2011 Already?
Another year has come and gone (swiftly), and as I get older I'm left wondering where all the time went. I ponder the fact that looking back over the year, it feels as though I've accomplished absolutely nothing and really did nothing more than exist from the day to day. That's not necessarily true, I know, but it feels (and appears) that way to me.
So another year gone, and this will probably be my quarterly journal post. As always, I try to resolve to post more, but inevitably that doesn't happen because I simply lack the motivation to put into a journal those things that I've already said on the telephone or in some form of IM.
Last year in a nutshell: I did write. Most of it random, nearly all of it fannish, some cooperative. It mostly staggered and stalled because Real Life was a Royal Pissy Bitch, but it did keep my head in some sort of writing space. Now that I have new armor and a sword (at least a +3 against Real Life in Pissy Bitch Mode), so there might be hope yet. The Girl was the particular source of my woes and stress, which is the reason I got the armor and sword. (Not to use against her, but rather to use to defend myself from the inevitable fallout and randomly spawning demons and other such creatures).
I was going to keep it brief, but, who am I kidding?
The Girl: Because I update so infrequently, and my stress levels reached a point where I didn't want to talk about it a lot, never mind writing about it, most might not be aware of the Issues (yes, the capital 'I' is intentional) with The Girl. The Girl is eight years old now (and if you think that makes you feel old, think how it makes me feel!) and in third grade. Since before kindergarten she has been . . . difficult. Highly sensitive, very emotional, easily upset and angered, and prone to temper tantrums outside of the normal range of healthy behavior for a child in her age group.
We visited doctor after to doctor in those early years only to be told that it was environmental. DH and I had the wrong parenting style, we were too permissive, we were allowing her to manipulate us, yadda yadda yadda. (I officially and formerly give a one fingered salute to all those know it all quack jobs who wouldn't listen to us.) It wasn't until she started first grade (she attended a private kindergarten) that the real issues started to appear. Only then, when supported by evidence from a teacher, did someone finally listen to us. (I guess a teacher reporting that a child is having meltdowns, temper tantrums, throwing things, breaking things, running away and hiding under and behind furniture carries more weight than a parent?)
It still took almost a year from that point to get a true diagnosis pinned down for The Girl. It also took that long to find a combination of a psychiatrist and psychologist who recognized the problems and knew how what to try and how to work through things. The Girl has ADHD-combined type with the co-moribidly existing condition of General Anxiety Disorder with moderate level OCD. In layman's terms: She is hyperactive, inattentive, impulsive, anxious and prone to obsessive compulsive behaviors. And this hyperactive, inattentive, impulsive, anxious and obsessive compulsive child is placed in a classroom setting with 20-25 other students, expected to sit still, absorb work quietly, follow instructions without question, and basically fit into a little box.
She was attending (an expensive) parochial school, but they were ill-equipped to handle her. We transferred her to public school where she spent approximately five months (between the end of second grade and beginning of third) before we came to the realization that she really needed to be able to draw on all those federal resources that public schools offer. She was tested and it was unamiously decided across the board that The Girl's mental health diagnosis combined with the ADHD do constitute a disability as outlined by IDEA.
(I'll spare you the reading except for those who are really curious.
Under IDEA 2004:
* Special education and related services should be designed to meet the unique learning needs of eligible children with disabilities, preschool through age 21.
* Students with disabilities should be prepared for further education, employment and independent living.
It's not actually that cut n' dry, but that's the gist of it for what needs to be said here)
The Girl will receive an IEP, which is a federally mandated plan designed to meet the educational needs of The Girl according to her specific disability. For example, The Girl does not do well working in groups or even partnered one on one sometimes. She's very rigid and controlling (the OCD and anxiety), and reacts strongly when her will is thrawted (the impulsivity of the ADHD). One of the proposed solutions is to take the time and find one or two classmates that The Girl can work with (meaning students that will let her take control most of the time) and limit her group participation to only those students. There have been a few that she's had no conflicts with in group situations, so that's workable. However, right now, she can't function in a group larger than 3, so part of her IEP will be "No group work in groups larger than three, only works in groups with Sally, Betty and/or Marge, and allowed to work independently when the situation requires it." Again, a generalization, but that's how things will work.
I have to pause here and say we got lucky. I have to give a huge hug and thank you to the school psychologist, Mrs. P, who has worked so much with The Girl and gotten us to this point. Unless you've been where I have, getting phone calls, getting pulled from work, getting letters and notices at home, dreading each time the telephone rings and seeing the number of the elementary school, it's hard to understand how much of a burden has been lifted. The school now has to take responsibility for adapting to and handling The Girl's behavior issues; not only that, but the new elementary school that was transferred to within district has a resource room and an intervention specialist, Mrs. H, who is trained to do exactly that.
So yes, 2011 is already looking better.
(I have to mention an aside as well. What would make The Girl's diagnosis all that much more wonderful to deal with? The required evaluation for disability eligibility required a battery of physical and academic tests, including an IQ test. The child's IQ is at the upper end of the spectrum. She didn't qualify for gifted but but she missed it by such a narrow margin that all of her teachers are so convinced that she should have qualified that she's being tested again in the spring.
Right, so child with ADHD, anxiety, OCD, very creative despite her rigidity and inflexibility in the usual things, also very, very bright if not gifted. She's already complaining that the school work is too easy for her. Of course, she doesn't want to do it because it's too easy, instead of doing it and getting bored after being done.
We. Are. So. Screwed.)
Wow. That was way more than I intended to write. I did want to update my whole mindset on writing, but I think that will wait a bit. Don't want to put anyone asleep. If you know, your eyes didn't already glaze over.
I'll post more later.
This entry was originally posted at http://fikgirl.dreamwidth.org/171368.html. If you have a Dreamwidth account, please comment there using that account. If you don't have a Dreamwidth account, please comment there using OpenID.
So another year gone, and this will probably be my quarterly journal post. As always, I try to resolve to post more, but inevitably that doesn't happen because I simply lack the motivation to put into a journal those things that I've already said on the telephone or in some form of IM.
Last year in a nutshell: I did write. Most of it random, nearly all of it fannish, some cooperative. It mostly staggered and stalled because Real Life was a Royal Pissy Bitch, but it did keep my head in some sort of writing space. Now that I have new armor and a sword (at least a +3 against Real Life in Pissy Bitch Mode), so there might be hope yet. The Girl was the particular source of my woes and stress, which is the reason I got the armor and sword. (Not to use against her, but rather to use to defend myself from the inevitable fallout and randomly spawning demons and other such creatures).
I was going to keep it brief, but, who am I kidding?
The Girl: Because I update so infrequently, and my stress levels reached a point where I didn't want to talk about it a lot, never mind writing about it, most might not be aware of the Issues (yes, the capital 'I' is intentional) with The Girl. The Girl is eight years old now (and if you think that makes you feel old, think how it makes me feel!) and in third grade. Since before kindergarten she has been . . . difficult. Highly sensitive, very emotional, easily upset and angered, and prone to temper tantrums outside of the normal range of healthy behavior for a child in her age group.
We visited doctor after to doctor in those early years only to be told that it was environmental. DH and I had the wrong parenting style, we were too permissive, we were allowing her to manipulate us, yadda yadda yadda. (I officially and formerly give a one fingered salute to all those know it all quack jobs who wouldn't listen to us.) It wasn't until she started first grade (she attended a private kindergarten) that the real issues started to appear. Only then, when supported by evidence from a teacher, did someone finally listen to us. (I guess a teacher reporting that a child is having meltdowns, temper tantrums, throwing things, breaking things, running away and hiding under and behind furniture carries more weight than a parent?)
It still took almost a year from that point to get a true diagnosis pinned down for The Girl. It also took that long to find a combination of a psychiatrist and psychologist who recognized the problems and knew how what to try and how to work through things. The Girl has ADHD-combined type with the co-moribidly existing condition of General Anxiety Disorder with moderate level OCD. In layman's terms: She is hyperactive, inattentive, impulsive, anxious and prone to obsessive compulsive behaviors. And this hyperactive, inattentive, impulsive, anxious and obsessive compulsive child is placed in a classroom setting with 20-25 other students, expected to sit still, absorb work quietly, follow instructions without question, and basically fit into a little box.
She was attending (an expensive) parochial school, but they were ill-equipped to handle her. We transferred her to public school where she spent approximately five months (between the end of second grade and beginning of third) before we came to the realization that she really needed to be able to draw on all those federal resources that public schools offer. She was tested and it was unamiously decided across the board that The Girl's mental health diagnosis combined with the ADHD do constitute a disability as outlined by IDEA.
(I'll spare you the reading except for those who are really curious.
Under IDEA 2004:
* Special education and related services should be designed to meet the unique learning needs of eligible children with disabilities, preschool through age 21.
* Students with disabilities should be prepared for further education, employment and independent living.
It's not actually that cut n' dry, but that's the gist of it for what needs to be said here)
The Girl will receive an IEP, which is a federally mandated plan designed to meet the educational needs of The Girl according to her specific disability. For example, The Girl does not do well working in groups or even partnered one on one sometimes. She's very rigid and controlling (the OCD and anxiety), and reacts strongly when her will is thrawted (the impulsivity of the ADHD). One of the proposed solutions is to take the time and find one or two classmates that The Girl can work with (meaning students that will let her take control most of the time) and limit her group participation to only those students. There have been a few that she's had no conflicts with in group situations, so that's workable. However, right now, she can't function in a group larger than 3, so part of her IEP will be "No group work in groups larger than three, only works in groups with Sally, Betty and/or Marge, and allowed to work independently when the situation requires it." Again, a generalization, but that's how things will work.
I have to pause here and say we got lucky. I have to give a huge hug and thank you to the school psychologist, Mrs. P, who has worked so much with The Girl and gotten us to this point. Unless you've been where I have, getting phone calls, getting pulled from work, getting letters and notices at home, dreading each time the telephone rings and seeing the number of the elementary school, it's hard to understand how much of a burden has been lifted. The school now has to take responsibility for adapting to and handling The Girl's behavior issues; not only that, but the new elementary school that was transferred to within district has a resource room and an intervention specialist, Mrs. H, who is trained to do exactly that.
So yes, 2011 is already looking better.
(I have to mention an aside as well. What would make The Girl's diagnosis all that much more wonderful to deal with? The required evaluation for disability eligibility required a battery of physical and academic tests, including an IQ test. The child's IQ is at the upper end of the spectrum. She didn't qualify for gifted but but she missed it by such a narrow margin that all of her teachers are so convinced that she should have qualified that she's being tested again in the spring.
Right, so child with ADHD, anxiety, OCD, very creative despite her rigidity and inflexibility in the usual things, also very, very bright if not gifted. She's already complaining that the school work is too easy for her. Of course, she doesn't want to do it because it's too easy, instead of doing it and getting bored after being done.
We. Are. So. Screwed.)
Wow. That was way more than I intended to write. I did want to update my whole mindset on writing, but I think that will wait a bit. Don't want to put anyone asleep. If you know, your eyes didn't already glaze over.
I'll post more later.
This entry was originally posted at http://fikgirl.dreamwidth.org/171368.html. If you have a Dreamwidth account, please comment there using that account. If you don't have a Dreamwidth account, please comment there using OpenID.