Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things in Life -- A Zombieland Review.
ZOMBIELAND
(2009)
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin.
Directed by: Ruben Fleischer.
Rated: R (extreme gore, zombie violence, and language).
You know me: I'll watch anything with the ravenous, shambolic undead in it. Promise me some brain-bashing, gun-toting, blood-spewing fun, and I'm all over that like white on rice. Add a liberal dose of snarky characters, pop culture references, and slapstick humor, and OH BOY. I AM A HOG WITH ITS VERY OWN MUD PATCH. :D
So of course I was ecstatic when I first heard about Zombieland several months ago. I had the release date on my calendar as soon as it was announced. And it physically pained me when I couldn't see it opening night. But at least I got to see it before the weekend was out. AND OH, HOW THAT WAIT WAS WORTH IT.
Zombieland is really the coming-of-age story of Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), a 20-something loner who hopes to find his parents in Ohio (hence the nickname Columbus) and maybe a pretty girl he can finally lose his virginity to, too. Columbus is an unusual survivor -- spastic, anal retentive, and suffering from IBS -- but he's made it through the apocalypse with the help of his Rules of Zombieland (Rule #1: Cardio, Rule #2: Double Tap, Rule #5: Fasten Your Seatbelt) and an amazing degree of luck.
The story really picks up when Columbus meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), and a more different partnership couldn't be conceived. Tallahassee is a "zombie killin' machine", crude, rash, and prone to fits of destructive rage. While Columbus continues to hold onto some hope of finding his parents or a zombie-free haven, Tallahassee only cares about taking out as many of the undead as he can, in as many inventive ways as he can. He lives wholly by the credo 'Enjoy the Little Things in Life', and seems fairly content with the status quo.
"My Mama always said, 'Son, someday you'll be good at somethin'.'
'Course, I'm sure she never thought that somethin' would be zombie killin'."
Not long after falling in together, the pair find themselves a foursome with the additions of Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), sisters who have always had a knack for surviving and only trust each other. The girls are manipulative, bold, and know how to handle themselves, and the innocent Columbus can't help but fall for the cutthroat Wichita.
While this movie isn't quite on par with the inspired hilarity, homage, and horror of the British rom-com-zom Shaun of the Dead, it's still an extremely solid movie and one of the best zombie films I've ever seen. It does this old gorehound's heart good to see that mainstream Hollywood is willing to put the money and talent into a zombie flick -- especially considering how cheap it is to make one, and how easy it is to make a profit on one, as Zombieland has already proven, raking in $25 million and coming in #1 at the BO this weekend.
Much of the movie's humor comes from Columbus's voice over narration, the way his rules continually pop up on the screen in large comic book font, a special cameo appearance by a well known face, and Tallahassee's eternal quest for a particular "taste from his childhood". The zombie special effects are superb; rarely have I seen such gooey, disgusting monsters. Many of the kills are incredibly choreographed, inventive lunacy. And the chemistry and repartee between the characters provide much of the movie's energy and emotion -- and don't be surprised if you find yourself emotionally touched before the credits roll.
Because, as with many zombie movies, this is a story about how important it is to hold on to relationships and human companionship. All of the verbal abuse aside, Tallahassee is a strangely compelling and protective big brother/father figure; Columbus is endearing in his neuroses; and when the last zombie has been beaten back into death with a clown hammer, you'll have that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes with seeing a true family find itself.
I've never been a big fan of Woody Harrelson, but he won me completely over in this movie. I always find it funny when people say "this was the role they were MEANT to play" about a particular performance, but I actually think it applies here. Harrelson needs to ALWAYS play misanthropic, ass-kicking southern assholes. And I'm entirely unashamed to admit that I found him incredibly attractive. Was it the cowboy hat and boots? The snakeskin jacket? That southern drawl and sneer? His prowress with guns and SUVs? Or maybe it was the mmmm, arms guh...
Clearly, the way to Angie's heart involves a lot of ammunition and dead-eye aim.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... ...What was I saying?
If you like your horror with a liberal dose of humor... If you're a fan of tongue-in-cheek commentary and snarky voice overs... If you find zombified little girls run over by a soccer mom amusing... Or if you're just in the Halloween mood for a solid zombie film, you can't go wrong with Zombieland.
(And the Zombie Kill of the Week this week goes to Columbus Ohio for his inspired usage of an amusement park ride against a horde of persuing undead. Congratulations, Mr. Columbus! You've earned it!)
On a scale of 1 to 10: Zombieland gets a satisfying 9. (And just check out this trailer for a real taste of how awesome this movie is. :D)
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