The Behr Legacy 2.6
Want to catch up? Behr Legacy Update Collection Post
CAUTION: 62 images for a 3MB download. Language, adult themes, ABSOLUTELY NO NUDITY. Its a travesty, I tell you, travesty. I LIED! THERE IS NUDITY! I FORGOT! *dies*
Welcome to the fourth time I've tried to write this sucker! *dies* If I don't finish it thi time I swear I'm just posting this unfinished. xD It can be all caption-your-own-adventure or some kind of overly-existential art piece or something.
ANYWAY.
Party. Get it started, let us. /Yoda
I feel its a little inconsistent of me to freak out and boo now that I've been shocked at single births twice so far this legacy. But who am I to maintain inconsistency. Or consistency. Or even coherrance... ^_^;;;
Gawds what am I even saying!?
WHO KNOWS! ANYWAY: APPARENTLY THERE'S TWO NEW BABIES IN THE HOUSE. ALL I CAN SAY IS OH MY GOD IT BETTER BE ONLY TWO >_>;;
I see one... HELLO BABY! And I'm assuming that this pose on Elfin Magic's behalf is a second baby spin and not her experiencing a herniated spleen post-parturition... As a thousand or more Diggers would have it: Come iiiinnnnnnn spinner..!
SUCCESS! ONLY TWO! And in theory we're looking at the last of our possible heirs - although we HAVE kinda altered those rules a little... xD
AND LOOK! I got Sweet Georgia Brown after all! Albeit a little edited ;)
I love how adoring Athena Isela is in her role as Aunt. <333
Elfin Magic: I HAVE CREATED... FIIIYAAAAH!! LIFE! ...Again
Athena Isela: Hello new little pretty one! Who's nose do YOU have? Is it Auntie Athena Iselas? *sparkles*
Fedora: Um, Miss? Did you know that your hair is a vanilla Peggy and doesn't look like anyone elses hair in this whole neighbourhood?
Fedora: Uh, its a lovely wig if that was what you were going for though! *bashful*
FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE IN INFANCY. I LOVE YOU, FEDORA! *fangirls*
Elfin Magic: OH wow, that was tiring. I'll just sit a minute to play some out dated slalom game and listen to the piano for a spell. You'll take care of the girls? And the girl? And the... Was there another one? A boy? *brow furrow*
Oh good, disease spawning inexplicable refuse. What EVERY home needs when they're still cleaning placenta off the carpet.
Fedora: Do we really need to hug right now? I love you Daddy (Judah by brilliantcat) but your face is all scratchy and there's disease downstairs. In the dark. WAITING TO COME UP. *scared*
Fedora: ...
Fedora: Maybe I do need that hug after all. *trembles*
Lounge-Room-Bear: O_O Can I have one too? *wibbles-eyes-that-see-foreverly*
FEDORA WARNED YOU!! Wait.. Hang on, you were both JUST here on the couch. Did the diseases take the elevator?
Oh good. Yeah. Great. Choice. Totes. Fully sick, mate. Yeah, grouse.
Athena Isela: OH GOD THEY'RE ON YOUR SHOES ;_; Why did we even come down here to expose ourselves?!
Me: SO GO BACK UPSTAIRS O_O
Athena Isela: *ignores* Our lives are overrrrrr!
Lemon Pepper: I am tired of your melodrama, Aunt. If we're so dead let me compose a worthy funeral dirge flavoured with your brand of exquisite failure in your name... >_>
Athena Isela: It is a plague, and we are overrun. Ah, death. In the paraphrased immortal words of Bon Jovi we can now sleep for we are dead... For I am now so tired from this burden. Aaaah sleep... PERCHANCE TO DREAM?!?! *panic*
Elfin Magic: How many times have I told you NOT to read Shakespeare while listening to Rock hits? NOW HELP ME SQUISH THESE SUCKERS! They may take our lives survive the apocalypse, but THEY'LL NEVER SURVIVE BEING FLASHED OUR UNCENSORED GENITALIA! OUR BOOT TREAD!
Meanwhile, elsewhere outside, away from the lady parts and the disease carriers...
Judah. Put the gun down on that one! You're already knocked up >_>;; Though I guess if you were going to go back up, NOW WOULD BE THE TIME, since you're safe from REIMPREGNATIOOOON...!
Though those tricksy aliens would probably work out how to do it anyway.
Bastards.
And I'm normally so excessively excited about alien abduction. Look what you've driven me too, Judah. I hope you're pleased! I know you are >_>
FEDORA WIPES AWAY THE HATE! Even being embraced by Ball of Stink™'s enveloping arms, and still half asleep with the same damn infant face template. You just KNOW the loving adorableness is lurking there. Oh yes. You know.
*soothed*
GASP! Like a liquified nerve gas stained angel of mercy: THE ROACHMAN IS HERE TO DELIVER US FROM EVIL! And Athena Isela's bad pop culture mish-mashes.
Er... I guess that still counts as EVIL!
Huh. Dudes why has no one extracted this and made it available in multiple sizes!? DO WANT dead roach plushie in my black generation kids houses!
Elfin Magic: Okay I have to pee, hon, so can you take this for me? You could just put her on the floor next to her sister. That's cool.
Me: Did it have to be THIS room?! O_O I thought you guys knew better than to be THIS absolutely fail.
Elfin Magic: Yes? I can keep an eye on them while I pee and its the most sterile room in the house. A NERVEGASEOUS ANGEL OF DEATH!! *reverent* is here, remember?
Me: Oh hey, good point. Carry on. *pleased at their foresight*
Judah: EXCUSE ME! Hate to break your reverie but. Uh, something is pushing its way out of me and I'm not designed for that..!
Me: Well it most certainly BETTER be only someTHING, and not somethings. If it is I will NOT. BE. AMUSED.
Bronze Bust: I will be. *smirk*
Oh. Superb.
Bronze Bust: Oh shit this is gonna tide me over for a good chuckle for the next thousand years. *nasally snigglers*
Judah: *cowers under the weight of impending responsibility and impossible Zeusian style birth*
Whale: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP..!
Bronze Bust: Are you just getting your oar in cause you can?
Whale: OOOOOOOP?
Bronze Bust: EEEEEEXCELLENT.
Judah apparently got over it pretty fast, check out how much street cred a steampunkian evil scientist would get for gestating genuine alien life.
+ THEY will love his unfeeling robot arm.
Bronze Bust: Awwwww, seriously now, I'd be pleased as a triumphant orator on the mount if I birthed such a specimen, too. Bring him on over for a kiss? *grinning pout*
Burley Wood & Pecan Sandie? Meet Aunt Bronze Bust. She'll be your sarcastic comic relief for the rest of your juvenille life...
Bronze Bust: *outrage* You coulda milked me for the miracle of the madonna, but nuuuu. A statue talks and you give me sass. Just for that, see if I ever talk again. *eyenarrow*
BEHOLD! Over exposed newest family photo! :D
Bronze Bust: *shun*
So at this point I was panicking like an anxiety ridden marmoset. Having NO idea where to fit what was basically QUADS OH GAWDS in the house.
With the prospect of five children under the age of child in the house and only the downstairs entrance hall and Athena Isela's large upstairs bedroom to play with, I opted for moving Athena Isela downstairs. Screened off the very entrance entrance way from the elevator and put this little monied bedroom nook together.
Rufus instantly approved.
I guess how could you not if you were constantly bathed in the golden illumination of your own unearthed booty?
Back in the master bedroom: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!
*overcome with the chaos*
Sensible Hue: *thinking* How can I welcome my brother and sister when I am but a mere babe and thus should not stress my newly forming vocal chords with large words. I should go with an all encapsulator
Sensible Hue: Gooo goo... Gah gah? *solemn expression*
Lemon Pepper: *stands demurely* Aunt how is it that you have yet to finish this level? Just draw a flamethrower and lay waste to the entire scene. Victory shall be yours.
Judah: *frozen in place with the after-shock of producing twins*
Bronze Bust: *wont even look at me*
AUGH ITS TOO MUCH!
I'm with you Judah. Lets all just go to sleep and deal with it when the dust settles. The carpet is plush, the alien babies can take it. Plus Bronze Bust will stand guard, wont you Bronze Bust?
Bronze Bust: *still snubbing me*
Good, thanks for that.
Judah: *dreams of anywhere but here*
Judah: *...or old maps*
Judah: *...either*
Is Lemon Pepper being really lovely to her little brother, or sharing in a plot to off their parents for purchasing them both matching pyjamas.
YOU DECIDE!
Lemon Pepper: I see the two of you have found an even more adventageous way of coping. Thankyou VERY much for sharing this coping mechanism with all of us. We REALLY appreciate it. >_>;;;;
Lemon Pepper: I shall stand firm and look out for our virescent siblings in the manner of Bronze Bust. MAKE HASTE, SENSIBLE HUE! RUN!!
Sensible Hue: *Sensibly, flees*
O_O ASKLJLFJDAKLKH!! You all know what just happened. You ALL know.
So in desperation I had someone, ANYONE, call a Nanny. Yes I was THAT desperate. And she was believe it or not, a DREAM!
She picked up all the kids, changed the ones that needed changing, fed them all and put them in their cribs, it was heavenly.
But, like all utopias, it had to end some time...
WOOT! Tis time for a VERY sensible birthday :D
Sensible Hue: Oh my, what IS this tingling sensation I feel in my pants? Surely no one could approve of such tom foolery! *gasps*
Sensible Hue: Actually, you know, that was quaiiite naaiice. *Darcy-esque sober quantity of pride*
Judah! Stop looking away! Your son is exhibiting emotions other than those most pragmatic and you missed it!
And now this MAY LOOK like its not at all smart nor logical. Especially as its sleeping in his parents room which could catch fire at any moment with all the rampant fireworking that goes on in there.
BUT! Its more sensible than it seems: He doesn't actually have a bed. I had no idea where to put one at this point.
Athena Isela: Okay, we've decided you need to sleep in here with your sister for now.
Sensible Hue: But, this is a girls room?
Athena Isela: Well it will just have to wait until we have the money to remodel yet again. At this point this is the most SENSIBLE choice.
Sensible Hue: Hooookaaaay.... *resigned*
*is reminded of katu_sims's impression of engram_au's daughter and giggles*
And now we bring you: STATING THE OBVIOUS, WITH SENSIBLE HUE! *cues impossibly inoffensive theme song*
Sensible Hue: Your new niece and nephew are aliens, Aunt!
Okay so it may be obvious, but DAMN I love it when they make these expressions. xD
Oh lords, Fin, MUST you remind me?
Uh, Judah? Maybe you should take a page out of your son's book.... What exactly are you fixing in a solid stainless steel bin with that screwdriver?
I wish that kids could cuddle on the couch together like teen/adults and kids can. Cause now they just look like their brand of familial closeness has been copied from Magpies.
IE: I really hate you, but I appreciate that its advantegeous for us to stand about and tolerate each other's company - at a safe distance, mind - but ONLY because its smarter. Otherwise I'm out of here.
Which I guess considering the temperments of the two eldest children is kind of fitting...
Uh, Lemon Pepper? Did you donate your eyebrows to science? O_O
*liberally applies hair tonic*
Lemon Pepper: HUZZAH! First my eyebrows, then the world!
Uh. Oh...
So I MAY have been going a tad stir crazy with four infants and a toddler in the house. Sensible Hue SENSIBLY had the prudence to age up for me to slightly ease the burden, but THANK THE LAWDS for this day! Lemon Pepper can finally actually assist with the child-rearing and the toddlers will be able to actually get around for themselves.
Though that MAY BE more of a burden than a blessing in disguise...
Lemon Pepper: I wish for a semi automatic gattling gun, a personal CCTV system, henchmen, a box of tim tams that never runs out... Oh, and of course: WORLD PEACE! My terms and conditions apply, World Peace™ not sold seperately.
TEENDOM! Or should I say: BADLY IN NEED OF A MAKEOVER DOM!
In case you're interested: Lemon Pepper chooses a life of infinite knowledge amassing, like her father. And would prefer to do it surrounded by masses of scantily clad, neon-haired acolytes from the blue-collar side of the tracks.
Uh... O_O HELLO THERE ELFIN MAGIC.
So, despite emulating her aunt in toddlerhood, her nose is a LITTLE lower than her mothers, but that's pretty much the ONLY difference. Well you know, apart from a tan and the sun-bleached locks.
Me: *informs Katu*
katu_sims: NO CLONES!!!
Me: I guess you're no longer eligible for heir, my future world dictator.
Something tells me she doesn't actually care.
Lemon Pepper: THERE'S NO TIME IN MY REGIME FOR PERSONAL CHILD CARRYING! I look awesome and shall attract many pawns who will love me unto death. My minions shall be my children. *elated*
Gawds, world domination aspirations aside: She's so most DEFINITELY her mother's daughter. Gawds, she's even got the abrasive 80s aerobic music going.
Elfin Magic: *dreams* My daughter looks EXACTLY LIKE ME...
Judah: *dreams* Only a matter of time now before she enslaves us all...
Whale: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP.
YEAH BIRTHDAY TIMES FOR ELDER OF THE BASICALLY-QUADS!!
Sweet Georgiabrown: I hate this music, and I refuse to age up in protest.
Fedora: So THAT'S where the tenderloin comes from! *edumacated*
ARMAGAD! FEDORA! O_O
I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE AWESOME. *tears of joy*
Goddamn, she'll melt your heart. Mine's already been melted and poured into a jar, which I've labelled "Fedora Forever" and placed atop an alter of jelly beans, jaunty hats and bear plushies. JUST FOR HER!
OH yeah, Sweet Georgiabrown was coerced to grow up to... She looks like her brother. And stuff...
*feels bad for not really caring*
BUT ITS OKAY! Cause JUDAH DOES! :D
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