insomnia
i should be sleeping right now. or at least tired. it's around 4:30 am!!! this is fucked up. i haven't even finished my composition homework...that stuff confuses the hell out of me, and the teacher clearly hates me, which doesn't help me out too much. why the hell did i have to take that class?!?!? oh yeah, because i need honors. oh well.
but i'm not tired in the least. well, i just yawned, so maybe i'm about to be tired. whooptifriggindoo!!! i'm gonna get to barely sleep. i'll wake up swollen and puffy and gross. my eyes will hurt. fun. i hate this!!!
but if i try to stay awake, i don't think i'll make it. i do have to drive to north county tomorrow/today for humanities class. oh how i love that teacher...he seems to actually like me. and kinda reminds me of the art history teacher in HS...who i loved btw. so yeah, humanities probably makes up for the hell that is composition.
sadly, composition has one redeeming quality...a boy. a fucking boy!!! and a boy that isn't even my type. well, actually he is. but he shouldn't be. he's conservative (yay!!). but he's also xcore xtian (booo!!!). he's cute as fuck...but if he's as good as he says, i'll never get anything from him. tsk. seriously, his def. topic is patience...can you say VIRGIN!!!! and i don't even mind that...i just mind that if he is, i'm certainly not gonna get to be his first...which i definitely wouldn't mind. because, well, yum.
this is how pitiful i am: i fantasize about him. often dirty fantasies. sometimes just regular ones. i don't even know him. we talked once!!! once!!! but he sits next to me, right next to me, in composition...it's everything i can stand to not maul him right there. and i look with hatred at all the other females in the room, and in gov, which he and i also have together, i shoot them darts. they are cuter than me and i know it. they know it. he knows it.
i wish i'd just lied and told him i was an xtian too...maybe then he'd actually not mind me. maybe he'd like me. who knows? but i'm definitely not gonna get him now. but then, there's always rape.
but i'm not tired in the least. well, i just yawned, so maybe i'm about to be tired. whooptifriggindoo!!! i'm gonna get to barely sleep. i'll wake up swollen and puffy and gross. my eyes will hurt. fun. i hate this!!!
but if i try to stay awake, i don't think i'll make it. i do have to drive to north county tomorrow/today for humanities class. oh how i love that teacher...he seems to actually like me. and kinda reminds me of the art history teacher in HS...who i loved btw. so yeah, humanities probably makes up for the hell that is composition.
sadly, composition has one redeeming quality...a boy. a fucking boy!!! and a boy that isn't even my type. well, actually he is. but he shouldn't be. he's conservative (yay!!). but he's also xcore xtian (booo!!!). he's cute as fuck...but if he's as good as he says, i'll never get anything from him. tsk. seriously, his def. topic is patience...can you say VIRGIN!!!! and i don't even mind that...i just mind that if he is, i'm certainly not gonna get to be his first...which i definitely wouldn't mind. because, well, yum.
this is how pitiful i am: i fantasize about him. often dirty fantasies. sometimes just regular ones. i don't even know him. we talked once!!! once!!! but he sits next to me, right next to me, in composition...it's everything i can stand to not maul him right there. and i look with hatred at all the other females in the room, and in gov, which he and i also have together, i shoot them darts. they are cuter than me and i know it. they know it. he knows it.
i wish i'd just lied and told him i was an xtian too...maybe then he'd actually not mind me. maybe he'd like me. who knows? but i'm definitely not gonna get him now. but then, there's always rape.