A note on the good stuff posts
I started these lists back in 2001. Right after September 11, life was pretty hard (duh!) and it was difficult for me to keep going. It was hard to stay together and so I started looking for good things that were in my life. For several days the only thing on my list was Bree. She was most definitely the reason I got up in the mornings back then. Thinking more about it, it was easy to add Daddy to the list too and other people like Harry. Soon, I was not just adding people but things to the list like seeing a butterfly or watching a sunset. Despite all the truly awful things that were happening at that time in my life, there was a lot of good things and plenty of beauty around me that bore noticing. Even though I was still very sad, stressed and overwhelmed, having the list helped me have a more positive outlook and get me through some very dark days. Last Sunday, I remarked to Harry that the way I feel these days, emotionally and mentally, is just like I felt in those first few months after 9/11. It occurred to me that I'm spending much of my time putting out all the personal fires in my life and in that of my family and that had really colored my outlook. I'm generally an optimistic person but I haven't been feeling that way as of late. So, I decided to get back in the habit of writing this list down. After I got through the first 3 months after Liam's death, I was able to run down the list mentally and that was enough but in the beginning I needed a list on paper to help change my focus. I'm at that place again but now I'm writing it here instead of longhand. This is not an apology of any sort for the daily posts and I don't really give a rat's ass if people skim over them. If people read them, that's just dandy but no one is obligated because I'm putting them here to remind myself that even when the shit is really hitting the fan and it's splattering everywhere, there's a clear and clean spot somewhere that I need to appreciate.