Don't tell me who i am..whispers of an angry Black white woman

[finabeejamin]

This is some of the poetry I wrote after going to Monica's new house last night and being told by a white man who he thinks i am.

I am still here
trudgeing fast
behind sordid whiteness
ripping
the black beat
bare

"Called White"
Cornered into being misnamed
I spell it out
and get colored again
My voice understands
how to make its tone change,
blink hazard lights
at the claims
setup to take down
bits of me
that are not counted,
unreal, bleached,
fucked and erased away
These human stains,
these broken needles
leave track marks,
not melanin
I whisper my truth - over again
destined to create
impossible conversations
and invisible skins
transluscent
and gleamning,
glass tears create the illusion
of sameness
I cradle myself
hoping to be remembered
as your lost daughter
-me

"mixed race people threaten the core of a racist society"
"i hold a lump in my throat as big as the shame my white skin affords me."
"Words have never been fast friends."
Lani Kaahumanu