So suburban cops need a crime wave or something.
so vito & i are driving around this evening,
we're listening to merle haggard & going on a beer run (vito loves grain belt premium).
well,
we're rocking the south of the cities suburbs.
i'm smoking a cigarette & vito is making himself dizzy watching the streelights fly by.
suddenly there's cherries in my rearview.
now, when i'm driving around with vito,
i drive very nicely & at the speed limit.
so i'm wondering what the issue is.
i pull over, put out my smoke, & roll down my window.
here is where shit gets hairy:
vito is an incredibly friendly dog,
at least until he finds out you don't have food for him,
then he'll just plain ignore your ass.
well,
when the boy in blue gets to the window,
vito dives across my lap looking for a treat & a belly rub.
this scares the living hell out of the cop,
which results in a gun being aimed at both vito & myself.
so we have a cop aiming his firearm into the car,
my hands are in the air as i shout "RELAX RELAX RELAX" over & over,
and vito is barking like mad (when he was a pup, the brat neighbor kid would take pot shots at him with an air pistol. so he HATES guns).
after a few terrifying moments (it was probably seconds, but it felt like moments),
johnny law holsters his pistol & starts yelling at me,
threatening to ticket me for having a "dangerous animal" in my vehicle.
well folks,
vito is a miniature bulldog & is no bigger than a watermelon.
he's a fat, lazy dog & though he can be a little shit, he is not by any means dangerous.
johnny law was apparently just embarassed about overreacting.
and he's just lucky he didn't shoot vito,
the fucker'd have had to have shot me next.
we're listening to merle haggard & going on a beer run (vito loves grain belt premium).
well,
we're rocking the south of the cities suburbs.
i'm smoking a cigarette & vito is making himself dizzy watching the streelights fly by.
suddenly there's cherries in my rearview.
now, when i'm driving around with vito,
i drive very nicely & at the speed limit.
so i'm wondering what the issue is.
i pull over, put out my smoke, & roll down my window.
here is where shit gets hairy:
vito is an incredibly friendly dog,
at least until he finds out you don't have food for him,
then he'll just plain ignore your ass.
well,
when the boy in blue gets to the window,
vito dives across my lap looking for a treat & a belly rub.
this scares the living hell out of the cop,
which results in a gun being aimed at both vito & myself.
so we have a cop aiming his firearm into the car,
my hands are in the air as i shout "RELAX RELAX RELAX" over & over,
and vito is barking like mad (when he was a pup, the brat neighbor kid would take pot shots at him with an air pistol. so he HATES guns).
after a few terrifying moments (it was probably seconds, but it felt like moments),
johnny law holsters his pistol & starts yelling at me,
threatening to ticket me for having a "dangerous animal" in my vehicle.
well folks,
vito is a miniature bulldog & is no bigger than a watermelon.
he's a fat, lazy dog & though he can be a little shit, he is not by any means dangerous.
johnny law was apparently just embarassed about overreacting.
and he's just lucky he didn't shoot vito,
the fucker'd have had to have shot me next.