Heh.
Last night on van patrol this woman stumbled out into the road and were like whoa maybe she needs help. so she gets near the van and is freaking out and there is blood on her shirt and all down her arm, and the stain on her shirt looks like someone had cut around her breast, like very creepy murder/thriller style so we're like hop in we're going to the hospital. So I glove up and look for the source of bleeding to apply pressure and slow it down but start looking and looking and am seriously like wtf cuz it's kinda congeled and dry but also smooth which maybe makes sense cuz she had passed out and woken up to this all over her. So trying to locate the bleeding and it dawns on me that this colour is really strange and the texture is weird so I wipe it with gauze and it's smooth. Finally I'm like dude this is makeup you passed out on your makeup. Fucking so funny. we all laugh and make inappropriate jokes and drive the lady home.