Sunday 30 August 1942, just after midnight
The Mulcibers' party was far more fun than I expected. They have enormously wide taste in music. I suppose it makes sense; Dylan takes lessons with us. Hadrian and Endymion could hardly be away from each other for a moment, but Endymion was cursed when they broke the contract, so Hadrian had to look after him. It was very brave of Endymion to go at all.
I saw Celerity and Dolores and let them know what I know about them. And I hope that's it. Dolores is a very sad person, and I pray that she can find the way to being better and happier, but I could only hurt her and myself by trying to help. And as for Celerity, she scares me, I don't understand her at all. Is she unhappy like Dolores? Did she think Endymion would make her happy, and if not, what did she want from him?
Hadrian said something very striking to me at the party. He said that married people are committed to looking after each other first. And he is right, and I shall have to work to understand that Endymion comes first with him now, before Mum, and before me, and before anyone else. And so far it seems that this works both ways between them, which is very surprising after everything last term and whatever it was that happened this summer. But hopefully it is not temporary.
However, it's upsetting me a lot to think about this in the context of my family as a whole. What does marriage mean to us? I don't know how long ago Daddy stopped putting Mum first, but it must have been years ago. Or perhaps ever. And she must really have stopped putting him above all some time ago too. She became involved with Mr Luna so very quickly after she asked Daddy to leave. I have an idea that perhaps we can learn from them and succeed where they failed, I hope Hadrian and Endymion are the start of that, and Susie made the right decision breaking her engagement with Derek because he was not willing to be to her what a good husband and life mate should be. I am determined to achieve nothing less than they have done and will do.
Hadrian doesn't understand why I want to go home tomorrow when Endymion has been so very sick today, but he has forgotten that Mum has no one, really, and nor do I, not like he does and not like Daddy does. And nor does Cassie. And so how can I help but choose them, when there's so little time left before school?
I saw Celerity and Dolores and let them know what I know about them. And I hope that's it. Dolores is a very sad person, and I pray that she can find the way to being better and happier, but I could only hurt her and myself by trying to help. And as for Celerity, she scares me, I don't understand her at all. Is she unhappy like Dolores? Did she think Endymion would make her happy, and if not, what did she want from him?
Hadrian said something very striking to me at the party. He said that married people are committed to looking after each other first. And he is right, and I shall have to work to understand that Endymion comes first with him now, before Mum, and before me, and before anyone else. And so far it seems that this works both ways between them, which is very surprising after everything last term and whatever it was that happened this summer. But hopefully it is not temporary.
However, it's upsetting me a lot to think about this in the context of my family as a whole. What does marriage mean to us? I don't know how long ago Daddy stopped putting Mum first, but it must have been years ago. Or perhaps ever. And she must really have stopped putting him above all some time ago too. She became involved with Mr Luna so very quickly after she asked Daddy to leave. I have an idea that perhaps we can learn from them and succeed where they failed, I hope Hadrian and Endymion are the start of that, and Susie made the right decision breaking her engagement with Derek because he was not willing to be to her what a good husband and life mate should be. I am determined to achieve nothing less than they have done and will do.
Hadrian doesn't understand why I want to go home tomorrow when Endymion has been so very sick today, but he has forgotten that Mum has no one, really, and nor do I, not like he does and not like Daddy does. And nor does Cassie. And so how can I help but choose them, when there's so little time left before school?