my fun buttons are cold

[figqueen]

So Friday afternoon I made the spur of the moment decision to go to atown for the July 4th holiday, and I’m glad I came home. Friday night in cville was fun though, I went and hung out at my friend Adam’s place and found out he shares my secret love of pauly shore. Hey buuud-dy. I know it’s awful, I really feel like I should go into hiding, but now I can take Adam with me, and we can watch bio-dome off in a hole somewhere. I always think its funny when there are small world moments, esp when I am at school because in my mind uva is this incredibly gigantic, faceless institution where those connections should never happen. So, this kid Eric in my ocean class ends up knowing Maya because he is in her art class and he is roommates with my friend Adam. Oh how random. Eric is nice, he is a talented photographer and I am now the proud owner of two of his works (they are really good, one is of the cutest little girl with the most expressive eyes and every time I see it I want to cry), and man does that guy have a nice set of man boobs. He’s a diver, so go figure. What can I say, muscles are fun. Adam, Eric, and I hung out smoked some hookah, watched hot shotz deux, a stereotypically bad 80s movie which I loved and was shocked I had never heard of before (it was stupid humor, my cup of tea) and Adam and I reveled in the fact that we both like crappy 80s cult movies, usher in our friend pauly shore. Adam is living in the most beautiful house ever; every room is either light blue, light green, or burnt sienna, it’s just gorgeous. And his rent is crazy cheap! Well...I have a pool and some 40 year old pervie guy who always hangs out there and hits on anything in a bikini, myself included. Take that Adam, where is your apartment perv? Anyway, Adam’s was a lot of fun because he is the sweetest thing ever, but it did get a little risqué when we had to wake Eric in order to find his keys (he had blocked in Adam’s car and Adam had to take me home). I figured that straddling Eric would be the most gentle way to wake him, but I don’t know if he appreciated it, you get the idea. I am shameless, ok, correction, Shana is shameless. It’s been awhile. Sigh, why why why am I such a hopeless case? Anyway, I had a great Friday night, played some old school Mario kart too and kicked serious ass (even though Adam mocked me for doing 50cc -- he can stuff it!). Saturday morning the cable guy came and fixed my internet, FINALLY, which I am enjoying at the moment. Though I did prefer stealing it from my unsuspecting neighbors. But it’s nice to follow the law, I guess. It turns out adelphia just gave me a broken modem. Thanks a lot you high speed bastards. Oh well, it works now (she says as it explodes and takes off her eyebrow in the blast). My parents came around the same time and we started out for Arlington and got lunch at whole foods, they make the best cornbread on earth. That’s all I have to say about that. Then we drove about and when I closed my eyes for like 5 minutes my parents kidnapped me and took me to downtown historic Warrenton which was a boring crap hole. Their downtown was a fucking block and a boring one too, no historical strippers or crack dealers or anything! What good is that? Well we ended up going to this old tea house which was uneventful except for the scary old lady who ran it and yelled at me and the fact they had cans of spotted dick. I kid you not. Spotted dick, huh. Apparently its pudding in a can. Why the hell would anyone name pudding in a can spotted dick? How would you logically make that connection? What does this pudding look like I wonder…Dear lord that man’s a genius I would love to meet that guy and marry him. So then I started making jokes about how spotted dick was ok but I preferred striated uterus and plaid testacle and my parents laughed a little too loud and the scary old lady gave us surly looks. Hey, she’s the perv with cans of spotted dick lying everywhere. Plus tea is just water with crap in it, big deal! Then we went home and I spent my Saturday bonding with the kallems. I hit up the gym, went shopping with Rebecca, and then the fam and I saw Rize. A-FUCKING-MAZING! Oh god if you see one movie this summer, see this one, and if you’ve already seen a movie this summer, go back in time and decide to stay in and wash your hair instead, then come forward in time to the present and go see this movie. It’s about inner city kids in LA who are involved in this underground dance craze known as clowning and a similar, modified version called krumping. The dance moves were amazing, the kids were so talented, it was a really wonderful movie. It had a powerful message, it was so real, it was so well done, it explored such a fascinating new trend/way of life. I really really loved it. I want to see it again! Any takers? It is a predominantly black movement, but they had one white kid who was really good, and an Asian dance group called Rice Track. Tommy has a future! The kids form these dance groups that substitute for gangs really and compete, and it’s just amazing that people can move like that. I left that theatre wanting to shake my ass, but found that my ass was incredibly un-shakeable. Or at least, not attractive when it was shaking feebly. Then we went to cosi for coffee and conversation and I got a fruit smoothie which was amazing. The only reason I mention it is because I remember senior year Jeff loved those bitches and he would always get a peach one that I told him looked like phlegm. And it did. And that makes me happy. Now I am happy just reminiscing about it. On Sunday I saw Laura for a little bit in between her shifts at work and she is doing well, a little stressed, as you would expect considering she works like 4454548 hours a day. I love that girl, but she deserves a break! And luckily she is getting one, because she left today for Utah to go to Rosie’s wedding. Wow…wedding. Have fun Laura! Good luck Rosie! I saw my neighbor biz for a bit and she gushed over Chris smarte (why why why) and then I hung out at the dog park with Twyla and my dad. I love taking her because she really loves it and gets to rough house with creatures who enjoy it, not like us, who just get clawed and humped mercilessly. Then Jeremy showed up on his bike which was a wonderful treat and I gallivanted with my wonderful atown cronies all day. We did it all. Ate pizza, drank root beer from the bottle, downed a bag of candy corn (ok, mostly me), hung out at a park, took pictures, worked on my “sexy face” which apparently is really hard to come by and is not me biting my lip (though I happen to like that one, but Jeremy says I look constipated), we played some Mario kart, a little soul caliber II (don’t want to get rusty, and yes, still got it), and then played with Tommy’s new toy. It’s this tablet pc thing and it is so awesome! It’s like an expensive etch-a-sketch because you can draw on the screen with a little pencil. It’s so cool and I drew my finest work “The Penis Tree” featuring a big penis tree, Tommy, and a flamingo with a top hat. I don’t think the human eye has ever captured a drawing more brilliant. On Monday Jeremy and I went running which was a lot of fun but good lord that boy in all kinds of shape. Compared to Jeremy I am a fat wad of flubber, but compared to the average American I am in pretty good shape. At least Jeremy keeps me humble. We ran around Arlington, slash I cried around Arlington, well, I actually didn’t do too badly until the end. I kept wanting to walk a little bit, but what a hard ass (literally, that guy has no fat anywhere) Jeremy kept making me run and saying inspirational things like “just keep swimming” (maybe he didn’t notice we weren’t in a pool, or was trying to point that out and taunt me) and “taste that victory” (victory tasted like sweat and tears. And a little like semen, can’t figure that one out.) I made it home somehow and Jeremy the masochist ran back to his house. He ran to my house, with me, and home. That boy crazy and in such awesome shape I can’t believe it. I had another stint at the dog park where I saw the cutest little thing. it was a yorkie-poo, part yorkie and part poodle. It was soo tiny and soo cute! Then I had a late lunch with Jeff whom I love and loved to see and we girl chatted about boys and various other things, and he might come visit me again in cville with a friend from school. Yay! I hope he does, I love company! I miss my friends already. Then I hung out with my family before I was dropped off at the train station due south. The ride was uneventful, I “read” oceanography, aka stared at the pictures of plankton, and eyed the hot boys and girl in my car. One was French I think, and kinda snooty and smoked like a chimney. Every break he would bolt off the car like his ass was on fire to go light one up. It was like he needed them to regulate his heart beat. Kelly kept me company on the train, you go girl, sing it sistah, and then when I got to cville I was rescued by the heroic Sean. Being a holiday there were no cabs, which I did not foresee and should’ve, but Sean rushed to my aid which I much appreciated. You rock Sean! And Maya does too by association. Jk. So I am back in cville, enjoying my internet, downloading the But I’m a Cheerleader soundtrack which is AMAZING and wishing I was a lesbian. I should go read some oceanography, but we shall see. Its 11:43, and the day of our nation’s birth, shouldn’t I go throw some tea at townies or something? I actually hate the 4th of July because I think it is where we went wrong. British accents would be cool, that’s all I have to say about that. Plus I am loyal to Bastille Day. Anyways off to go be naked in my empty apartment. My lucky neighbors. Smooch friends, miss you.

Song lyric from my new cd “breathe into my hands and cup them like a glass to drink from,” wow that song makes me want to cry. and on a lighter note “WAM BAM THANK YOU MA’M.” Sooo good.

Really, how do I write so much when my life doesn’t seem all that interesting. At least not enough to justify 3 pages…