Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Rating: **
Review: I sort of knew that I was doomed to hate this movie, but I saw it anyway. I was expecting a repeat of my Alexander agony, but I was surprised to find myself having a different reaction. Instead of feeling mounting panic that I might never escape the movie, I calmly accepted that I was bored and began daydreaming. I briefly recognized the suckiness of spending $7.50 to sit in a dark theater for no reason, but I got over it. Kingdom of Heaven brought out nothing but apathy in me. I didn't care about the characters or what happened to them. I didn't care that the love story hinted at in the trailer was practically non-existent. I just patiently waited for the lights to come back up. Therefore, I will give it two stars for not making me angry.
Review: I sort of knew that I was doomed to hate this movie, but I saw it anyway. I was expecting a repeat of my Alexander agony, but I was surprised to find myself having a different reaction. Instead of feeling mounting panic that I might never escape the movie, I calmly accepted that I was bored and began daydreaming. I briefly recognized the suckiness of spending $7.50 to sit in a dark theater for no reason, but I got over it. Kingdom of Heaven brought out nothing but apathy in me. I didn't care about the characters or what happened to them. I didn't care that the love story hinted at in the trailer was practically non-existent. I just patiently waited for the lights to come back up. Therefore, I will give it two stars for not making me angry.