(no subject)
Title: Spiders
Characters: Hankyung, Eeteuk
Genre: err... it's dark?
Rating: R
Summary: In which saying 'sorry' won't ever be enough.
There are always walls around him. This time, the walls are looming, and melting and crumbling and terrifying as they break into thousands of pieces. He huddles on his bed, both hands covering his ears, eyes shut tight and he's screaming and screaming for everything to stop.
A spider crawls from the bottom of his bed towards where he's sitting. He watches it, mesmerized. And suddenly, everything stills. Eyes trained solely on the insect, he watches it as if possessed. Slowly, his hand reaches for it. It scurries away from his hand, crawls away from him before his hand gets too close. He doesn't stop trying, and the spider doesn't stop scurrying away; as if it can see the mad glint dangerously dancing within his eyes, as if it can see the maniacal smile adorning his face, as if it can feel his intentions, feels his body tremble in barely concealed excitement. He runs out of patience soon, tired of playing. With a frown, he swipes it and closes his hand around the spider. He feels it scurry frantically inside the cavity of his palm, trying to crawl its way to escape. Opening his hand, he picks it using his forefinger and thumb and, watching in glee, grinds it in between his fingers. He giggles when liquid oozes out, laughs when it twitches and tries to break free. He pulls each leg violently, the madness in his eyes growing every time. Eventually, the spider stops moving.
"How boring," he says, as he flicks the thing away.
He frowns at the small, mangled body of the insect where it landed. And when he does, he notices that light is streaming from under his door. He frowns, confused.
He didn't know he had a door there.
He climbs out of his bed, curious. With his bare feet, he walks, hands reaching out to the doorknob he knows hadn't existed before. Eyes wide, eerie smile plastered on his face, he turns it. When he pushes the door open, he is greeted by a blinding light; he shifts his head, eyes turning to slits from the brightness. Beginning to get accustomed to the light, he opens his eyes slowly.
He blinks. And finds himself in another room.
Delighted, he giggles, smile wider, more maniacal than before.
There are huge, silver cabinets by the walls of the room. Some of them are closed, others are open and had bodies in them. A hand is sticking out in one, a head is stuck out of a cabinet to his left. In front of him, there are silver tables. Some of them are bare, others had pale, sometimes deformed, bodies on them. He takes in the sight in morbid fascination, more amused and excited than terrified like he should be.
He walks further in, towards the end of the bright, white room filled with silver cabinets and sometimes deformed, pale bodies. A table had been pushed at the wall, a silver one, with one half of a body cut in the middle, exposing its ribs, its heart and lungs and seared flesh. He moves towards it, eyes focused with morbid curiosity. With his smile still in place, he walks over it, hands already reaching out to touch it. A noise distracts him for a second, and he takes his eyes away from the body to see what caused the sound. Finding nothing wrong, he turns back to the body and gasps when he notices that one of its eyes are open.
Smile growing wider, he nods curtly, and says, "You had it pretty tough, didn't you?"
Around him, noises begin to arise. He turns and sees the bodies in the room shake and stir. Others that had eyes on them had them opened. Others, that only the had lower half of its body left, are twitching and moving. He laughs as he sees, unfazed. Pale, mangled, disemboweled bodies closing in towards him, he laughs louder, welcoming them. He laughs, and he laughs and he laughs and laughs. When they close in around him, everything turns black.
The moment he opens his eyes, he realizes he's lying on his bed. And that there are people hovering over him. One of them is poking his arm with a syringe. Another is taking notes on a clipboard. And yet another is checking his heartbeat with a stethoscope. All of them are wearing white. None of them notice he is awake.
When they finish and break apart, he sees another one by the door, talking with two people who aren't wearing white. They are looking at him with a strange expression on their faces, as if they pity him being there.
"Is he going to be all right?" one of them, the smaller one, asks.
The one in white shakes her head, "Eventually, with help, he should be. Right now, none of us know."
"What do you mean, 'none of you knows'?! Hyung's been in here for months! And for the times we've been visiting, he seems to be getting worse! Are you even trying to help him?!"
"Kangin," the smaller one says, trying to soothe the bigger, bulkier man, "Remember, we're at fault, too. We-we didn't notice... If only we noticed earlier, then maybe... maybe--,"
"Shut up," he says, sitting up on his bed, frowning at them, "You're too noisy."
All three turn to look at him. The smaller man, the one with a dimpled smile, walks forward a bit, "Hannie," he says, "Are you... all right now?"
He blinks, then he frowns and seriously answers, "I'm sorry, but Hannie isn't here right now. Maybe next time."
The dimpled smile vanishes the moment he says that. He notices and, unusually, he can't help but smile in satisfaction. The other man, the bulkier one, wraps an arm around the smaller one's shoulders, as if comforting him. They share a look, and he notices the helplessness in their eyes.
"Hannie," the smaller one tries again, "Don't you, don't you remember us? Don't we look familiar to you? Does Eeteuk and Kangin, or Jungsu and Youngwoon ring a bell to you?"
"No," he answers, "Should they be familiar?"
"We-we're your friends, Hannie--Hankyung. Don't you remember us? We've been friends for years and years and--,"
"I'm sorry. I don't know you."
He's in a house, and it's dark and dank and smelling of rust. He moves around slowly, wary of something in the dark, or in the corners or rooms or mirrors. He avoids going near any of those, choosing to walk where the light touches. There are paintings and pictures hanging on the wall; they're all boys and faces he knows he should recognize, but he doesn't. He finds it bothers him a bit, but he moves on.
There are noises in the living room, curious, he walks towards the sound and enters.
Fourteen people are crowded there, and they're all smiling and laughing and the room feels warm and comforting and safe. Entranced, he walks towards them. But the darkness and the dank and the smell of rust follows him and he begins to infect the room with it. Fourteen eyes look at him and they're frowning and accusing and cold and he's sorry, he's sorry because he's ruined everything, everything they've worked so hard for.
Suddenly, he yells when he feels hot, searing pain at his back; he turns around, horrified. He stares and sees it's one of the fourteen. He had a knife in his hands, dripping with blood --his blood. Then the other raises the knife again and he turns around, his whole body screaming at him to run. Unfortunately, he doesn't run fast enough. The knife digs in his back painfully. Again and again and again. And he stumbles and falls and the knife clatters before him, covered in his blood. He feels the other step over him, towards everyone else, to bask in the warmth and comfort and safety he had wanted to feel for himself.
He watches them continue on, without as much as a glance at him. He watches them and he feels and he hurts and he wants and needs to be with them.
He should be with them. Right?
"He's getting better, isn't he?"
The doctor looks at Eeteuk, a painfully obvious pitying look on her face. She shakes her head and says, "No, Jungsu-sshi."
"But," he defends, trying to retain that bit of hope he had gotten, "He talks to us now! We talked to him yesterday and it felt like he was the old Hankyung! How can he not be getting better?!"
She sighs, pauses and motions for him to follow. They enter Hankyung's room; Eeteuk sees Hankyung sitting on top of his bed, looking pleasantly at them --just like he always does way, way back then.
"Hi, Hankyung," Eeteuk says, smiling, "Feeling better?"
Hankyung doesn't answer him, though. He continues to stare at him, face still pleasant, but confusion beginning to shroud his eyes.
Eeteuk moves forward, smile starting to strain; he kneels by the foot of Hankyung's bed and says, "Hankyung, it's me. Eeteuk, remember?"
Hankyung just stares at him, confusion more evident in his eyes.
"Hankyung, please. Talk to me?"
"I," he begins, frowning at Eeteuk, "I... I no Hankyung. Geng," he says, pointing at himself.
Eeteuk's eyes widen, then he turns around and glances questioningly at the doctor. "Will he get better?"
The doctor looks at him, then she bites her lip and whispers, "I'm sorry, Jungsu-sshi."
I'm sorry.
"It surprised us too, Jungsu-sshi. We-we thought he was finally making progress... but, one day, he just wouldn't respond when we called him 'Hankyung'. He kept on insisting that his name was Geng and that he didn't know any Hankyung. I-I'm so sorry, we-we don't know if he's ever going to get better."
Eeteuk takes in a deep breath, trying to steady himself, not wanting to cry in front of the doctor. Swallowing thickly, he says, "When we talked to him, that one time a week ago. He seemed so normal. Like he was back to who he was before-before...," unable to continue, Eeteuks smiles strainedly and says, "I-I have to go. Thank you for your time."
She bows, smiles at him sympathetically and says, "I'm sorry," again.
Eeteuk stares at her for a moment, then he shakes his head and laughs mirthlessly, "No, please, don't apologize. We-- everyone had a hand in it, too. It's...," he says, guilt and pain and helplessness suddenly evident in his eyes, "it's, probably more our fault than anyone else, doctor."
The doctor stills, then she bites her lip and says, softly, "You wouldn't have known."
"No," he answers, '"But it was cruel and we shouldn't have done it." He bows at her, smiles and turns around. He takes a step froward, then two, then he pauses and turns back. He looks thoughtful for a while, then he shakes his head and says, "I'll... come visit him next week."
"Of course," she says.
"Geng? It's me again."
On the bed, Hankyung sits up and smiles when he sees Eeteuk walk up to him. "Hi, Teukie hyung," he greets, then he frowns and says, "Are we in China? You don't usually call me Geng."
Surprised, Eeteuk blinks at him for a while. Then he smiles shakily, allowing himself to hope a little. The doctor said that Hankyung hadn't gotten any better, and though he didn't get any worse, it still wasn't good.
Eeteuk sits beside the other boy, careful since he didn't want to scare him. Then he hesitantly reaches for the others' hand, eyes meeting Hankyung's, letting out the breath he had been holding when he came in.
"How have you been?"
Hankyung's eyes crinkle at him for a second, then he looks down, staring curiously at Eeteuk's hand over his own before he answers, "I've been good, hyung."
"That's good to hear. We-we thought you weren't getting better and--,"
"Getting better?" Hankyung asked, frowning, though his eyes are still staring at Eeteuk's hand, "I don't remember getting sick."
Eeteuk quickly shakes his head, laughs a little and says, "No. Yeah, I just... wanted to ask." With a frown, Eeteuk looks worriedly at Hankyung who is still staring at his hand. Gently, and a little scared, he asks, "Hannie, is something... wrong? Why are you--,"
"Wanna play a prank on Hannie when he comes back?" Eeteuk says, smiling mischievously.
"I," he whispers, "I can feel your hand, hyung. It's... it's like you're alive."
Eeteuk's whole body freezes the moment the other says that. Wide eyed, he covers his desire to cry with a laugh, swallowing hard, he says, "No, no, Hannie. I am alive! I'm really here! You feel me, right? I'm alive! I-I am alive!"
"Yah!" Heechul yells, laughing as he does so, "Why don't we do something really radical? Something he won''t ever suspect is a prank!"
Everyone laughs along with Heechul, heads nodding their assent.
"Hannie, please," Eeteuk pleads, forcing his tears not to fall, "Listen to me, okay? I'm here. I'm fine; we all are!"
Hankyung shakes his head at him. Frown set deep in his forehead, he says, "No. I saw everything. I saw--when I came back... that guy, that guy with a spider tattoo on his neck... he stabbed all of you! There-there was so, so much blood everywhere! You-- I... I couldn't do anything to save you! If only I got there sooner! Then maybe, maybe I could've done something, anything to help! But I-I was--,"
"You came too late, I'm afraid," the stranger says, a knife in his hand, as he smiles darkly at him. "Your friends... I'm afraid they're all gone," walking towards him, that man with a spider tattoo on his neck whispers, "Do you want to join them? It'll be painless, I promise."
"Hannie," Eeteuk says, tears beginning to well in his eyes, "Listen to me! It was a joke! We were only playing a prank, Hannie. It isn't true! We're all okay! That man, we hired him to act for us. He didn't kill anyone of us! We're all fine!" biting his lip, Eeteuk holds Hankyung by the shoulders and almost yells, "If you want, we'll all come! We'll show you we're fine! Hannie, Hannie, please! Come back to us!" unable to hold his tears anymore, Eeteuk lets them fall. Sobbing, he whispers, "I'm so, so, so sorry, Hannie. We--I... I just want you to come back to us. Please, please come back to us."
Beside him, Hankyung only stares. And then, frowning, he pries Eeteuk's hands from his shoulders, moves away from him and asks, "Who... are you again?"
Eeteuk gasps; then he sobs as he laughs and he laughs as he sobs and he bites his lip and allows more of his tears to fall. Trying to muffle his sobs with a hand over his mouth, he closes his eyes.
"Hannie," he whispers, pain and guilt clearly evident in his voice, "I'm so, so, so sorry."
---
Characters: Hankyung, Eeteuk
Genre: err... it's dark?
Rating: R
Summary: In which saying 'sorry' won't ever be enough.
There are always walls around him. This time, the walls are looming, and melting and crumbling and terrifying as they break into thousands of pieces. He huddles on his bed, both hands covering his ears, eyes shut tight and he's screaming and screaming for everything to stop.
A spider crawls from the bottom of his bed towards where he's sitting. He watches it, mesmerized. And suddenly, everything stills. Eyes trained solely on the insect, he watches it as if possessed. Slowly, his hand reaches for it. It scurries away from his hand, crawls away from him before his hand gets too close. He doesn't stop trying, and the spider doesn't stop scurrying away; as if it can see the mad glint dangerously dancing within his eyes, as if it can see the maniacal smile adorning his face, as if it can feel his intentions, feels his body tremble in barely concealed excitement. He runs out of patience soon, tired of playing. With a frown, he swipes it and closes his hand around the spider. He feels it scurry frantically inside the cavity of his palm, trying to crawl its way to escape. Opening his hand, he picks it using his forefinger and thumb and, watching in glee, grinds it in between his fingers. He giggles when liquid oozes out, laughs when it twitches and tries to break free. He pulls each leg violently, the madness in his eyes growing every time. Eventually, the spider stops moving.
"How boring," he says, as he flicks the thing away.
He frowns at the small, mangled body of the insect where it landed. And when he does, he notices that light is streaming from under his door. He frowns, confused.
He didn't know he had a door there.
He climbs out of his bed, curious. With his bare feet, he walks, hands reaching out to the doorknob he knows hadn't existed before. Eyes wide, eerie smile plastered on his face, he turns it. When he pushes the door open, he is greeted by a blinding light; he shifts his head, eyes turning to slits from the brightness. Beginning to get accustomed to the light, he opens his eyes slowly.
He blinks. And finds himself in another room.
Delighted, he giggles, smile wider, more maniacal than before.
There are huge, silver cabinets by the walls of the room. Some of them are closed, others are open and had bodies in them. A hand is sticking out in one, a head is stuck out of a cabinet to his left. In front of him, there are silver tables. Some of them are bare, others had pale, sometimes deformed, bodies on them. He takes in the sight in morbid fascination, more amused and excited than terrified like he should be.
He walks further in, towards the end of the bright, white room filled with silver cabinets and sometimes deformed, pale bodies. A table had been pushed at the wall, a silver one, with one half of a body cut in the middle, exposing its ribs, its heart and lungs and seared flesh. He moves towards it, eyes focused with morbid curiosity. With his smile still in place, he walks over it, hands already reaching out to touch it. A noise distracts him for a second, and he takes his eyes away from the body to see what caused the sound. Finding nothing wrong, he turns back to the body and gasps when he notices that one of its eyes are open.
Smile growing wider, he nods curtly, and says, "You had it pretty tough, didn't you?"
Around him, noises begin to arise. He turns and sees the bodies in the room shake and stir. Others that had eyes on them had them opened. Others, that only the had lower half of its body left, are twitching and moving. He laughs as he sees, unfazed. Pale, mangled, disemboweled bodies closing in towards him, he laughs louder, welcoming them. He laughs, and he laughs and he laughs and laughs. When they close in around him, everything turns black.
The moment he opens his eyes, he realizes he's lying on his bed. And that there are people hovering over him. One of them is poking his arm with a syringe. Another is taking notes on a clipboard. And yet another is checking his heartbeat with a stethoscope. All of them are wearing white. None of them notice he is awake.
When they finish and break apart, he sees another one by the door, talking with two people who aren't wearing white. They are looking at him with a strange expression on their faces, as if they pity him being there.
"Is he going to be all right?" one of them, the smaller one, asks.
The one in white shakes her head, "Eventually, with help, he should be. Right now, none of us know."
"What do you mean, 'none of you knows'?! Hyung's been in here for months! And for the times we've been visiting, he seems to be getting worse! Are you even trying to help him?!"
"Kangin," the smaller one says, trying to soothe the bigger, bulkier man, "Remember, we're at fault, too. We-we didn't notice... If only we noticed earlier, then maybe... maybe--,"
"Shut up," he says, sitting up on his bed, frowning at them, "You're too noisy."
All three turn to look at him. The smaller man, the one with a dimpled smile, walks forward a bit, "Hannie," he says, "Are you... all right now?"
He blinks, then he frowns and seriously answers, "I'm sorry, but Hannie isn't here right now. Maybe next time."
The dimpled smile vanishes the moment he says that. He notices and, unusually, he can't help but smile in satisfaction. The other man, the bulkier one, wraps an arm around the smaller one's shoulders, as if comforting him. They share a look, and he notices the helplessness in their eyes.
"Hannie," the smaller one tries again, "Don't you, don't you remember us? Don't we look familiar to you? Does Eeteuk and Kangin, or Jungsu and Youngwoon ring a bell to you?"
"No," he answers, "Should they be familiar?"
"We-we're your friends, Hannie--Hankyung. Don't you remember us? We've been friends for years and years and--,"
"I'm sorry. I don't know you."
He's in a house, and it's dark and dank and smelling of rust. He moves around slowly, wary of something in the dark, or in the corners or rooms or mirrors. He avoids going near any of those, choosing to walk where the light touches. There are paintings and pictures hanging on the wall; they're all boys and faces he knows he should recognize, but he doesn't. He finds it bothers him a bit, but he moves on.
There are noises in the living room, curious, he walks towards the sound and enters.
Fourteen people are crowded there, and they're all smiling and laughing and the room feels warm and comforting and safe. Entranced, he walks towards them. But the darkness and the dank and the smell of rust follows him and he begins to infect the room with it. Fourteen eyes look at him and they're frowning and accusing and cold and he's sorry, he's sorry because he's ruined everything, everything they've worked so hard for.
Suddenly, he yells when he feels hot, searing pain at his back; he turns around, horrified. He stares and sees it's one of the fourteen. He had a knife in his hands, dripping with blood --his blood. Then the other raises the knife again and he turns around, his whole body screaming at him to run. Unfortunately, he doesn't run fast enough. The knife digs in his back painfully. Again and again and again. And he stumbles and falls and the knife clatters before him, covered in his blood. He feels the other step over him, towards everyone else, to bask in the warmth and comfort and safety he had wanted to feel for himself.
He watches them continue on, without as much as a glance at him. He watches them and he feels and he hurts and he wants and needs to be with them.
He should be with them. Right?
"He's getting better, isn't he?"
The doctor looks at Eeteuk, a painfully obvious pitying look on her face. She shakes her head and says, "No, Jungsu-sshi."
"But," he defends, trying to retain that bit of hope he had gotten, "He talks to us now! We talked to him yesterday and it felt like he was the old Hankyung! How can he not be getting better?!"
She sighs, pauses and motions for him to follow. They enter Hankyung's room; Eeteuk sees Hankyung sitting on top of his bed, looking pleasantly at them --just like he always does way, way back then.
"Hi, Hankyung," Eeteuk says, smiling, "Feeling better?"
Hankyung doesn't answer him, though. He continues to stare at him, face still pleasant, but confusion beginning to shroud his eyes.
Eeteuk moves forward, smile starting to strain; he kneels by the foot of Hankyung's bed and says, "Hankyung, it's me. Eeteuk, remember?"
Hankyung just stares at him, confusion more evident in his eyes.
"Hankyung, please. Talk to me?"
"I," he begins, frowning at Eeteuk, "I... I no Hankyung. Geng," he says, pointing at himself.
Eeteuk's eyes widen, then he turns around and glances questioningly at the doctor. "Will he get better?"
The doctor looks at him, then she bites her lip and whispers, "I'm sorry, Jungsu-sshi."
I'm sorry.
"It surprised us too, Jungsu-sshi. We-we thought he was finally making progress... but, one day, he just wouldn't respond when we called him 'Hankyung'. He kept on insisting that his name was Geng and that he didn't know any Hankyung. I-I'm so sorry, we-we don't know if he's ever going to get better."
Eeteuk takes in a deep breath, trying to steady himself, not wanting to cry in front of the doctor. Swallowing thickly, he says, "When we talked to him, that one time a week ago. He seemed so normal. Like he was back to who he was before-before...," unable to continue, Eeteuks smiles strainedly and says, "I-I have to go. Thank you for your time."
She bows, smiles at him sympathetically and says, "I'm sorry," again.
Eeteuk stares at her for a moment, then he shakes his head and laughs mirthlessly, "No, please, don't apologize. We-- everyone had a hand in it, too. It's...," he says, guilt and pain and helplessness suddenly evident in his eyes, "it's, probably more our fault than anyone else, doctor."
The doctor stills, then she bites her lip and says, softly, "You wouldn't have known."
"No," he answers, '"But it was cruel and we shouldn't have done it." He bows at her, smiles and turns around. He takes a step froward, then two, then he pauses and turns back. He looks thoughtful for a while, then he shakes his head and says, "I'll... come visit him next week."
"Of course," she says.
"Geng? It's me again."
On the bed, Hankyung sits up and smiles when he sees Eeteuk walk up to him. "Hi, Teukie hyung," he greets, then he frowns and says, "Are we in China? You don't usually call me Geng."
Surprised, Eeteuk blinks at him for a while. Then he smiles shakily, allowing himself to hope a little. The doctor said that Hankyung hadn't gotten any better, and though he didn't get any worse, it still wasn't good.
Eeteuk sits beside the other boy, careful since he didn't want to scare him. Then he hesitantly reaches for the others' hand, eyes meeting Hankyung's, letting out the breath he had been holding when he came in.
"How have you been?"
Hankyung's eyes crinkle at him for a second, then he looks down, staring curiously at Eeteuk's hand over his own before he answers, "I've been good, hyung."
"That's good to hear. We-we thought you weren't getting better and--,"
"Getting better?" Hankyung asked, frowning, though his eyes are still staring at Eeteuk's hand, "I don't remember getting sick."
Eeteuk quickly shakes his head, laughs a little and says, "No. Yeah, I just... wanted to ask." With a frown, Eeteuk looks worriedly at Hankyung who is still staring at his hand. Gently, and a little scared, he asks, "Hannie, is something... wrong? Why are you--,"
"Wanna play a prank on Hannie when he comes back?" Eeteuk says, smiling mischievously.
"I," he whispers, "I can feel your hand, hyung. It's... it's like you're alive."
Eeteuk's whole body freezes the moment the other says that. Wide eyed, he covers his desire to cry with a laugh, swallowing hard, he says, "No, no, Hannie. I am alive! I'm really here! You feel me, right? I'm alive! I-I am alive!"
"Yah!" Heechul yells, laughing as he does so, "Why don't we do something really radical? Something he won''t ever suspect is a prank!"
Everyone laughs along with Heechul, heads nodding their assent.
"Hannie, please," Eeteuk pleads, forcing his tears not to fall, "Listen to me, okay? I'm here. I'm fine; we all are!"
Hankyung shakes his head at him. Frown set deep in his forehead, he says, "No. I saw everything. I saw--when I came back... that guy, that guy with a spider tattoo on his neck... he stabbed all of you! There-there was so, so much blood everywhere! You-- I... I couldn't do anything to save you! If only I got there sooner! Then maybe, maybe I could've done something, anything to help! But I-I was--,"
"You came too late, I'm afraid," the stranger says, a knife in his hand, as he smiles darkly at him. "Your friends... I'm afraid they're all gone," walking towards him, that man with a spider tattoo on his neck whispers, "Do you want to join them? It'll be painless, I promise."
"Hannie," Eeteuk says, tears beginning to well in his eyes, "Listen to me! It was a joke! We were only playing a prank, Hannie. It isn't true! We're all okay! That man, we hired him to act for us. He didn't kill anyone of us! We're all fine!" biting his lip, Eeteuk holds Hankyung by the shoulders and almost yells, "If you want, we'll all come! We'll show you we're fine! Hannie, Hannie, please! Come back to us!" unable to hold his tears anymore, Eeteuk lets them fall. Sobbing, he whispers, "I'm so, so, so sorry, Hannie. We--I... I just want you to come back to us. Please, please come back to us."
Beside him, Hankyung only stares. And then, frowning, he pries Eeteuk's hands from his shoulders, moves away from him and asks, "Who... are you again?"
Eeteuk gasps; then he sobs as he laughs and he laughs as he sobs and he bites his lip and allows more of his tears to fall. Trying to muffle his sobs with a hand over his mouth, he closes his eyes.
"Hannie," he whispers, pain and guilt clearly evident in his voice, "I'm so, so, so sorry."
---