The Beginning
Well, this is it. This is the start of my journal. I guess, I picked a pretty good time to start it. My life has a had a whole lot of crap going on with it lately, particularly, my love life. That'd probably be a good place to start. Since, it's been consuming much of everything right now.
A week ago yesterday, my girlfriend, Jenn, and I broke up.. We had a long distance relationship and she was the love of my life and I still believe that. The break up started out pretty bad. I was broken, destroyed. I've been through it before and it didn't hurt as much as that first time, but it still killed me. Things have gradually gotten better over the past week though. We were e-mailign each other and talking. She wanted to talk to me over ICQ this past week and she was on for awhile, but then she got disconnected and didn't come back.
Pain of the heart truly is the worst. A week from yesterday (when she broke up with me), I couldn't sleep. I just kind of tossed and turned all night. My mind was busy being plagued with thoughts and memories. Was everything a lie? No, it couldn't be. I have the tendacy of over worrying about things and in a situation like this, I worry myself into an unhealthy fit. I just can't stop it. . .
Although, this week has had its ups and way low downs, I'm still standing and I'm still standing for one reason. All of my friends. That Sunday night when I fell to the ground because of my break up with Jenn, there was Ash and Linz. The next day when I was just completely out of it... there was Mel, and Cailyn, and Dave. The people who give a damn, who cared, who seemed interested, whostood by my side to hold me up. They're why I'm talking right now.
What's in my future? I don't know. I hope Jenn and I get back together and I'm not giving up on that. I haven't been in contact with her in a couple days. Although, I e-mailed her last night. Hopefully, she'll be able to reply soon. I understand she's busy with college and such though. I don't mind if it takes awhile for her to reply, just as long as she does. If we're communicating, I feel like this can pull it out, but without communicating, without knowing, I worry.
Well now, you've got some insight into what my life is like right now. As this goes on you'll learn more. Maybe things you didn't want to know. Maybe things you do. Anyway... Yeah...
A week ago yesterday, my girlfriend, Jenn, and I broke up.. We had a long distance relationship and she was the love of my life and I still believe that. The break up started out pretty bad. I was broken, destroyed. I've been through it before and it didn't hurt as much as that first time, but it still killed me. Things have gradually gotten better over the past week though. We were e-mailign each other and talking. She wanted to talk to me over ICQ this past week and she was on for awhile, but then she got disconnected and didn't come back.
Pain of the heart truly is the worst. A week from yesterday (when she broke up with me), I couldn't sleep. I just kind of tossed and turned all night. My mind was busy being plagued with thoughts and memories. Was everything a lie? No, it couldn't be. I have the tendacy of over worrying about things and in a situation like this, I worry myself into an unhealthy fit. I just can't stop it. . .
Although, this week has had its ups and way low downs, I'm still standing and I'm still standing for one reason. All of my friends. That Sunday night when I fell to the ground because of my break up with Jenn, there was Ash and Linz. The next day when I was just completely out of it... there was Mel, and Cailyn, and Dave. The people who give a damn, who cared, who seemed interested, whostood by my side to hold me up. They're why I'm talking right now.
What's in my future? I don't know. I hope Jenn and I get back together and I'm not giving up on that. I haven't been in contact with her in a couple days. Although, I e-mailed her last night. Hopefully, she'll be able to reply soon. I understand she's busy with college and such though. I don't mind if it takes awhile for her to reply, just as long as she does. If we're communicating, I feel like this can pull it out, but without communicating, without knowing, I worry.
Well now, you've got some insight into what my life is like right now. As this goes on you'll learn more. Maybe things you didn't want to know. Maybe things you do. Anyway... Yeah...