X-roads

[filipino_shawty]

So here I am at my X-roads with my career ... steering off to an unknown path.  Though the road does not seem to scary, I face a lot of animosity amongst myself.  Self-regret flutters through me like a seizure -- it comes and goes.  I was pointed at a path and I followed.  Instead I should have followed my heart's desire.  Now I am stuck at a place where I am dumbfounded by curiousity of what could of been, but I have to make choices, significant and profound.  Passion seeps through my pours and my mind travels in warp speed.  Don't know when to stop myself and make a decision.  I'm ready for a challenge but yet I want to be creative with it.  Some people don't want me to succeed for whatever selfish reasons, and this is what makes me want to challenge myself further.  I want to go above and beyond current expectations to prove myself worth.  Don't get me wrong ... I am beyond happy in terms of OUR love.  I can't ask for anything more but patience.  I know once I get past this point of my life ... it will just be a figment of challenges to come.  This is just a stepping stone to monetary/momentary happiness.  As a friend has told me of recent,

"people like to prepare for tomorrow without knowing exactly what will happen
however, that's pointless
instead one should find stability within themselves
and adapt to the situations as they happen
need to make money to cover a new bill
adapt
people think that it's more troubling that way
but the irony is
it's more troubling to try to do it in advance
because it's worrisome
and leads to paranoia
one's stressed trying to do something before it happens"

So I will continue on with my imperfections and failures because that is a part of growing up.  All I have to do is faith and my dreams will follow.

- Liza Mae V.