I've loved like I should but I've lived like I shouldn't
I watched you slowly crawl over the seat and it made me angry, to see you more cautious like I always wanted you to be. I noticed I was always overly cautious and considerate and aware to compensate for your lack of these things. I just wanted you to be considerate, because when one's ego is inflated one thinks that no one else's preferences matter.
But alas, people never change.
I want to throw up as I anticipate your arrival; I am visibly terrified. You look up at me with a cruel smirk and raise of your eyebrows so hurtful I couldn't force my lips to make a smile....though I tried. I thought about walking out. I thought about throwing up. I went home and just slept and tried to dream the feeling away. Still...the image of those eyes scoffing at me, "you whore. you don't mean shit to me," or, "even this cocky, impersonal gesture is a waste of my time" burns into my brain. You could look at me like I'm at least as worthy as another fellow human being.
But alas, people never change.
I want to throw up as I anticipate your arrival; I am visibly terrified. You look up at me with a cruel smirk and raise of your eyebrows so hurtful I couldn't force my lips to make a smile....though I tried. I thought about walking out. I thought about throwing up. I went home and just slept and tried to dream the feeling away. Still...the image of those eyes scoffing at me, "you whore. you don't mean shit to me," or, "even this cocky, impersonal gesture is a waste of my time" burns into my brain. You could look at me like I'm at least as worthy as another fellow human being.