AAAAAUGHH!!!!
Ok, so here's the deal.
About a month ago, I was at work looking after the girls. We were all playing outside when this van pulled up and two older women came out. One was holding some pamphlets and my JesusRadar beeped the second I saw them. One woman walked up to me and told me that she was looking for Tanya. I told her she wasn't home, and she told me to give her her "monthly books" and say hello. Then she asked me the Golden Question. "Have you been saved?"
-_-
I told her politely that no, I hadn't. She preached about God for about a half hour and then asked me for my phone number. The Korean girls and Kieara were all standing there looking expectantly at me. I didn't want to sound rude so I gave it to her, thinking; "Oh sweet Jesus, here we go."
That was over a month ago. The conniving bitch is a sneaky one; she let me get comfortable.
So I'm sitting here today, eating chocolate and watching Family Guy while whacking off (you know, all the Satantic things in life) when the phone rings. It was the same lady. She said; "Hi Dana, I'm not sure if you remember me but I met you at Tanya's sometime around March. I was really hoping you'd like to meet me."
Record skips and the microphone drops.
"Eh....WTF?" Dana is thinking immediately. A 40-something woman who has only met me briefly once before calls me up out of nowhere wanting to meet me? Isn't that a tad bit creepy? Only a religious person would be that pushy.
So, my infamous 'Too Nice' gene kicked it's way out my ass and said quietly into the phone; "Sure, that would be nice."
Sometimes I hate myself. I am so fucking nice. It's like I'm incapable of being mean to people. I can't say NO to anyone, for almost anything. It's really quite fucking annoying sometimes.
I gave her my address! She's coming here on Saturday at 1:00 pm! She knows where I live! Now she'll be coming here all the time, knocking on my door, trying to save me.
So then Jay comes in the door and asks me why I looked so distraught and/or annoyed.
"Some morman beyatch is trying to push her religion on me. She wants to meet me on Saturday, and I couldn't say no 'cause I'm too damn nice."
"WTF!? Where's the phone number!"
So Jay stomps over to the phone, grabs it, dials the number.
Jay: "Excuse me, did somebody call her 10 minutes ago about Morman stuff?"
Woman: "No!" <---- Lie.
Jay: "Did someboday call here looking for a Dana Kendall, then?"
Woman: ".......yes."
Jay: "Well, she's just to polite to say no, but she doesn't want to meet you."
Woman: "She said she wanted to meet me!" <--- More Lies.
Jay: "No she doesn't! She just gave you our address and said yes because she's too nice! She doesn't believe in God. So I'd appreciate it if you'd fuck off and leave us alone. If you come here on Saturday I'll phone somebody to remove you from the premesis."
Woman: "There's no need for that language!"
Jay: "Well this pisses me off! You people are so pushy and we don't want you coming here, for fucks sake."
Woman: "I'm just trying to give her a chance at Everlasting Life!!!"
(Insert Dana giggling maniacally in the background)
Jay: "Well she doesn't want it, so I'm asking you one more time to fuck off."
*click*
Oh my god. I didn't know my insanely kind, patient boyfriend was capable of snapping. XD
My first two options were:
#1. Calling her back and saying; "Sorry, but my Python recently escaped from his cage and I can't seem to find him anywhere. I don't want any strangers in the house while he's slithering amuck since he hasn't eaten for four weeks."
#2. Answering the door on Saturday with a bloody pentagram smeared on my naked chest, holding Ollie in one hand and a knife in the other.
About a month ago, I was at work looking after the girls. We were all playing outside when this van pulled up and two older women came out. One was holding some pamphlets and my JesusRadar beeped the second I saw them. One woman walked up to me and told me that she was looking for Tanya. I told her she wasn't home, and she told me to give her her "monthly books" and say hello. Then she asked me the Golden Question. "Have you been saved?"
-_-
I told her politely that no, I hadn't. She preached about God for about a half hour and then asked me for my phone number. The Korean girls and Kieara were all standing there looking expectantly at me. I didn't want to sound rude so I gave it to her, thinking; "Oh sweet Jesus, here we go."
That was over a month ago. The conniving bitch is a sneaky one; she let me get comfortable.
So I'm sitting here today, eating chocolate and watching Family Guy while whacking off (you know, all the Satantic things in life) when the phone rings. It was the same lady. She said; "Hi Dana, I'm not sure if you remember me but I met you at Tanya's sometime around March. I was really hoping you'd like to meet me."
Record skips and the microphone drops.
"Eh....WTF?" Dana is thinking immediately. A 40-something woman who has only met me briefly once before calls me up out of nowhere wanting to meet me? Isn't that a tad bit creepy? Only a religious person would be that pushy.
So, my infamous 'Too Nice' gene kicked it's way out my ass and said quietly into the phone; "Sure, that would be nice."
Sometimes I hate myself. I am so fucking nice. It's like I'm incapable of being mean to people. I can't say NO to anyone, for almost anything. It's really quite fucking annoying sometimes.
I gave her my address! She's coming here on Saturday at 1:00 pm! She knows where I live! Now she'll be coming here all the time, knocking on my door, trying to save me.
So then Jay comes in the door and asks me why I looked so distraught and/or annoyed.
"Some morman beyatch is trying to push her religion on me. She wants to meet me on Saturday, and I couldn't say no 'cause I'm too damn nice."
"WTF!? Where's the phone number!"
So Jay stomps over to the phone, grabs it, dials the number.
Jay: "Excuse me, did somebody call her 10 minutes ago about Morman stuff?"
Woman: "No!" <---- Lie.
Jay: "Did someboday call here looking for a Dana Kendall, then?"
Woman: ".......yes."
Jay: "Well, she's just to polite to say no, but she doesn't want to meet you."
Woman: "She said she wanted to meet me!" <--- More Lies.
Jay: "No she doesn't! She just gave you our address and said yes because she's too nice! She doesn't believe in God. So I'd appreciate it if you'd fuck off and leave us alone. If you come here on Saturday I'll phone somebody to remove you from the premesis."
Woman: "There's no need for that language!"
Jay: "Well this pisses me off! You people are so pushy and we don't want you coming here, for fucks sake."
Woman: "I'm just trying to give her a chance at Everlasting Life!!!"
(Insert Dana giggling maniacally in the background)
Jay: "Well she doesn't want it, so I'm asking you one more time to fuck off."
*click*
Oh my god. I didn't know my insanely kind, patient boyfriend was capable of snapping. XD
My first two options were:
#1. Calling her back and saying; "Sorry, but my Python recently escaped from his cage and I can't seem to find him anywhere. I don't want any strangers in the house while he's slithering amuck since he hasn't eaten for four weeks."
#2. Answering the door on Saturday with a bloody pentagram smeared on my naked chest, holding Ollie in one hand and a knife in the other.