anatomy of the heart
Well....i guess its over. And who would have thought it would be HE who broke up with ME.
*thoroughly depressed*
Yeah so Jon broke up with me last night. We're "really close friends" now ....
The night was really nice. It was the last time I was going to see him before I went to college (you see he is going to Fiji and is not returning until the day AFTER leave for college). We ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant...really good food...and we were serenaded by a man in a sombrero (his name was Fernando). After dinner we passed by the place where we first met (this beautiful park thing I've been going to since I was little...it has a giant hill that I used to go sledding on... it also has the foundation of an old stone house that used to be there...its only like random stairs and walls...uber cool) and in a burst of spontaneousness I suggested we go in. It was dark so we used flashlights...and we went under this old weeping willow and kissed ( I've been wanting to bring a boy under there since I was 10...no joke). Then we went back to my house, sat on my roof, and stared at the stars. It was nice.
Of course the time rolled around when he had to leave (you could tell because his mom kept calling)...and we sat on the stoop in front of my house and discussed what was to become of "us". I suggested we just see how it goes. But no, he went on about how we would just be in a deteriorating relationship and how one of us might meet someone else and leave the other heartbroken (what about now jon? I'm pretty heartbroken). So I asked if we were breaking up...I was met with silence. He said that we would just be close friends.
...
fuck that shit...I'm not ready to be "just friends".
I cried and listened to Smashing Pumpkins songs on my ipod after he left.
Then today came...i cried some more...had to go to a physical (oh humiliation and discomfort really tops it off)...cried a bit more...
then got as over it as I'm going to get... I still get that feeling of loss and a pit in my stomach when I think about him...
grah...now I feel like crying again...no...no we wont do that....ok I'm good.
I knew we had to break up sometime...but I just like him too much...who knows...maybe we'll make good close friends...all I know is that right now I'm feeling rather awful about the whole affair.
*thoroughly depressed*
Yeah so Jon broke up with me last night. We're "really close friends" now ....
The night was really nice. It was the last time I was going to see him before I went to college (you see he is going to Fiji and is not returning until the day AFTER leave for college). We ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant...really good food...and we were serenaded by a man in a sombrero (his name was Fernando). After dinner we passed by the place where we first met (this beautiful park thing I've been going to since I was little...it has a giant hill that I used to go sledding on... it also has the foundation of an old stone house that used to be there...its only like random stairs and walls...uber cool) and in a burst of spontaneousness I suggested we go in. It was dark so we used flashlights...and we went under this old weeping willow and kissed ( I've been wanting to bring a boy under there since I was 10...no joke). Then we went back to my house, sat on my roof, and stared at the stars. It was nice.
Of course the time rolled around when he had to leave (you could tell because his mom kept calling)...and we sat on the stoop in front of my house and discussed what was to become of "us". I suggested we just see how it goes. But no, he went on about how we would just be in a deteriorating relationship and how one of us might meet someone else and leave the other heartbroken (what about now jon? I'm pretty heartbroken). So I asked if we were breaking up...I was met with silence. He said that we would just be close friends.
...
fuck that shit...I'm not ready to be "just friends".
I cried and listened to Smashing Pumpkins songs on my ipod after he left.
Then today came...i cried some more...had to go to a physical (oh humiliation and discomfort really tops it off)...cried a bit more...
then got as over it as I'm going to get... I still get that feeling of loss and a pit in my stomach when I think about him...
grah...now I feel like crying again...no...no we wont do that....ok I'm good.
I knew we had to break up sometime...but I just like him too much...who knows...maybe we'll make good close friends...all I know is that right now I'm feeling rather awful about the whole affair.