A fortnight after double hernia surgery
The worst part about having double hernia surgery wasn't the surgery itself. Nor was it the time leading up to the surgery where I'm literally pushing my guts back in and being very careful to not make it worse so I don't have to go to the ER. Nor was it the pain after the surgery where movement of anything other than my head or arms caused sharp pain in my gut for a week and a half afterwards. Nor was it the itchy stitches on my stomach, the diet of soup and pudding, not having played my pinball machines since November, or not being able to go to the theater to see the new Star Wars movie.
No, the worst part was not having a bowel movement for two full weeks, culminating with sixteen hours yesterday of feeling like I had a cue ball in my ass that Wants To Come Out Right Now but won't budge, instead just expelling some gas and small amounts of liquid and loose solids every hour or two, until finally at nearly 6am this log an inch and a half across and almost six inches long came out.
I still feel like a truck hit me, but on the positive side at least I'm feeling the closest to human that I have in a while. Yesterday was still a shitty day, though (literally; I went through four full rolls of toilet paper), and the Steelers all but playing themselves out of the playoffs sure didn't help any.
Maybe in a few days I can at last check out this Star Wars movie I've heard so much about.
No, the worst part was not having a bowel movement for two full weeks, culminating with sixteen hours yesterday of feeling like I had a cue ball in my ass that Wants To Come Out Right Now but won't budge, instead just expelling some gas and small amounts of liquid and loose solids every hour or two, until finally at nearly 6am this log an inch and a half across and almost six inches long came out.
I still feel like a truck hit me, but on the positive side at least I'm feeling the closest to human that I have in a while. Yesterday was still a shitty day, though (literally; I went through four full rolls of toilet paper), and the Steelers all but playing themselves out of the playoffs sure didn't help any.
Maybe in a few days I can at last check out this Star Wars movie I've heard so much about.