Walmart
I hate wal-mart.
Wait.
That's a lie.
I hate wal-mart when it's late at night and I've just been woken up to go buy school supplies at the last minute and it's crowded with other last minute people and there's this annoying little beep noise coming from somewhere in the ceiling and I can't find a damn thing 'cause all the smart people bought all the good stuff earlier like any smart person would but I'm here with all my fellow idiots and this is all I have to work with and I'm still tired and people are bumping into me and I'm bumping into people and I'm constantly saying,"excuse me, excuse me", to the point where I'm entertaining fantasies of blowing the whole place sky high and I don't have my cell phone so when my granny wanders off with the basket and I'm looking around like some little lost five-year-old who isn't sad and scared so much as pissed off I can't call her so I have to wander around with an armful of crap until I find her in the food section and then dump my crap in and I have to shuffle through the stupid supplies lists to make sure I have everything and looking at them just pisses me off because who the hell do they think we are to be carrying all this crap everyday and sure I could've made this easier on myself by compiling all my lists but that so doesn't fit in with my usual behavior of laziness and procrastination so of course I didn't and I'm even more tired and so to stay awake I go browsing through the too bright hell hole hoping to stumble upon a soft surface to nap on and of course I don't.
But something awesome happens.
I stumble into the book aisle which I was too pissed off to glance at earlier and it's mostly filled with twilight crap but way on the end is a little nugget of gold. I pick it up and run my hands over it with an almost perverse glee. In my hands is Eoin Colfer's "The Atlantis Complex". It's the newest book and I've been dying to read it but it's still in hardback and cost fifteen bucks that I don't have so it is denied to me but I'm not too upset 'cause my friend has it and I can borrow it from her even though I'd love to own a copy myself but it just ain't meant to be so I move on to the romance novels which are pretty good but aren't really appealing enough to beg my gran to buy for me and I'm getting ready to go back to where my gran is or rather isn't 'cause I know she wont be where I left her.
That wasn't the awesome part though.
The awesome part is when my bibliophilic tendencies steer me toward a shelf of un-looked-through books and I can't contain my curiosity and it's a good thing I didn't because I have just found the blindingly bright diamond in the pile of crap that is this last minute wal-mart visit.
I snatched that book down so fast I gave the shelf a paper cut.
The book in my hand that I was definitely staring at in perverse glee was the next book in a series of paranormal romances written by Kresly Cole. I had been lusting after the book since I had finished the one before it and finally it was in my hands and priced at a very reasonable $5.97. I held "Kiss of a Demon King" in my hands knowing that I'd very happily give up the money I had been saving up for such an occasion to own it.
The rest of the trip consists of a search for a lost granny, a agonizingly long wait in the check out line, loading the crap, the drive home, unloading the crap, and dividing it up.
I can usually tolerate trips to wal-mart just so long as that doesn't happen.
Wait.
That's a lie.
I hate wal-mart when it's late at night and I've just been woken up to go buy school supplies at the last minute and it's crowded with other last minute people and there's this annoying little beep noise coming from somewhere in the ceiling and I can't find a damn thing 'cause all the smart people bought all the good stuff earlier like any smart person would but I'm here with all my fellow idiots and this is all I have to work with and I'm still tired and people are bumping into me and I'm bumping into people and I'm constantly saying,"excuse me, excuse me", to the point where I'm entertaining fantasies of blowing the whole place sky high and I don't have my cell phone so when my granny wanders off with the basket and I'm looking around like some little lost five-year-old who isn't sad and scared so much as pissed off I can't call her so I have to wander around with an armful of crap until I find her in the food section and then dump my crap in and I have to shuffle through the stupid supplies lists to make sure I have everything and looking at them just pisses me off because who the hell do they think we are to be carrying all this crap everyday and sure I could've made this easier on myself by compiling all my lists but that so doesn't fit in with my usual behavior of laziness and procrastination so of course I didn't and I'm even more tired and so to stay awake I go browsing through the too bright hell hole hoping to stumble upon a soft surface to nap on and of course I don't.
But something awesome happens.
I stumble into the book aisle which I was too pissed off to glance at earlier and it's mostly filled with twilight crap but way on the end is a little nugget of gold. I pick it up and run my hands over it with an almost perverse glee. In my hands is Eoin Colfer's "The Atlantis Complex". It's the newest book and I've been dying to read it but it's still in hardback and cost fifteen bucks that I don't have so it is denied to me but I'm not too upset 'cause my friend has it and I can borrow it from her even though I'd love to own a copy myself but it just ain't meant to be so I move on to the romance novels which are pretty good but aren't really appealing enough to beg my gran to buy for me and I'm getting ready to go back to where my gran is or rather isn't 'cause I know she wont be where I left her.
That wasn't the awesome part though.
The awesome part is when my bibliophilic tendencies steer me toward a shelf of un-looked-through books and I can't contain my curiosity and it's a good thing I didn't because I have just found the blindingly bright diamond in the pile of crap that is this last minute wal-mart visit.
I snatched that book down so fast I gave the shelf a paper cut.
The book in my hand that I was definitely staring at in perverse glee was the next book in a series of paranormal romances written by Kresly Cole. I had been lusting after the book since I had finished the one before it and finally it was in my hands and priced at a very reasonable $5.97. I held "Kiss of a Demon King" in my hands knowing that I'd very happily give up the money I had been saving up for such an occasion to own it.
The rest of the trip consists of a search for a lost granny, a agonizingly long wait in the check out line, loading the crap, the drive home, unloading the crap, and dividing it up.
I can usually tolerate trips to wal-mart just so long as that doesn't happen.