I love the Fall....I hate the Fall...
The cool air approaches. That familiar scent of Fall is in the air. Memories come flowing back to my mind. A lot of my relationships were around this time of year. Every time I smell that Fall air I start to ponder on them. Mostly pondering on the older relationships.
I had this dream last night of this guy. I've dreamt of him before and each time he looks the same. I know who he is. He's a real person but not in my life. Never was. But in my dreams, he's the companion I wish to have. Anyways, I dreamt of him again last night and this morning, my heart was heavy. I felt lonely. I felt empty. Sure I have a wonderful companionship in my pets but I wish to have someone there to talk to...to hold...to kiss...to laugh with. Nothing more. Sex is farthest from my mind at this point. I just want closeness.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a way to create your own partner? The episode of Futurama where Fry downloads Lucy Lui into a robot was on the other night and that thought crossed my mind. That would be a great idea. Then I can have the man in my dreams. (yes, he's an actor. go on, laugh it up) But that would be so nice to be able to create your own partner. They would never leave you or want to be with someone else. You can give him/her the personality and look that you want. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it?
Then there's this thought...
I was talking to my x, Erik, the other day and we were on about how it's strange that our paths continue to cross each other. Neither of us saying that we were meant to be together but it's weird how after 20 years we are still in touch with each other. We've lost contact a few times but either I went looking for him or he looked for me. The last time, my mom ran into him at a McDonald's in Biloxi. Which was the oddest thing to happen. We hadn't talked for about many years before that. Anyways he and I were wondering if that could mean something that our lives keep crossing. Strange the way life works sometimes.
I had this dream last night of this guy. I've dreamt of him before and each time he looks the same. I know who he is. He's a real person but not in my life. Never was. But in my dreams, he's the companion I wish to have. Anyways, I dreamt of him again last night and this morning, my heart was heavy. I felt lonely. I felt empty. Sure I have a wonderful companionship in my pets but I wish to have someone there to talk to...to hold...to kiss...to laugh with. Nothing more. Sex is farthest from my mind at this point. I just want closeness.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a way to create your own partner? The episode of Futurama where Fry downloads Lucy Lui into a robot was on the other night and that thought crossed my mind. That would be a great idea. Then I can have the man in my dreams. (yes, he's an actor. go on, laugh it up) But that would be so nice to be able to create your own partner. They would never leave you or want to be with someone else. You can give him/her the personality and look that you want. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it?
Then there's this thought...
I was talking to my x, Erik, the other day and we were on about how it's strange that our paths continue to cross each other. Neither of us saying that we were meant to be together but it's weird how after 20 years we are still in touch with each other. We've lost contact a few times but either I went looking for him or he looked for me. The last time, my mom ran into him at a McDonald's in Biloxi. Which was the oddest thing to happen. We hadn't talked for about many years before that. Anyways he and I were wondering if that could mean something that our lives keep crossing. Strange the way life works sometimes.