this is not enough.

[filteredlust]

i want to run away
with her or him
anyone who'll take me in.
go somewhere and be alone.
make the street our dirty home.
i just want to be loved,
do something exciting.
i want to feel my heartbeat,
my blood running through me.
to be beautiful and wild.
live this life like giddy little child.
i want to feel alive.
the wind through my hair.
be touched and held and whispered to.
to lose my fear and be free.
have sex in public,
get drunk and high.
stop eating completly.
find myself beautiful.
make everything easy.
be skin an bones. fell truley thin.
start a band.
i want to fucking play and sing.
do things without worrying about consequences.
not thinking will my boss approve. fuck that.
break all the rules and get away with it.
not have someone tell me no youre wrong.
be on the run. an outlaw.
have a real good friend. always there. always care.
a lover, a real good fucking lover.
more than sex and violence.
more than dirty lust.
more than beauty and truth.
i want love, no more abondenment.
i want crazy love. excrutiating love.
i want pain and bruises. cuts and poisens.
tattoos and memories. piercings and beauty.
i want love. no more fake promises.
something true. something real. something right and wrong.
no more shame, no more imbarrassment.
i want to love myself. love the body i reside in.
i want someone to put me first. to do anything for me.
to pick me over everyone else. to really want to be with me.
i want love. no more abondenment.
i want crazy love, excrutiating love.