More Trouble Than a Texas Twister, by Knightshade (PG-13)
Rec Category: Team
Pairing: none
Categories: team, gen, humor, Jack O’Neill, Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter, Teal’c, Janet Fraiser
Warnings: very, very bored Jack, tiny bit of innuendo
Author on LJ: dknightshade
Author's Website: Knightshade's Garden
Link: More Trouble Than a Texas Twister
Why This Must Be Read: Imagine a bored Jack.
Imagine a bored Jack, stuck in a single room for a solid month.
Now imagine being stuck in that room with Jack...
In this hilarious story, written for the sg1teamficathon, Janet is forced to quarantine SG-1 in an isolation room after a trip off-world. No one's very happy about it, but Jack apparently feels that if he's going to go insane, he's going to take the rest of the team with him. There are Jack's attempts at practical jokes and cheating at cards and the battle over the laptop, not to mention my personal favorite, which is excerpted below. By the time you've finished reading this, you'll be laughing out loud - and thinking that Sam, Teal'c, and Daniel actually let Jack off easy!
George sat at his desk, not wanting to look at the hundreds of emails that were sure to be clogging his inbox, most of them from people he didn’t really want to hear from. His eyes skimmed the long list of bolded messages when an unexpected name caught his attention. He clicked open the message and began to read.
Dear General Hammond,
I’m emailing you because I have a bit of a problem and I need your help. You see, just before our last off-world mission, I was approached by a man from Nigeria about an artifact in his possession. He said that it held the key to all the knowledge of the universe. He had agreed to sell the artifact to the University of Chicago for study, however he needed someone to help him get it into the country. He was willing to give me a 10% fee from the $25 million sale to U of C if I would just allow the artifact to be transferred to my safe deposit box. The problem is, I don’t have a safe deposit box. I was planning to get one set up but then we brought that tablet thingy back from PX2-535 and I completely forgot to eat, much less go to the bank. Teal’c doesn’t have one either and Sam is way too smart to fall for something like this, so I need to use Jack’s safe deposit box. Could you please let the two of us out of quarantine so that we can complete the transaction and get the artifact safely into the hands of archaeologists where it can be properly studied for the benefit of all mankind?
Daniel
PS: Since all I care about is world peace and learning the knowledge of the universe, you can have my 10% cut of the $25 million.
Hammond sighed and clicked the reply button.
Dr. Jackson,
When you are done using the computer, please be sure to log out.
General Hammond