Faded You [one-shot]
Title: Faded You
Author: fighter_of_moon
Pairing: AKame
Genre: AU; angst; romance
Disclaimer: I own lots of turtles but not this Kame :)) and Jin... well, we all know to whom he belongs now X"D
Summary: What would you choose to save - your lover or his memories with you?
A/N: I got the idea from a lovely AKame fanvid from Lasskal *o* She has done a wonderful job and since I still have a laptop (yay for kat_tun_4_ever !! :D) I decided to make a brief one-shot XD yes, not a drabble this time, it got longer lol Well, I hope you'll like both the video and one-shot ^^
Enjoy~~
Faded you
“You have to choose.”
Silence was piling up between the two man who were staring at each other with closed expressions. But their eyes were burning - one pair was devilishly amused while the other one desperately determined.
“You know what I will choose.”
The answer finally is heard and the tall man with dark hair smiled slightly. His eyes turned a faded red as he reached out his hand and grabbed a sandglass, slowly lifting it up as he was very aware of the panicked eyes that are following him.
“Very well.”
His voice echoed and the sandglass is let down on the table, upside down, the sand inside starting a new cycle just when it was just about to end. Destiny had played his hand.
“Thank you.”
The smaller man replied with a relieved and bitter voice, closing his eyes and hiding his pain away. It was okay, he had done the right thing. He had saved him. Now both of them will have a chance at a new life - separated. All that they have been, all that they were is now long forgotten.
He had chosen so.
It was a chilly night, yet he still had wanted to go out for a walk. Maybe if he went out that late he would find the reason to his unquietness, he would finally grasp the truth that was in front of his eyes and he couldn’t see or reach it in any way. Maybe the cold and starry sky would help him calm down his unsettled being, would bring him the peace he had been searching for years.
Ever since that day when he had been caught and threatened to death, something had felt different… gone missing. And he couldn’t tell what - there was inside his heart, mind, soul a blank part which he knew he won’t be able to fill it with anything. What he had lost back then, he had realized that it was irreplaceable.
And this was what frustrated him the most - that he had allowed losing or rather forgetting, something that felt irreplaceable.
Coming to a halt, he looked up and sighed audibly. Outside was getting chiller if possible and he could feel the effects of coldness taking over his body. He had never had a good health to begin with, but heck, he didn’t want to go back to his lonely apartment which - torturous - kept traces of that something he had lost. Sometimes, he would find a shirt that didn’t belong to him, some scribbled papers with someone else’s writing on it and the weird of all had been a signed baseball ball he had found crammed between two drawers - he was a soccer fan, not a baseball one.
Such things confused him and made him feel irked and snappy, knowing that he was turning into a annoying presence for his friends. And in a way he wished to say that it wasn’t his fault.
He took a seat on a frozen bench and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his winter jacket, watching how the air warmed when he breathed out. Why was it impossible to recall something he knew he had lost? What was wrong with him, why he felt so incomplete, so desolated?! What the hell happened back then and why things seemed unchanged and changed in the same time?
“Damn.” He ruffled his hair in displeasure, wanting to curl up and hide in the arms of the freezing cold.
“You will catch a cold.” A sudden voice startled him and when he turned to look back, he saw the silhouette of a young man, slightly smaller than him, but better dressed. Somehow, he felt nostalgic at his apparition and inside his chest, his heart wept with joy.
“And what do you care?” He replied harshly, not knowing why he was doing so. But apparently he had managed to make the other one chuckle. He heard snow crunch under the man’s feet as he approached him and finally took a seat next to him on the bench.
“Indeed.” He said with a sort of self-mocking voice. “I’m just a stranger, why should I care…” He then continued as he looked up at the frozen sky.
“Jin.” He introduced himself, extending his hand to the man that had so casually walked up to him and talked with him. He saw surprise in the other man’s eyes, but they soon warmed up and Jin realised that those chocolate eyes - he had seen them countless times.
His hand was grasped with warm and small fingers and a smile appeared on the stranger’s face - “Kazuya.” Jin heard him say his name and something echoed deep inside him, something that engulfed him trying to unlock forbidden memories.
“Now we’re not strangers anymore.” Jin said with a half amused, half serious voice as he pulled his hand back, turning his eyes away from those that had given his heart several jolts by now.
“Yeah, we’re not.” Kazuya seemed to mumble once again for him, making Jin look at him from the corner of his eyes.
He looked lost, confused and longing, Jin concluded as he studied the profile of Kazuya. He was a young and handsome man, his clothes were definitely a designer’s trademark - then what made him look so miserable, so unhappy? He looked like he had lost everything that once held a meaning for him and Jin couldn’t help but to compare their situations. He was the same, feeling like he had lost something so meaningful that his life was broken. He was broken.
“Jin.” His name rolled off Kazuya’s lips and there was a familiar ring to it, as he had heard it countless times in different situations. But it was a faded echo. He and Kazuya locked eyes and stood like that for a few moments, silent.
“What?” Jin asked impatiently, licking his cold lips and noticing a certain spark in the other man’s eyes.
“Nothing.” Kazuya smiled and turned to look at the sky again, a sad smile tugging at his moistured lips.
“So you were just trying my name?” Jin continued, his tone slightly irritated. “That’s not funny, you know.” He then pouted as he heard Kazuya chuckle again, he felt like the man beside him knew something and he didn’t. And he couldn’t shake off this feeling of knowing him from somewhere. “Have we met before?” Jin asked drawing Kazuya’s attention on him, again noticing how his eyes changed to a darker color.
The corners of Kazuya’s lips twitched a little as in an attempt to smile. “No.” He replied slowly as if the word was forced out of his mouth. “We’ve just met, we’re strangers, remember?” He continued and appeared to be teasing Jin if not for the sad edge in his voice.
“I feel like I know you.” Jin suddenly whispered, his eyes glued to his entwined fingers as they were cold and he wanted to warm them. “When you appeared, you scared me, but then… I felt at ease, comfortable.” He continued, not understanding why he was telling such things to a stranger, but to him… Kazuya felt like no stranger, he felt like home.
The younger man held his breath as he listened to Jin talk, unable to put a stop to the hope that was sprouting inside his heart, unable to slow down these overflowing emotions he had held suppressed for so many years. But now… now that he was able to see and talk with Jin again, he felt that one way or another he had to let them out - a touch, a word, anything.
But he couldn’t. Not when Jin looked so confused, so desperate and not understanding what was happening or why was Kazuya feeling so familiar. He couldn’t just break down the only person he loved and cared enough to choose erasing himself from his memories.
“Maybe we met somewhere in another life.” Kazuya chose to say and the hopeful look Jin had thrown him turned to a desolated one. He stretched his hand to give a light pat on Jin’s shoulder. “You’re trying to remember something?” He asked quietly but he was sure that Jin heard him, he could feel it under his palm how his body had tensed.
In the end, Jin relaxed and sighed. “There’s somethimg missing. Something that made my life at some point and now it’s gone.” He said with a broken voice, biting his lower lip and looking up at the sky once again. It seemed so vast, so glittering but he knew that behind all that glitter there was darkness that the whole Earth couldn’t fill it. Just like he himself couldn’t fill the blank inside of him. “And the worst part is…” He continued and turned to look at Kazuya with a lopsided and sad smile. “…I don’t know what I’m missing.”
Me.
Us.
You’re missing me, us being together.
Kazuya thought as he couldn’t say this out loud without hurting Jin, without scaring and pushing him further away. It has been four painful years in which he had kept his distance from Jin, watching him from afar and not getting closer to him. He had grown afraid that Jin will reject him if he got closer, that if he were to look in the eyes he had come to love so much, he will see nothing but fake and polite interest. And he didn’t want to find out that he had been that easily forgotten, that one simple twist of fate and all of their precious memories could be taken away from them.
But they hadn’t, Kazuya realized as he was standing here next to Jin, listening to his words and feeling his pain. They hadn’t been erased because such feelings have seeped into their beings too deep, they were carved and there was no power able to completely make them disappear.
Kazuya smiled and on an whim, he brushed his fingers over Jin’s cold cheek, slightly surprising the other one, but he was glad that the older man didn’t pull away. “You will find out.” He said with a low voice, casting a spell over Jin’s heart who started beating furiously since the first contact of Kazuya’s fingers with his skin. It was so familiar that he felt like something was breaking and building inside of him without him able to do anything. “Time will reveal what you’re missing.” He continued on a mysterious tone and with one last brush over that smooth and cold cheek, he pulled his hand back, looking regretful and longing in the same time.
With a sigh, Kazuya stood up, his hands fisted in his pockets as he stared up at the sky. There were millions stars out there, scattered in the silent darkness that was universe. There were millions of possibilities that his star and Jin’s star could meet again on this planet called Earth. And they could be a supernova again - together.
They just had to hold on and to believe.
Without another word, he turned his back on Jin and was just about to go on further when Jin’s low and hoarse voice stopped him. He had been waiting, he had known that Jin will call out to him in the end.
“You're the one I'm forgetting, the one I'm missing, no?” Jin asked, making Kazuya’s heart stop. He had wished for him to know, but he hadn’t expected to have him realize this quick. And to hear that Jin did miss him made him almost weep with joy and pain. Why did things have to go that way between them? Why did Jin get caught in that crossfire, why he had been the one threatened, why, why, why? Such questions were futile now, destiny was a cruel thing. That's why he chose not to answer, unaware of the storm that was inside Jin’s heart and mind. If Kazuya was the one tha he had forgotten, the one his being was missing then why hasn’t he come after him? Why didn’t he show himself up till now? Why did he torture him leaving him in the darkness, taking the light from his eyes?
There were contradicting feelings inside of him - he felt anger and hope entwining together and crushing his beating heart. And when Kazuya still didn’t answer him, he was feeling like exploding. Was it that hard to answer? What had happened back then? Had he done something wrong? Was his fault that things have gone this way?
Who was Kazuya and what meaning did he hold for him?
“Am I going to see you again?” Jin asked with a sort of desperate and pleading voice. He knew that he didn’t have the right to get angry at Kazuya because he has been the first to forget about them, he had been the one to allow his memories with him fade. So he just had to find him, he just needed to reach out his hand and grabs Kazuya’s.
“Yes.” The young man answered finally and there was this strong hope budding in Jin’s soul as he looked at Kazuya’s back disappearing in the chilly and white night.
Last time, destiny had won over him.
This time, he will defeat destiny.
Author: fighter_of_moon
Pairing: AKame
Genre: AU; angst; romance
Disclaimer: I own lots of turtles but not this Kame :)) and Jin... well, we all know to whom he belongs now X"D
Summary: What would you choose to save - your lover or his memories with you?
A/N: I got the idea from a lovely AKame fanvid from Lasskal *o* She has done a wonderful job and since I still have a laptop (yay for kat_tun_4_ever !! :D) I decided to make a brief one-shot XD yes, not a drabble this time, it got longer lol Well, I hope you'll like both the video and one-shot ^^
Enjoy~~
Faded you
“You have to choose.”
Silence was piling up between the two man who were staring at each other with closed expressions. But their eyes were burning - one pair was devilishly amused while the other one desperately determined.
“You know what I will choose.”
The answer finally is heard and the tall man with dark hair smiled slightly. His eyes turned a faded red as he reached out his hand and grabbed a sandglass, slowly lifting it up as he was very aware of the panicked eyes that are following him.
“Very well.”
His voice echoed and the sandglass is let down on the table, upside down, the sand inside starting a new cycle just when it was just about to end. Destiny had played his hand.
“Thank you.”
The smaller man replied with a relieved and bitter voice, closing his eyes and hiding his pain away. It was okay, he had done the right thing. He had saved him. Now both of them will have a chance at a new life - separated. All that they have been, all that they were is now long forgotten.
He had chosen so.
It was a chilly night, yet he still had wanted to go out for a walk. Maybe if he went out that late he would find the reason to his unquietness, he would finally grasp the truth that was in front of his eyes and he couldn’t see or reach it in any way. Maybe the cold and starry sky would help him calm down his unsettled being, would bring him the peace he had been searching for years.
Ever since that day when he had been caught and threatened to death, something had felt different… gone missing. And he couldn’t tell what - there was inside his heart, mind, soul a blank part which he knew he won’t be able to fill it with anything. What he had lost back then, he had realized that it was irreplaceable.
And this was what frustrated him the most - that he had allowed losing or rather forgetting, something that felt irreplaceable.
Coming to a halt, he looked up and sighed audibly. Outside was getting chiller if possible and he could feel the effects of coldness taking over his body. He had never had a good health to begin with, but heck, he didn’t want to go back to his lonely apartment which - torturous - kept traces of that something he had lost. Sometimes, he would find a shirt that didn’t belong to him, some scribbled papers with someone else’s writing on it and the weird of all had been a signed baseball ball he had found crammed between two drawers - he was a soccer fan, not a baseball one.
Such things confused him and made him feel irked and snappy, knowing that he was turning into a annoying presence for his friends. And in a way he wished to say that it wasn’t his fault.
He took a seat on a frozen bench and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his winter jacket, watching how the air warmed when he breathed out. Why was it impossible to recall something he knew he had lost? What was wrong with him, why he felt so incomplete, so desolated?! What the hell happened back then and why things seemed unchanged and changed in the same time?
“Damn.” He ruffled his hair in displeasure, wanting to curl up and hide in the arms of the freezing cold.
“You will catch a cold.” A sudden voice startled him and when he turned to look back, he saw the silhouette of a young man, slightly smaller than him, but better dressed. Somehow, he felt nostalgic at his apparition and inside his chest, his heart wept with joy.
“And what do you care?” He replied harshly, not knowing why he was doing so. But apparently he had managed to make the other one chuckle. He heard snow crunch under the man’s feet as he approached him and finally took a seat next to him on the bench.
“Indeed.” He said with a sort of self-mocking voice. “I’m just a stranger, why should I care…” He then continued as he looked up at the frozen sky.
“Jin.” He introduced himself, extending his hand to the man that had so casually walked up to him and talked with him. He saw surprise in the other man’s eyes, but they soon warmed up and Jin realised that those chocolate eyes - he had seen them countless times.
His hand was grasped with warm and small fingers and a smile appeared on the stranger’s face - “Kazuya.” Jin heard him say his name and something echoed deep inside him, something that engulfed him trying to unlock forbidden memories.
“Now we’re not strangers anymore.” Jin said with a half amused, half serious voice as he pulled his hand back, turning his eyes away from those that had given his heart several jolts by now.
“Yeah, we’re not.” Kazuya seemed to mumble once again for him, making Jin look at him from the corner of his eyes.
He looked lost, confused and longing, Jin concluded as he studied the profile of Kazuya. He was a young and handsome man, his clothes were definitely a designer’s trademark - then what made him look so miserable, so unhappy? He looked like he had lost everything that once held a meaning for him and Jin couldn’t help but to compare their situations. He was the same, feeling like he had lost something so meaningful that his life was broken. He was broken.
“Jin.” His name rolled off Kazuya’s lips and there was a familiar ring to it, as he had heard it countless times in different situations. But it was a faded echo. He and Kazuya locked eyes and stood like that for a few moments, silent.
“What?” Jin asked impatiently, licking his cold lips and noticing a certain spark in the other man’s eyes.
“Nothing.” Kazuya smiled and turned to look at the sky again, a sad smile tugging at his moistured lips.
“So you were just trying my name?” Jin continued, his tone slightly irritated. “That’s not funny, you know.” He then pouted as he heard Kazuya chuckle again, he felt like the man beside him knew something and he didn’t. And he couldn’t shake off this feeling of knowing him from somewhere. “Have we met before?” Jin asked drawing Kazuya’s attention on him, again noticing how his eyes changed to a darker color.
The corners of Kazuya’s lips twitched a little as in an attempt to smile. “No.” He replied slowly as if the word was forced out of his mouth. “We’ve just met, we’re strangers, remember?” He continued and appeared to be teasing Jin if not for the sad edge in his voice.
“I feel like I know you.” Jin suddenly whispered, his eyes glued to his entwined fingers as they were cold and he wanted to warm them. “When you appeared, you scared me, but then… I felt at ease, comfortable.” He continued, not understanding why he was telling such things to a stranger, but to him… Kazuya felt like no stranger, he felt like home.
The younger man held his breath as he listened to Jin talk, unable to put a stop to the hope that was sprouting inside his heart, unable to slow down these overflowing emotions he had held suppressed for so many years. But now… now that he was able to see and talk with Jin again, he felt that one way or another he had to let them out - a touch, a word, anything.
But he couldn’t. Not when Jin looked so confused, so desperate and not understanding what was happening or why was Kazuya feeling so familiar. He couldn’t just break down the only person he loved and cared enough to choose erasing himself from his memories.
“Maybe we met somewhere in another life.” Kazuya chose to say and the hopeful look Jin had thrown him turned to a desolated one. He stretched his hand to give a light pat on Jin’s shoulder. “You’re trying to remember something?” He asked quietly but he was sure that Jin heard him, he could feel it under his palm how his body had tensed.
In the end, Jin relaxed and sighed. “There’s somethimg missing. Something that made my life at some point and now it’s gone.” He said with a broken voice, biting his lower lip and looking up at the sky once again. It seemed so vast, so glittering but he knew that behind all that glitter there was darkness that the whole Earth couldn’t fill it. Just like he himself couldn’t fill the blank inside of him. “And the worst part is…” He continued and turned to look at Kazuya with a lopsided and sad smile. “…I don’t know what I’m missing.”
Me.
Us.
You’re missing me, us being together.
Kazuya thought as he couldn’t say this out loud without hurting Jin, without scaring and pushing him further away. It has been four painful years in which he had kept his distance from Jin, watching him from afar and not getting closer to him. He had grown afraid that Jin will reject him if he got closer, that if he were to look in the eyes he had come to love so much, he will see nothing but fake and polite interest. And he didn’t want to find out that he had been that easily forgotten, that one simple twist of fate and all of their precious memories could be taken away from them.
But they hadn’t, Kazuya realized as he was standing here next to Jin, listening to his words and feeling his pain. They hadn’t been erased because such feelings have seeped into their beings too deep, they were carved and there was no power able to completely make them disappear.
Kazuya smiled and on an whim, he brushed his fingers over Jin’s cold cheek, slightly surprising the other one, but he was glad that the older man didn’t pull away. “You will find out.” He said with a low voice, casting a spell over Jin’s heart who started beating furiously since the first contact of Kazuya’s fingers with his skin. It was so familiar that he felt like something was breaking and building inside of him without him able to do anything. “Time will reveal what you’re missing.” He continued on a mysterious tone and with one last brush over that smooth and cold cheek, he pulled his hand back, looking regretful and longing in the same time.
With a sigh, Kazuya stood up, his hands fisted in his pockets as he stared up at the sky. There were millions stars out there, scattered in the silent darkness that was universe. There were millions of possibilities that his star and Jin’s star could meet again on this planet called Earth. And they could be a supernova again - together.
They just had to hold on and to believe.
Without another word, he turned his back on Jin and was just about to go on further when Jin’s low and hoarse voice stopped him. He had been waiting, he had known that Jin will call out to him in the end.
“You're the one I'm forgetting, the one I'm missing, no?” Jin asked, making Kazuya’s heart stop. He had wished for him to know, but he hadn’t expected to have him realize this quick. And to hear that Jin did miss him made him almost weep with joy and pain. Why did things have to go that way between them? Why did Jin get caught in that crossfire, why he had been the one threatened, why, why, why? Such questions were futile now, destiny was a cruel thing. That's why he chose not to answer, unaware of the storm that was inside Jin’s heart and mind. If Kazuya was the one tha he had forgotten, the one his being was missing then why hasn’t he come after him? Why didn’t he show himself up till now? Why did he torture him leaving him in the darkness, taking the light from his eyes?
There were contradicting feelings inside of him - he felt anger and hope entwining together and crushing his beating heart. And when Kazuya still didn’t answer him, he was feeling like exploding. Was it that hard to answer? What had happened back then? Had he done something wrong? Was his fault that things have gone this way?
Who was Kazuya and what meaning did he hold for him?
“Am I going to see you again?” Jin asked with a sort of desperate and pleading voice. He knew that he didn’t have the right to get angry at Kazuya because he has been the first to forget about them, he had been the one to allow his memories with him fade. So he just had to find him, he just needed to reach out his hand and grabs Kazuya’s.
“Yes.” The young man answered finally and there was this strong hope budding in Jin’s soul as he looked at Kazuya’s back disappearing in the chilly and white night.
Last time, destiny had won over him.
This time, he will defeat destiny.