't get me wrong though. I'll still go out of my way to help those that I call friends. Not so much if they weren't, but I'd still try. And I will certainly still be there for them if they need it. Just a reminder to myself: don't be surprised when you are once again, truly alone.