(no subject)
I've been really pissed off all day today and I have no idea why. I don't think my meds are working and if I stay like this, I'm going to end up back in the hospital. I know I only got out a week ago today but I'm completely cracking. I came so close to knocking somebody -anybody- in the face today. It definately doesn't help that every single one of my friends lives at least a half an hour away. And even then they have their own lives and I don't wanna bother them with my shit. It's like in the Kevin Devine song "Ballgame" when he says "I realize that my shit's about as small as it could be, but that makes me feel worse for even feeling this bad in the first place." I feel like I don't even have a good enough reason to feel this way. A chemical imbalance isn't a good enough excuse in my mind. Not with all the meds they have out there. The only problem is, like I said, mine don't work. We don't have school tomorrow and I really think I'm going to slip back into my old ways and just sleep all day. I know that won't solve anything but at least then I won't have to deal with life. I also know that if I keep smoking these cancer sticks like I am I'm going to die when I'm 25. Having asthma doesn't help, obviously.
Fuck, why am I even typing this?
$10 says nobody will even read this.
Fuck, why am I even typing this?
$10 says nobody will even read this.