I've only known you for a couple weeks now, but I know people who are better off at conservatories and I know people who are better off at Earlham, and you are a person who is better off at Earlham. At a conservatory you will be given more pressure to develop musically but NOT to develop as a person, and some people need that pressure to perform at the level they want to, but if you can kick up the discipline to keep improving on your own and with your lessons and in the ensembles you can be part of as a member of the Earlham community, you will become a better human being by staying at Earlham, and your music will reflect that.
I've had to make this same decision a couple times. It's probably much more clear-cut for me to make it than it is for you, since one of the main reasons I came to Earlham was for Choir, and being in Choir makes me a better person AND a better musician every single day of the year, and I know I won't find that at a conservatory. But I see you here, involved in stuff like Food Not Bombs and having animated conversations with me about white privilege, and...I just don't feel like a conservatory would be the place where you'd get to keep growing as a person and doing stuff like that. And whereas some people would go there and take their privilege with them and end up big old snobs, I suspect you'd end up in a huge inner conflict about what you're using your privilege very quickly with a whole lot of people like that around you, and you just won't be happy with yourself, and your music will end up suffering as a result.
I'm not sure if that made sense, but that's the best "advice" I can give based on my reading of your circumstances in the context of how I know you. I'll still respect you just as much if you decide to go to a conservatory, and I'll probably even come visit you so we can jam. :)
I've only known you for a couple weeks now, but I know people who are better off at conservatories and I know people who are better off at Earlham, and you are a person who is better off at Earlham. At a conservatory you will be given more pressure to develop musically but NOT to develop as a person, and some people need that pressure to perform at the level they want to, but if you can kick up the discipline to keep improving on your own and with your lessons and in the ensembles you can be part of as a member of the Earlham community, you will become a better human being by staying at Earlham, and your music will reflect that.
I've had to make this same decision a couple times. It's probably much more clear-cut for me to make it than it is for you, since one of the main reasons I came to Earlham was for Choir, and being in Choir makes me a better person AND a better musician every single day of the year, and I know I won't find that at a conservatory. But I see you here, involved in stuff like Food Not Bombs and having animated conversations with me about white privilege, and...I just don't feel like a conservatory would be the place where you'd get to keep growing as a person and doing stuff like that. And whereas some people would go there and take their privilege with them and end up big old snobs, I suspect you'd end up in a huge inner conflict about what you're using your privilege very quickly with a whole lot of people like that around you, and you just won't be happy with yourself, and your music will end up suffering as a result.
I'm not sure if that made sense, but that's the best "advice" I can give based on my reading of your circumstances in the context of how I know you. I'll still respect you just as much if you decide to go to a conservatory, and I'll probably even come visit you so we can jam. :)
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