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Sep 21, 2006 14:43

"you have a picture of life within you, a faith, a challenge, and you were ready for deeds and sufferings and sacrifices, and then you became aware by degrees that the world asked no deeds and no sacrifices of you whatever, and that life is no poem of heroism with heroic parts to play and so on, but a comfortable room where people are quite content with eating and drinking, coffee and knitting, cards and wireless. and whoever wants more and has got it in him- the heroic and the beautiful, and the reverence for the great poets or for the saints- is a fool and a don quixote. good. and it has been just the same for me, my friend. i was a gifted girl. i was meant to live up to a high standard, to expect much of myself and do great things. i could have played a great part. i could have been the wife of a king, the beloved of a revolutionary, the sister of a genius, the mother of a martyr. and life has allowed me just this, to be a courtesan of fairly good taste, and even that has been hard enough. that is how things have gone with me. for a while i was inconsolable and for a long time i put the blame on myself. life, thought i, must in the end be in the right, and if life scorned my beautiful dreams, so i argued, it was my dreams that were stupid and wrong headed. but that did not help me at all. and as i had good eyes and ears and was a little inquisitive too, i took a good look at this so-called life and at my neighbors and acquaintances, fifty or so of them and their destinies, and then i saw you. and i knew that my dreams had been right a thousand times over, just as yours had been. it was life and reality that were wrong."

-herman hesse
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