captain morgan, meet coca cola.
i've been trying to catch up on everyone's entries and comments and
such, and its much more difficult than i had anticipated. i'm
working on the commenting thing though! anyways, lots to cover,
i'll try to make it brief.
st. louis
wonderful time. he was feeling pretty sick the whole time i was there, so we did lots of t.v. watching and reading. he kept apologizing, but i thought it was absolutely perfect. i have a rough time with his family though. i feel SO guilty saying that. they're all perfectly nice, lovely people. i'm just not used to the teasing, i guess. i've always been overly-sensitive, and my family was always much more serious. i shouldn't take a lot of it as insults, but they somehow kept managing to hit on things that make me very self-conscious to begin with, and then to have my boyfriend's family laughing... it just really did a number on my head. again, i know it was all in jest and i should just chill out. i just worry so much. it was so perfect being with him, i was a wreck as soon as i got through security at the airport.
job:
YAY! but really, i have no idea if i'll get it or not. i'm not exactly sure what "conditional offer" means. if it's "we'll give you a job on the condition that you prove you're not a moron," all bets are off. the stipulations the thing had were all about the background check and polygraph and physical and drug test, etc etc. the fine print talked about the possibility that they would give a baltimore city resident preference, and that the grant money might not go through. ok, fine. so now i'm STILL playing the waiting game, bumming around until i see if i really get it or not. i'm going on the assumption that in august i will have a paycheck, though. i have no idea what i'll be doing as a serologist. none whatsoever. ok yeah i know the basics, but i know NOTHING about it!!!! i'm terrified. but really excited. then grad school in a year, and then i'll have a degree and experience and can get a real job. i should probably stop getting ahead of myself.
beach:
it was nice. we had a little bug issue. i LOVE that place, i'm going to cry like a baby when we get rid of it, but there are some things i won't miss. i would've preferred more beach time, and i could do without my sister changing the radio and not letting me listen to my music, but making me listen to liz freakin phair when I WAS DRIVING IN HOLIDAY BEACH TRAFFIC, but whatever. it's done now. i could also do without fireworks traffic, and almost getting killed, and almost having my brain explode with road rage at all of the stupid, selfish, inconsiderate, ridiculous assholes in the world today. on a lighter note, i played miniature golf. this, at the beach, is not noteworthy. however, i am the WORST miniature golf player EVER. and yet i somehow managed to win a game, finish way under par in the second game, and get THREE HOLES-IN-ONE in one game!!!!!!! i think i'm going to frame that scorecard.
current:
in pajamas, drinking captain and coke, trying to relax. i just got off the phone with the boy. it's the last time we'll be able to really talk until after he's out of the hospital. he'll call tomorrow, but he'll be in no condition to actually have a conversation. his mother is going to call me and keep me updated which is nice, but i'm still a wreck. i'm reading everything i can to try to understand the procedures, and it just isn't making me feel any better.
crap random:
johnny and company were stopping in st. louis the day i left, on their way to L.A. i don't know why, but it made me feel really uncomfortable. partly because i think he's still with jackie, or at least still friends with her, and i'm still really angry about a lot of things regarding him. part of it, i'm sure, is because i know that with his way of stumbling ass-backwards into luck, he'll be a rockstar millionare within a week of getting to california and that bugs me. yet for some reason, i'm really really happy that rob (also in california) has an incredible job and is doing really well out there- i guess it's because rob works really hard and earns everything good that he gets, while johnny just seems to stumble into things and neither appreciate them nor care about who's involved. yes, i'm still angry with him. so what, everyone's got that person from their past who drives them nuts. i do hope he does well for himself, deep down. i'm not that horrible of a person.
more serious random:
i was listening to tim mcgraw's "live like you were dyin'" on the radio just after driving through a horrendous storm (doing 20 mph on 95 and still couldn't see the car in front of me) and then after the rain stopped and i got off of 95, traffic came to nearly a dead halt and you could see an accident ahead. huge. everyone merges over, and i had my windows down. there were a ton of emergency vehicles, so many that the lights would make you dizzy if you stared for too long. as i drove past it, i saw a cop comforting someone crying. i was close enough to hear the crying, and see the person keep looking over towards one of the completely destroyed cars. there were a bunch of firefighters around the car. maybe someone was still inside. how they could be, i don't know. i keep hearing crying. i've never seen such a hollow sight. i have that reactionary feeling that i'm wasting my life with silly, petty stuff. you couldn't tell what kind of vehicle it was before it turned into a charred mess.
to anyone who's still reading this drivel:
go get a cookie. you deserve it. and then go check yourself into a mental facility because you're obviously insane.
st. louis
wonderful time. he was feeling pretty sick the whole time i was there, so we did lots of t.v. watching and reading. he kept apologizing, but i thought it was absolutely perfect. i have a rough time with his family though. i feel SO guilty saying that. they're all perfectly nice, lovely people. i'm just not used to the teasing, i guess. i've always been overly-sensitive, and my family was always much more serious. i shouldn't take a lot of it as insults, but they somehow kept managing to hit on things that make me very self-conscious to begin with, and then to have my boyfriend's family laughing... it just really did a number on my head. again, i know it was all in jest and i should just chill out. i just worry so much. it was so perfect being with him, i was a wreck as soon as i got through security at the airport.
job:
YAY! but really, i have no idea if i'll get it or not. i'm not exactly sure what "conditional offer" means. if it's "we'll give you a job on the condition that you prove you're not a moron," all bets are off. the stipulations the thing had were all about the background check and polygraph and physical and drug test, etc etc. the fine print talked about the possibility that they would give a baltimore city resident preference, and that the grant money might not go through. ok, fine. so now i'm STILL playing the waiting game, bumming around until i see if i really get it or not. i'm going on the assumption that in august i will have a paycheck, though. i have no idea what i'll be doing as a serologist. none whatsoever. ok yeah i know the basics, but i know NOTHING about it!!!! i'm terrified. but really excited. then grad school in a year, and then i'll have a degree and experience and can get a real job. i should probably stop getting ahead of myself.
beach:
it was nice. we had a little bug issue. i LOVE that place, i'm going to cry like a baby when we get rid of it, but there are some things i won't miss. i would've preferred more beach time, and i could do without my sister changing the radio and not letting me listen to my music, but making me listen to liz freakin phair when I WAS DRIVING IN HOLIDAY BEACH TRAFFIC, but whatever. it's done now. i could also do without fireworks traffic, and almost getting killed, and almost having my brain explode with road rage at all of the stupid, selfish, inconsiderate, ridiculous assholes in the world today. on a lighter note, i played miniature golf. this, at the beach, is not noteworthy. however, i am the WORST miniature golf player EVER. and yet i somehow managed to win a game, finish way under par in the second game, and get THREE HOLES-IN-ONE in one game!!!!!!! i think i'm going to frame that scorecard.
current:
in pajamas, drinking captain and coke, trying to relax. i just got off the phone with the boy. it's the last time we'll be able to really talk until after he's out of the hospital. he'll call tomorrow, but he'll be in no condition to actually have a conversation. his mother is going to call me and keep me updated which is nice, but i'm still a wreck. i'm reading everything i can to try to understand the procedures, and it just isn't making me feel any better.
crap random:
johnny and company were stopping in st. louis the day i left, on their way to L.A. i don't know why, but it made me feel really uncomfortable. partly because i think he's still with jackie, or at least still friends with her, and i'm still really angry about a lot of things regarding him. part of it, i'm sure, is because i know that with his way of stumbling ass-backwards into luck, he'll be a rockstar millionare within a week of getting to california and that bugs me. yet for some reason, i'm really really happy that rob (also in california) has an incredible job and is doing really well out there- i guess it's because rob works really hard and earns everything good that he gets, while johnny just seems to stumble into things and neither appreciate them nor care about who's involved. yes, i'm still angry with him. so what, everyone's got that person from their past who drives them nuts. i do hope he does well for himself, deep down. i'm not that horrible of a person.
more serious random:
i was listening to tim mcgraw's "live like you were dyin'" on the radio just after driving through a horrendous storm (doing 20 mph on 95 and still couldn't see the car in front of me) and then after the rain stopped and i got off of 95, traffic came to nearly a dead halt and you could see an accident ahead. huge. everyone merges over, and i had my windows down. there were a ton of emergency vehicles, so many that the lights would make you dizzy if you stared for too long. as i drove past it, i saw a cop comforting someone crying. i was close enough to hear the crying, and see the person keep looking over towards one of the completely destroyed cars. there were a bunch of firefighters around the car. maybe someone was still inside. how they could be, i don't know. i keep hearing crying. i've never seen such a hollow sight. i have that reactionary feeling that i'm wasting my life with silly, petty stuff. you couldn't tell what kind of vehicle it was before it turned into a charred mess.
to anyone who's still reading this drivel:
go get a cookie. you deserve it. and then go check yourself into a mental facility because you're obviously insane.