I have diamonds in my pants, so nyeah!
OMG! There's a 300 in Fifteen Minutes? Why am I always the last to know about these things?!
Sparta, Ten Years Ago
LEONIDAS: Hello, Home Depot? Can you give me some prices on a bottomless pit?
*ded*
Xerxes, the God-King of Persia
[The God-King of Persia rolls up on his Antelope Throne to represent. Xerxes is seven feet tall and fabulous.]
XERXES: BOW TO ME.
LEONIDAS: Why should we?
XERXES: Our culture is far superior to yours.
LEONIDAS: Girl, please-give me one example.
XERXES: My panties are made of solid gold.
THE CAPTAIN: You know, they are pretty fierce-
LEONIDAS: SHUT UP.
XERXES: If you refuse to submit, I will wipe every trace of Sparta from this earth! No one will even remember that you existed!
LEONIDAS: Yeah? Then how do you explain this movie?
XERXES: GAHHHH.
*more ded*
Xerxes, the God-King of Persia (continued)
XERXES: Bow to me.
LEONIDAS: No.
XERXES: Bow to me.
LEONIDAS: NO.
XERXES: BOW TO ME.
LEONIDAS: SPARRRTAAAAAA!
XERXES: *facepalm*
*death throes*
Battle, Day 2
...[And then the Persians unleash… THE OLIPHAUNTS.]
LEONIDAS: Okay, Faramir, this is your area of expertise. Suggestions?
Did I mention I was ded?
...I don’t know if you’ve ever gotten 24-karat panties in a bunch, but it’s not pleasant.
XERXES: SMEAR MY LIP LINER?! BITCH I TAKE YOU DOWN!!!
One more!
That Rousing Final Battle Speech Someone Always Gives
FARAMIR: Usually it’s my brother or the returning king of Gondor who gives this speech, so I’m pretty excited about this.
*six feet under*
Sparta, Ten Years Ago
LEONIDAS: Hello, Home Depot? Can you give me some prices on a bottomless pit?
*ded*
Xerxes, the God-King of Persia
[The God-King of Persia rolls up on his Antelope Throne to represent. Xerxes is seven feet tall and fabulous.]
XERXES: BOW TO ME.
LEONIDAS: Why should we?
XERXES: Our culture is far superior to yours.
LEONIDAS: Girl, please-give me one example.
XERXES: My panties are made of solid gold.
THE CAPTAIN: You know, they are pretty fierce-
LEONIDAS: SHUT UP.
XERXES: If you refuse to submit, I will wipe every trace of Sparta from this earth! No one will even remember that you existed!
LEONIDAS: Yeah? Then how do you explain this movie?
XERXES: GAHHHH.
*more ded*
Xerxes, the God-King of Persia (continued)
XERXES: Bow to me.
LEONIDAS: No.
XERXES: Bow to me.
LEONIDAS: NO.
XERXES: BOW TO ME.
LEONIDAS: SPARRRTAAAAAA!
XERXES: *facepalm*
*death throes*
Battle, Day 2
...[And then the Persians unleash… THE OLIPHAUNTS.]
LEONIDAS: Okay, Faramir, this is your area of expertise. Suggestions?
Did I mention I was ded?
...I don’t know if you’ve ever gotten 24-karat panties in a bunch, but it’s not pleasant.
XERXES: SMEAR MY LIP LINER?! BITCH I TAKE YOU DOWN!!!
One more!
That Rousing Final Battle Speech Someone Always Gives
FARAMIR: Usually it’s my brother or the returning king of Gondor who gives this speech, so I’m pretty excited about this.
*six feet under*