Feigal Family Holiday Award Show
So this year's Feigal Family Christmas Specta-stravaganza begins with the award for
MOST BLATANTLY UNNECESSARY COMMENTARY: Mama Feigs! Ellen, you found it necessary to say "oooh! a YELLOW shirt! you've always wanted one of those!" when my dad received, yes, a yellow shirt.
GIFT THE ENTIRE FAMILY WILL REGRET: The "Jello Cookbook"! Providing noxious bile and even worse food for years to come.
MOST NEEDING OF A SHOVEL TO THE FACE: Papa Feigs! Dad, it was classic when I unwrapped "La Cage aux Folles" and "The King of Hearts", happy that you had remembered I like classic comedies and foreign flicks, and you just had to add "And they're in French! Don't watch them with subtitles, see how far your education has gotten you. Can you even understand it? I don't know how you get As in that class. Oh yeah, go finish your college applications as soon as we're done."
Beautiful. Let me get the spade...
and finally
FAMILY MEMBER I MOST APPRECIATE THIS YEAR: Thugmaster Flex! Bro, you have no idea what I like, but you did good this year. Thanks for not pissing me off in any way, I might be clinging to your leg when you try to go back to school.
Merry Christmas
MOST BLATANTLY UNNECESSARY COMMENTARY: Mama Feigs! Ellen, you found it necessary to say "oooh! a YELLOW shirt! you've always wanted one of those!" when my dad received, yes, a yellow shirt.
GIFT THE ENTIRE FAMILY WILL REGRET: The "Jello Cookbook"! Providing noxious bile and even worse food for years to come.
MOST NEEDING OF A SHOVEL TO THE FACE: Papa Feigs! Dad, it was classic when I unwrapped "La Cage aux Folles" and "The King of Hearts", happy that you had remembered I like classic comedies and foreign flicks, and you just had to add "And they're in French! Don't watch them with subtitles, see how far your education has gotten you. Can you even understand it? I don't know how you get As in that class. Oh yeah, go finish your college applications as soon as we're done."
Beautiful. Let me get the spade...
and finally
FAMILY MEMBER I MOST APPRECIATE THIS YEAR: Thugmaster Flex! Bro, you have no idea what I like, but you did good this year. Thanks for not pissing me off in any way, I might be clinging to your leg when you try to go back to school.
Merry Christmas