(no subject)
lately i have been running off two emotions completely.
the first is an all-consuming hate for keeley. i can't believe she just threw away our friendship like this. or maybe i can't believe i could fool myself into wasting three years of my life caring about her. not only has she spent the last three weeks or so doing her darndest to make our apartment the most uncomfortable place on the earth, she has been presonally attacking me indirectly. every time she tries to have a conversation with me is a reminder that she is completely ignoring my request for an apology. a flashback to her response "i guess i just don't care." an example of her apparent immunity from being an active part of the household. i sooo wish we could just kick her out and bring in julie. but her name is on the lease. she says it will be a matter of months before she's gone. a matter of months? that's like an eternity!! also, i can't believe she's trying to drag ta into this. she's always lying. the other day came the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. she told ta and her mom that i had lost weight by starving myself. whole loads of bullshit. i don't work out as hard as i do just to hear from other people that, even though it's good that i've lost weight, that i shouldn't be doing it that way. what kind of friend is that? first of all, she should be complementing me on my achievement. secondly, if i *were* starving myself, a friend would be concerned, not gossipy. i want to kick myself for not having seen what a self-centered, spoiled, whiny little bitch she is any earlier. i'm glad i have christy as a roommate thanks to her, but other than that, i would be more than happy to cut the "keeley chapter" out of my life story. i cannot believe i couldn't see through her earlier. and it makes me want to shout from the mountaintops "she's a fraud! she's only pretending to listen to you so she can cut you off before you say anything she doesn't want to hear! she cares more about herself than anyone, yet doesn't act with any pride about herself. she will bore you to tears about how wretchedly unfortunate she is, only to bore you to *death* with how hard she supposedly worked to get all she has! she is a fake, a phony, a fraud! run while you still can look at your face in the mirror and not wonder what you were thinking when you put any trust in her whatsoever."
but then i would sound bitter.
lately however, there has been the prospect of happiness on the horizon. NIKI IS GONNA MOVE BACK TO DALLAS!!!! yaaaaay! i miss my puppy so much, and i know that i have been boring everyone within earshot with how much i love her and what a good dog she is and how excited i am to have her coming back to live with me. at first i thought i didn't want the extra responsibility of having a dog in the apartment, but as the prospect of her living with me moves closer to reality, i am so overwhelmed with love for her. in the future, on a day when waking up to walk the dog is a pain in the ass, i will remember this feeling right now, how terribly much i miss her and want her here with me, and realize that a pain in the ass is better than nothing.
in conclusion I LOVE NIKI AND I WANT KEELEY TO BE VERY BADLY ABUSED IN BOOT CAMP!!
thank you, that is all.
the first is an all-consuming hate for keeley. i can't believe she just threw away our friendship like this. or maybe i can't believe i could fool myself into wasting three years of my life caring about her. not only has she spent the last three weeks or so doing her darndest to make our apartment the most uncomfortable place on the earth, she has been presonally attacking me indirectly. every time she tries to have a conversation with me is a reminder that she is completely ignoring my request for an apology. a flashback to her response "i guess i just don't care." an example of her apparent immunity from being an active part of the household. i sooo wish we could just kick her out and bring in julie. but her name is on the lease. she says it will be a matter of months before she's gone. a matter of months? that's like an eternity!! also, i can't believe she's trying to drag ta into this. she's always lying. the other day came the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. she told ta and her mom that i had lost weight by starving myself. whole loads of bullshit. i don't work out as hard as i do just to hear from other people that, even though it's good that i've lost weight, that i shouldn't be doing it that way. what kind of friend is that? first of all, she should be complementing me on my achievement. secondly, if i *were* starving myself, a friend would be concerned, not gossipy. i want to kick myself for not having seen what a self-centered, spoiled, whiny little bitch she is any earlier. i'm glad i have christy as a roommate thanks to her, but other than that, i would be more than happy to cut the "keeley chapter" out of my life story. i cannot believe i couldn't see through her earlier. and it makes me want to shout from the mountaintops "she's a fraud! she's only pretending to listen to you so she can cut you off before you say anything she doesn't want to hear! she cares more about herself than anyone, yet doesn't act with any pride about herself. she will bore you to tears about how wretchedly unfortunate she is, only to bore you to *death* with how hard she supposedly worked to get all she has! she is a fake, a phony, a fraud! run while you still can look at your face in the mirror and not wonder what you were thinking when you put any trust in her whatsoever."
but then i would sound bitter.
lately however, there has been the prospect of happiness on the horizon. NIKI IS GONNA MOVE BACK TO DALLAS!!!! yaaaaay! i miss my puppy so much, and i know that i have been boring everyone within earshot with how much i love her and what a good dog she is and how excited i am to have her coming back to live with me. at first i thought i didn't want the extra responsibility of having a dog in the apartment, but as the prospect of her living with me moves closer to reality, i am so overwhelmed with love for her. in the future, on a day when waking up to walk the dog is a pain in the ass, i will remember this feeling right now, how terribly much i miss her and want her here with me, and realize that a pain in the ass is better than nothing.
in conclusion I LOVE NIKI AND I WANT KEELEY TO BE VERY BADLY ABUSED IN BOOT CAMP!!
thank you, that is all.