Pigsy's Journey to Beauty: Episode One
CAUTION: 62 pics for a 2.9MB download. PIGS HAVING SEX! Well, a Pig having sex anyway... xD Possible profanity, minor animal neglect and BUTT CRACKS.
Pigsy's Journey To The West Beauty: De-Uglification/ISBI/Matchmaker for One Challenge: Episode One
World, meet Zhu Bajie! A sim I made for pixel_trade as a founder back in January who I thought would be useful for the Doohickey challenge, but never seemed to get used for it... Based on Pigsy from Monkey Magic, which is in turn based on the classic Chinese novel, Journey to the West. Because I was like WHY DOES NO ONE USE HIM *pout* I decided to use him myself in an OLD SCHOOL de-uglification challenge.
A De-Uglification, for those who don't know, is when you make the most HIDEOUS SIM YOU CAN (usually in BodyShop because theres much more scope for hideous there xD) and then see how many generations it takes to breed out the ugly gene. I used to play them back in the days before University came out and can't find the original rules post. But who cares cause those rules are pretty basic, Y/Y!? xD
NOT THAT I THINK HE'S COMPLETELY TERRIFYING! I actually think he's MEGALLY cute. And I LOVED Pigsy in Monkey Magic when I was a kid. I never understood why the top of Sandy's head was black and hairless. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?!?! Plus Pigsy wore a beret. CHIC!
As "Zhu Bajie is a complex and developed character in the novel. He looks like a terrible monster, part human and part pig, who often gets himself and his companions into trouble by his laziness, his gluttony, and his propensity for lusting after pretty women." I was like DUDE HE IS PERFECT FOR THIS KIND OF THING, and I also tried to make his stats reflect that as much as possible:
Zhu Bajie
Pleasure
Libra: 2-10-0-8-5
Turn Ons: Underwear, Makeup
Turn off: Glasses
LTW: Have 50 Dream Dates (yeah right, good luck on that one)
For the purposes of this challenge, I decided proof of breeding out the ugly gene was going to be interpreted as two consecutive generations that pretty much look like face templates. xD xD
ANYWAY to mix things up a bit cause you ALL KNOW that's how I roll, I decided to also make this challenge an ISBI. Cause I hadn't done one yet and katu_sims's Potts were doing strange things to my brain. Mostly screaming ONE OF US in my general direction. So I caved. AND HERE WE ARE!
Oh, you may also notice that this is a Matchmaker-For-One challenge, more on that later cause I kind of retro-activelly turned it into that. For reasons you'll see later. xD xD
ENOUGH TALKING AND SET UP AND ESSAYS THAT ARE FULL TEAL DEARS!! Here, meet Murray the Garden Club Dude. He's an alien. AWESOME. He is not teal, nor a deer. Though he is a very pleasing shimmery blue and purple. I APPROVE.
Zhu: So I'm new in this town and need to catch me a Uterus, STAT. Where do we go to hit all the laaaaaaaaaaydies? Care to be my wingman, son?
Murray: Well I normally have all my close and personal relationships with plants, in a largely voyeuristic sense. I just love it when they pollinate, and all that wonderful reproductive dust fills the air... You can just breathe in their sensuality.... ANYWAY, sure, I can take you out to all the hot spots if you'll be my first and only real friend.
So Murray takes Zhu to a pet store, cause women LOVE a man with an animal. ;) They're a great ice breaker and symbolise a man's caring, responsible side. Girls love a good child-replacement and all that.
But unfortunately THIS was the first thing we were all confronted with upon entering the fine purveyour of women attractants. Y HALO THAR BUTT CRACK!!
I thought I'd NOT townified anything that was 'untuckable' but I guess I managed to catch some when I was batch townifying. OOOOOOOOPS!!! UNFORTUNATE!
RandomTownieWithQuestionableFashionSense: LOL LOL YOU DIDN'T ASCEND..!
Zhu: EXCUSE ME! I was given the important role of Cleanser of the Altars, thankyou VERY MUCH. You can take your being a buddha crap, I got an all you can eat buffet. *tantrum*
YOU TELL 'EM, PIGSY!
So this SUPER CUTE cat was sitting in one of the displays and I could NOT RESIST!! Also her name was something FREAKEN AWESOME and I was like OH MY GOD THAT NAME IS THE COOLEST I WILL NEVER FORGET IT CAUSE ITS SO AWESOME..!! And thusly I didn't write it down. I'm pretty sure it was Phoenix. Cause that's a) DEAD SEXY, and b) the name of one of brilliantcat's cats. So it would stand to reason that I'd remember that shit.
ANYWAY, SCOTTISH FOLD! ADORABLE!!!! *flails from cute exposure*
Apart from the aquisition of Phoenix, we decided that the pickings at the pet store were pretty freaken slim. Apart from Butt-Crack-Girl, there were no other women, just a whole pile of unfortunate men. + Murray. Who I guess is unfortunate in his own SPECIAL way.
So we hit up a bar! Where we found a SUPER DELICIOUS BARKEEP, who will TOTALLY KEEP for a future generation. HELLOOOOO SAILOR..! But there were only men at the bar too (seriously Murray, we wanted all the hotspots for WOMEN, not men, been hanging out with bisexual and omnisexual plants to much much?!) so we headed off to a local park with Phoenix the Cat, hoping to catch some ladies that way.
And VOILA! WOMEN! AND POSSIBLY A WINNER!??!
TWO WINNERS?!?! Though Miss No-Personal-Bubble here looks a little angry. And has no respect for personal bubbles. But we'll forgive her, cause she's HOT. And can co-ordinate her hat to bring out her eyes. I NOTICE THIS SHIT, EVEN IF ZHU DOES NOT! KK?? *eyeballs Zhu's taste*
Things with PrettyBlondeFromThePark were going along SWIMMINGLY! And I was excited to have found someone FIRST TRY...
See? More than just a little toe-dip in a paddling pool swimmingly. Full on naked romp from Room With A View style swimming! :D
And then I realised Phoenix's stats were starting to go through the floor, and she was reduced to drinking from a puddle on the pavement. I want to say OH SHIT I AM A BAD KITTY PARENT, but the rest of me wants to say: AWWWWWWWW!! DRINKING FROM A PUDDLE SOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!! *melts*
So I'm going with the latter. Kk?
This is Alexis Delos Santos. He is completely unimportant and irrelevant to the plot. He is only here because a) FUCK YEAH YOUR NAME ROCKS SON!!! and b) he's PROOF that my alien face template replacement works :D :D WOOO!!
Back at home, from what seemed to be a pretty damn successful lady-hitting missing, we're confronted wth THINGS WE DIDN'T NEED TO SEE FOR A THOUSAND..!
DAMN my accidental townification of untucked things. Snail trails and liberal amounts of pubics are a DNW. Also, I'm not sure if his carpet actually matches the drapes. *examines a little too closely for a little too long*
HAI BUTTCRACK! I think at this point this could be termed being a stalker, FYI...
Though she's kind of endeared herself to me. Apart from her creepy arse stalker tendencies I kind of hope she manages to work her way into this family before the challenge is over... xD xD
I feel that these two are having these reactions for very VERY similar reasons...
So I'd checked the status on Zhu's relationship with Blondie, and inspite of all the kissing and RWAV™ Kissing, their relationship numbers were actuall only 14 and 3. FAIL!! So I thought, what the hell, lets try our luck with the matchmaker.
HELLO OLD LADY (who Zhu thought was TOTALLY hot, fyi *rolls*), here's five THOUSAND simoleons. Give us something pretty?
HOLY SHIT SUCCESS!!!!! My favourite Maxis template and the ONLY Maxis template I haven't replaced in my mixed tape of facial replacements. HELL YES!! AND WITH RED HAIR?!?! GODDAMN!! Her name was Whitney... SOMETHING I FORGET HER LAST NAME. Let's go with Jones? Oh wait, let's go with Kittenears. Cause I have a penchant for that name atm.
This is Whitney Kittenears. She'll be Zhu's bellyflopped faceplant love for the remainder of this journey. :D :D :D
Their immeadiate interaction was to let ACR take them over and have them have sex nakedly on a couch in front of God, the Welcome Wagon and Phoenix. Who got a little too close for comfort IMO. GOT A GOOD ENOUGH VIEW THERE, SMALL CAT?!?!
Butt!Crack™: You guys just keep going about your business. Just pretend I'm not here. :D :D :D :D *sparkles*
Zhu & Whitney: *flirt shamelessly with each other*
See? Stalker.
Personal Boundaries. A lesson by Whitney Kittenears. Public full frontal nudity is completely fine, as is having sex publically on a couch in the said altogether as a means of greeting is also completely acceptable behaiviour. As is liberal amounts of flirtatious PDA in other forms. Sneaking a quick smooch whilst dancing POST all of these interactions? NOT. OKAY.
But going in for a full romantic pash AFTER the dancing, totes acceptable and ecouraged even..!
Whitney stayed the night without even being invited, and their relationship was HUAGNORMOUS and so I figured, while we're onto a good thing... ENGAGEMENT!!
The camera panned around in a really sneaky stalker voyeuristic way... While they got engaged and she threw herself into Zhu's expectant arms... Is there something you want to share with us, in-game camera?
In-Game Camera: I just thought it was a private moment and we were kind of intruding.
Me: But you didn't feel that was the case when they were having sex on the couch.
In-Game Camera: Well YOU had control of me when that was going on. Is there something YOU would like to share with the group? *taps foot*
Me: ^_^;;;; Uh... ANYWAY...
N'Awwwww!! Its so touching, you guys! Especially as its in the room I planned to map out as their future kids room, just hadn't remodelled yet. *gets all gooey*
I figured while we're at it... MARRIAGE TIMES!! xD I've never actually just done a marriage like this before I don't think. I'm ALL about the throwing of the wedding party and the pretty dress and all that. But I was on a roll and EXCITED to see pig-nosed babbehs with the last name of Bajie! xD
See? Phoenix as official witness TOTES approves of this!
Also, her eyes? CAN SEE FOREVER.
Uh.. INTERESTING!?!? O_O;; I don't think Zhu has that much cash.. Maybe I motherloded it up but I don't remember doing that... I thought he had like maybe 10k on his person...
Uh, so that's how much WHITNEY had. She's marrying money in too you know..! Maybe that's it. Money + Money = The Old Way. xD
Whitney's makeover of LOVE!! EEEEEEEE!! SO PRETTY!!
*has major heartage for face template*
World? Meet Whitney Bajie. She's a romance sim, poor thing. xD And that's all I know since this is an ISBI! xD xD Again, POOR THING!!
BRING AWWWWNNNNN THE BABY!!!! BRING IT YOU TWO!!
LOL SO HARD at what is CLEARLY Whitney's O face. Zhu's prolly got all sorts of semi-sentient tentacular action down there. I've seen .... That movie that I thought was called Chinese Ghost Story but isn't about the kitsunes who want to stay in human form and are seduced by that other crazy demon dude thinger who rapes that serving girl... Or something. God I wish I could remember the name of that movie it was TOTAL lols.
ANYWAY the point is I've seen that crazy chinese movie which also features demons, Zhu could have all KINDS of things going on in his downstairs mix up.
And Whitney CLEARLY loves it.
Whitney: WOO I HAD SEX!!
Zhu: This bed certainly was value for money, not a squeak in sight and this mattress is so firm! And yet soft and supportive. I shall be writing an emphatically positive review in my blog tomorrow...
Awwwww! Whitney sent Zhu a love letter, how cute is he simultaneously kissing and nose rubbing it EEEEE!! ♥
And now it is time to meet Gigolo Maid. Housekeeper by day, irresistible escort by night. Oh yes ladies and gentlemen (actually I really think mostly gentlemen) you KNOW you want him to wine you and dine you at your expense. The moustache, it says it ALL!
OH! Unexpected love letter sender is unexpected! Especially since that dream date apparently only bought them 13 relationship points or sommat. O_O;;; REST ASSURED, the flowers are from Whitney. ^_^
WOOOO WE HAVE POP! CONFIRMATION, AFFIRMATIVE, POP IS IN THE HOUSE!! Generation two is forming inside Whitney as we speak. *applaud*
And pregnancy instantly spurs a food pass out. Which I didn't know what one was when I started recording the stats for my ISBI portion of this and so just counted all passouts as passouts... ^_^;;; ANYWAY! Welcome to a beateous vision of Whitney face planted in food. The first of MANY.
Oh sweetheart, you were so close. Just another foot or two to your six and you'd've been gravy. But on an silver lining note: FIRST SELF-WETTING OF THE CHALLENGE! :D
You get so many firsts, Whitney! DO YOU FEEL HONOURED AND AUSPICIOUS?!
Whitney: OH LAWDS I'M SOOO HUNGREEEEEEEEEEEE
Me: Well stop chugging down the drugs with your husband and go inside to eat one of the veritable cornucopia of foods he's prepared for you then, you know, just a thought.
There's gonna be a lot of that since this is an ISBI, isn't there..? >_>;; xD Oh well, she DID eventually go on inside and grabbed herself a plate of food...
...Which she then promptly decided to use as a facial mask. Cause just because she's pregnant doesn't mean she shouldn't look her best, AMIRITE?! :D :D
OMG PRIMPING. PRIIIIMPPPIIIIIIING..!!! He's my first sim EVER to autonomously primp since I put MATY'S primp fix in. And he's a pig demon. AWESOME.
*revels in primp action*
IS YOUR BERET ON RIGHT, HON?! YOU BETTER CHECK!
*glee*
HELL YES DUST POP! I swear I get some kind of crazed uber feeling of achievement every time I manage to capture a pop with dust. xD xD
Having never vomited in her first and second trimester, when Whitney BOLTED from popping into the downstairs bathroom I was SURE that's what she was going to do. But nope, she just wanted to make really REALLY sure she made it to pee this time.
Uh, Phoenix? Is that REALLY the best place in the whole house for you to sleep? There's couches everywhere, an unused bed in the current guest-bedroom and YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PET BED. But okay sure, the cold hardwood floor in the same room as your Monkeys' sex pad is totally understandable as an optimal sleeping place... Uh huh. Yeaps. Totes. And such...
I QUESTION BOTH OF YOUR SLEEPING POSITION CHOICES! SERIOUSLY! Whitney, just because the cat is doing it, doesn't mean you have to copy. Especially since you're in the same room AS YOUR BED. *flail*
Phoenix: Damn bitch comes in and steals my monkey and now she thinks she can steal my sleeping schtick. What a poser!
Whitney? Really, I gotta again question your choices. Couldn't have even made it to one of the couches like 4m to your ... Stern? You know, if she was a boat.
BUTTCRACK GIRL AND A WOLF ARE OUTSIDE AGAIN. RANDOMLY. CREEPING. LIKE CREEPERS. Seriously wtf Butt!Crack. LEAVE THEM ALONE! You're a scary scary stalker woman. IDCare that you're endearing yourself to me by doing this, GTFO and take your freakish denizen of the night with you.
HAY U GUISE!! WHITNEY MADE IT TO A BED!
And then she got out of said bed to be REALLY innapropriate about Gigolo Maid while her husband and child-replacement are squatting RIGHT in front of her.
Honestly, Whitney, you're full of unborn child. Could you keep your romance aspiration to yourself until after your baby is born atleast?!
OH SHIT!! xD I lol so hard at a pig walking off to work to sell edible pig products. xD
BIRTHING TIIIIIMES!!!! HOLY CRAP!!! ITS TIME FOR BABY YEAH!!!
I was going to leave it there and totally have a birth cliffhanger cause I NEVER have cliffhangers EVER, but I asked in chat whether or not I should do that and EIGHT PEOPLE screamed NO CLIFFHANGERS at me. And so, YOU GET TO SEE!!
Me: This sign is a liar! L-i-a-r!!!!
"Informative" Sign: Get back, witch!
Me: I'm not a witch, I'm your player. But after what you just said I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore.
Whitney's AMAZING powers of multiple births caused the cereal/mac and cheese (I CANNOT TELL WHICH IT IS!) to go off and the stove to spontaneously combust. Bet you didn't think about putting THAT in your books now DID you Mr King?
PS: I have no idea how that curtain got there under the sink, BUT I LOVE IT!!
THAT'S RIGHT WHITNEY, YOU RUN THE HELL OUT OF THERE WITH YOUR THIRD KID BALACED MAGICALLY ON YOUR ARM! Don't worry about the other newborns, they'll be fine covered in ash/with a fireman's foot through their soft infant skulls. *nodnod*
Skull crushing firemanlady is REALLY PRETTY! :D :D
AND NOW THE CHILDREN!! :D :D The firstborn was a girl, Morgan Kristina. She inherited her father's eyes but her mother's red hair and pale pale skin. RED HAIR FOR THE WIN WOOO!!
Oh, and I decided the naming scheme for this entire challenge would be the first name I got each time from Behind The Name's random name generator. Cause I've had a PASSIONATE love for that thing every since lauriethemuppet introduced me to it, but all of my legacies have had 'proper' naming schemes before xD
Second born, the 'middle child' if you will, a boy named... Wait for it... GANDALF ROSENDO! xD xD Oh yeah, you heard me, GANDALF. xD FUCK YEAH, NAME GENERATOR! I'M HAVING YOUR BABIES, AND THEY'RE ON THIS WOODEN FLOOR RIGHT NOW!
Uh, anyway, Gandalf inherited his father's skin and hair, and his mother's pretty multiple coloured eyes.
And finally, Xenocrates Antono. And before you go all Bill and Ted on me, its not Zeh-No-Crates. Its Zeh-Noh-Crah-Tees, kthx.
AND thusly we are brought to the end of this update. Tune in next time in the journey to beauty to discover THE RIDICULOUS ADORABLE OF PIG-NOSED TODDLERS!!!!
---
Current Challenge Stats:
Torch-Holders: 1
Perma-Platinum Sims: 0
Shrink Visits: 0
Social Bunny Visits: 0
Social Worker Visits: 0
Pass Outs: 4
Food Pass Outs: 0
Self-Wetting: 1
Repo-Man Visits: 0
Fires: 0
Fights: 0
Deaths: 0
Abductions: 0
Overheating/Freezing: 0