Fuck.
Last Thursday, during my yearly checkup, my doctor found a lump in my breast. She told me not to worry, it was probably just a fibroidal cyst. These are not uncommon, two of the three other women who work in my office get them, and they are harmless. She scheduled me for a breast ultrasound this morning. I was worried, but not too much. The one thing you never want to hear when you go see your ob/gyn is that they found something abnormal, especially a lump. My grandmother had breast cancer, though not until her 70's. So yes, I was disquieted and upset, but I managed not to worry too much this weekend.
I had the ultrasound this morning. It's not a cyst. It's a mass. I go back tomorrow for a biopsy so they can determine whether or not it is benign, or the Big C.
My mom insisted on coming with me this morning, and now I'm glad she did. I was okay getting the news, talking to the nurse about what would happen during the biopsy, and the scheduling for tomorrow. But as soon as I walked out of the reception area into the main hallway, I lost it. Had a breakdown right there.
My Mom and I got some coffee and breakfast and talked for a while until I felt a little better. The good news is that I'm young, and the mass has pretty clearly defined edges, which usually indicates it is benign. The radiologist I saw this morning didn't seem overly concerned, due to these reasons. He did spend a lot of time ultrasounding my armpit and taking pictures of it, though. He didn't explain this but I know he was looking for my lymph nodes- which is the first place breast cancer usually metasticizes. I'll get the results of tomorrow's biopsy on Wednesday.
I know I shouldn't be too worried. I know the odds are in my favor. But I can't help being terrified right now.
I had the ultrasound this morning. It's not a cyst. It's a mass. I go back tomorrow for a biopsy so they can determine whether or not it is benign, or the Big C.
My mom insisted on coming with me this morning, and now I'm glad she did. I was okay getting the news, talking to the nurse about what would happen during the biopsy, and the scheduling for tomorrow. But as soon as I walked out of the reception area into the main hallway, I lost it. Had a breakdown right there.
My Mom and I got some coffee and breakfast and talked for a while until I felt a little better. The good news is that I'm young, and the mass has pretty clearly defined edges, which usually indicates it is benign. The radiologist I saw this morning didn't seem overly concerned, due to these reasons. He did spend a lot of time ultrasounding my armpit and taking pictures of it, though. He didn't explain this but I know he was looking for my lymph nodes- which is the first place breast cancer usually metasticizes. I'll get the results of tomorrow's biopsy on Wednesday.
I know I shouldn't be too worried. I know the odds are in my favor. But I can't help being terrified right now.