1. Both, of course. One can be a world-weary cynic without being Buddhist, but it really helps. Some might argue that Buddhism espouses clear-eyed realism rather than cynicism. But then, I've always had a hard time distinguishing the difference. If you forced me at swordpoint to choose one, I'd pick cynic - but only because I don't label myself Buddhist. I'm too heretical, as with most of my other belief systems of choice, to wear the label.
2. Hm, from the sublime to the ridiculous ::feels faint:: You can still make me blush...er um. Last meal? Fugu. Why the hell not?
3 and 4. I suppose we've both changed, and for some of the same reasons. Age, bittersweet life, mistakes, victories, love, anger, worry, time. All these leave their marks. I feel much the same to myself, but more layered. Softer in some ways. Stronger, too. You feel different to me, a bit, but I wonder if that's more about me than you. I know we're both a lot more honest than we were back then.
5. This one was pretty hard. There are plenty to hate. But, of course, I immediately stopped reading the ones I didn't like so they don't spring to mind. I guess I'll have to go with Wonder Warthog, because just thinking about him gives me PTSD symptoms.
(Trying again) And besides, if I'd married you when I had the chance, given who I was then... Either I would have settled down and been fine, or done something stupid that killed it, and we both know the latter would have been more likely. We found good partners, eventually.
Yeah, sometimes I am full of "What Ifs" but on the whole, no real regrets over the way it worked out eventually.
Recently we spent time with an old flame - someone intense who you never knew, from the Lost Years. He was a big What If for me, and P was a little threatened in a not-really-serious way. Later we joked that I was glad it never actually happened, because now I can have this guy as a Friend with History instead of a Bitter Divorcee. It's far preferable, really.
2. Hm, from the sublime to the ridiculous ::feels faint:: You can still make me blush...er um. Last meal? Fugu. Why the hell not?
3 and 4. I suppose we've both changed, and for some of the same reasons. Age, bittersweet life, mistakes, victories, love, anger, worry, time. All these leave their marks. I feel much the same to myself, but more layered. Softer in some ways. Stronger, too. You feel different to me, a bit, but I wonder if that's more about me than you. I know we're both a lot more honest than we were back then.
5. This one was pretty hard. There are plenty to hate. But, of course, I immediately stopped reading the ones I didn't like so they don't spring to mind. I guess I'll have to go with Wonder Warthog, because just thinking about him gives me PTSD symptoms.
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Yeah, we're both more honest in part because we're lie less to ourselves. That's one of my major differences since those early days.
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Recently we spent time with an old flame - someone intense who you never knew, from the Lost Years. He was a big What If for me, and P was a little threatened in a not-really-serious way. Later we joked that I was glad it never actually happened, because now I can have this guy as a Friend with History instead of a Bitter Divorcee. It's far preferable, really.
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