Fighter Zero: The End
I took the most accurate villain personality test
created by: The Arch Villainess Gracie
That's about how it slices.
[begin Final Post 300]
It's my birthday! Happy birthday to me. I am really not much of a birthday-celebrating type, in general. It's a swell occasion, and I am sold on the idea of everyone having their own personal holiday, but I shy away from "parties" in general, and ones thrown in my honor are no exception to that.
That said, a few nice things did happen to work out so that they fell on my birthday. Such as...
and
So, you know. I'm having a nice day, so far. I've got alot of work to finish though.
Which brings me to my other topic. Seeing as how it is my birthday, that means it's been exactly one year since I started this journal. One full year. A complete, total, chronologically perfect chronicle of my 21st year. Done.
Seeing as how that's the case, I'm not gonna be sticking around here anymore. That's right. Those dreaded words... THIS IS MY FINAL ENTRY.
Like the mikebaby (also a year-long experiment) journal, I won't be deleting this. For the time being. If you're still interested in talking to me, please do not take me off your Friends List. Although I won't be writing any more entries, I will still be checking my Friends List periodically and leaving comments. Additionally, there is a possibility of a third and final year-long experiment beginning in August (when I start school again), and if you would be interested in being privvy to that adventure, you'll need to keep this journal on your Friends List. If and when the time comes, I'll make an addendum final entry here to notify everyone about the new journal. Then and only then will it be kosher to kabosh this journal off your lists.
So, here goes. It's been a long, strange year, you know? When this journal I started, I was in pretty bad shape. I was still recovering from an extremely unhealthy relationship, I'd alienated or outright fist-fought most of my friends, I'd gone completely insane and given away everything I owned and joined the United States military as some sort of bizarre escape plan from my ruined life. A series of bizarre mishaps, physical malfunctions and mental breakdowns led to early discharge, and I returned to Dallas broken, beat up, and ready to quit. That was the state of being I was in when I turned 21 and started this little journey.
I ended up getting back my high school job, moving in with my mother, and sort of eeking out a solitary existence while I recovered from everything I'd done to myself and let happen to myself. Had another slight freakout, tried living in another city, things went from bad to worse, and I came back from Philadelphia in a weird state of deja vu, because there I was, broken, beat up, ready to quit, moving back in with my mom and begging for my old job back. It was a lesson in humility and one I won't soon forget.
And here I am now. At some point down the line, I got my shit together. I can't pinpoint it exactly, but maybe if you go back and read this whole thing, maybe you can. But right now, specifically today at this moment, I feel the best I've ever felt about every single thing in my life. I have a plan. Not just a plan, but a fucking brilliant plan that I can actually pull off. I have goals and future. I hate sounding like an ITT TECH commerical, but I really feel like I'm going places now, and I couldn't be happier. I'm saving money from my job, getting ready to go back to school, I'm working on a hundered and one different projects, from my own scripts to co-writing scripts and creating universes, I'm writing on a regular basis, and I'm writing grown ass shit, the best stuff I've ever written. I never even dreamed of being this fucking good before. Today I am five times the guitar player I was a year ago, and that one I really should thank my enemies for. If it weren't for everyone who refused to believe in me, I never would have broken that barrier.
And there are so many other paths I've started on. Diet, excercise, a serious dedication to martial arts. I've begun and have been fairly successful at learning conversational Japanese. Aside from my own comics and scripts and music, I am working on a massive multimedia website that will the crown jewel of my future empire.
Thinking about everything good that's happened to me this year, nothing else really bothers me. The whole Somer/Michelle/Hilary WRATH OF KHAN incident doesn't even phase me, nor does the continuing hassle of watching Meghan's life slide further and further down the toilet. Every time I take a step forward, she takes ten back. I might as well adopt her as my legal daughter, it seems like. But you know, there was a time when it would have been worse, for me. I'd hate doing this, I'd despise being around her and not being her man, I'd secretly pine away and cry myself to sleep, and I'm so far past that now I can't even understand how or why I ever felt that way. Now I know that I just love her, and she needs my help. We'll get the right thing done for her eventually, and that doesn't mean having a negative impact on everything else I am working for in my life.
That's a pretty big accomplishment right there, you know. Over this course of this journal, I actually stopped being in love with her. That might be the root of all the good things, strangely.
And let's not forget-- the metamorphosis. The great name change of 2004 occurred deep within the pages of this second volume. I am Bruce Fjord now. Weird, huh?
And, I'm in love. Wonderfully, tragically, totally and barbeque-saucingly in love.
All of these ingredients are adding up to a glorious new stage for me. A stage that shall go unchronicled, at least until it's finished. It may sound funny, but codifying this journey into a bookended year helps me take what I've learned and truly move on. I've spent this year accomplishing and growing. Now I must become a man who reflects those lessons and lives up to those deeds. And it's important that this protean state of flux remain personal.
See ya when I'm a new man.
[/end Final Post 300]