The Knife's Edge of Madness, by Strix Varia (PG-13)

Dec 02, 2015 12:33

Rec Category: Samantha Carter
Categories: drama, hurt/comfort, AU, angst, ep related, Sam and Janet friendship, character study, original characters
Warnings: none
Author on LJ: gunhilda
Author's Website: SG-1 Fanfiction by Strix varia
Link: The Knife's Edge of Madness or at FF.net

Why This Must Be Read: In this powerful piece, Sam manages to escape the hospital in Desperate Measures on her own... but she doesn't get away unscathed.

Take Sam Carter and strip away her memories, her physical health, her very sense of self. Plague her with memories that make no sense and give her no resource to discover the truth. Then sit back and watch as she still is strongly, powerfully Sam, and finds her own way back to her old self and her old life.

I love her determination, her courage, and driving need for discovery. No matter what the circumstances, that aspect of Sam never changes.


They taught her to button her shirt with one hand. They taught her to tie her shoes. Writing was more difficult. She had trouble holding the pen, and her hand shook uncontrollably. Her letters looked as though they’d been made by a child. A child with tremors. She was amazed the therapist could read them.

They taught her how to open cans and cook. They taught her to balance a checkbook. They tried to teach her how to use a calculator, but she didn’t need one. She seemed to be good with numbers. Very good. She did not seem to be good at cooking. Simple things were often hard. She could never remember how much shampoo to use.

They were as surprised as she was when she sat down at a computer and knew how to use it. It was easier to type than write with a pen. She could aim her right index finger to hit the keys. They were more impressed when she fixed a nurse's crashed computer. Eventually, they turned her loose on a broken PC, and the tech watched in bemusement as she fixed it left-handed… without specs. After that, her physical therapy often involved handling tools and typing. Screwdrivers were the hardest, but she managed to repair various electronic devices under the watchful supervision of the electrician. They speculated that she might have been an electrical engineer. Perhaps that explained why she could remember how to diagnose a circuit board, but not how to mash potatoes.

Her speech progressed slowly. She learned to form words. It was slow and painful and embarrassing. Eventually she was able to form short sentences, but she had to concentrate on each word. Often she forgot what she was trying to say. She dreaded speech therapy, hated having to try to talk. They said she might always have trouble with it, but told her she was lucky. Some people could not read, write, or understand speech at all. She did not feel lucky.

angst, au, drama, character: samantha carter, character study, friendship: sam and janet, hurt/comfort, era: season 3-5, character: original, episode related

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