(no subject)
Hmmmm. Not sure I approve of certain things, things slipping out of my control. Lack of ability to not give a shit- annoying, I was just getting good at that. I forget what its like to lose control and when I do, I realise that it's not that great and doesn't last anyway.
Once you get used to something it loses effect. Does that mean you can never really appreciate anything that's been around for a while? For instance, being happy, a great novelty but when you get used to that feeling, does it mean you're not happy any more? Does that mean that to stand a chance of being happy things need to be constantly changing? Then again philosophy doesn't really apply to emotion so I'm more than likely spouting bullshit, and I know something of feelings and emotions creeping up on your for no reason, just not used to them being positive. Maybe I'm trying to rationalise the fact that things are better than ever but I'm still not satisfied with my state of mind. I'm not sure just how long this trend can continue before it reaches a standstill or begins to backpeddle.
I've come to realise some things. Being yourself is having no fear, which I'm sure is impossible, just the way we're designed. There is a difference between not giving a shit and having no fear, because not giving a shit is a way of concealing that fear. When you can't help but give a shit the fear kicks in because you begin to think about the problems you'd been disguising and to actually overcome some of those fears rather than simply covering them up is the best feeling in the world.
I get annoyed. I get annoyed at myself and frustrated with other people. Closed minds, and not in a sexist, racist, homophobic etc way, just such that refuse to think outside the box to challenge their set ideas about the world and the way they live.
Charles Fort-
'We substitute acceptance for belief.
Cells of an embryo take on different appearances in different eras.
That social organism is embryonic.
The more firmly established, the more difficult to change.
That firmly to believe is to impede development.
That only temporarily to accept is to facilitate.'
As soon as I read the first page of 'The Book of the Damned' I knew I should have read it a long time ago. Theories that science- physics and chemistry as we know them are all in relation to an outer force which we, humans are too self - centered to even consider possible. How could the other planets be rotating some shiny dot in the sky as opposed to Earth? Even the book itself is still ridiculed for suggesting impossible ideas, yes, ideas that seem impossible to our closed minds. I told someone I was reading the book of the damned and they called me a quack. Although I can't deny agreeing with a lot that is put forward in the book, people like this young man remind me of the important men in the Church condemning A-la cart Catholics, picking and choosing what to believe. Just because generations of very important men such as yourselves have been brought up to believe in and follow strict guidelines, even rules, who the hell are you to condemn what other people believe? You want them out of your church? You want anyone who has ever questioned the reasoning behind any fickle Catholic tradition that has little to do with the teachings of Christ out, you might as well burn the Churches because there will be no one to fill them. So excuse me for reading, and yes agreeing with a lot that is said in this book, come on, who are you, God? Can you absolutely prove that everything in this book is nonsense? If you can fair enough, I'd love to have a chat with you. People like this frustrate me.
Even if you are God..... Think of a new born child, do they know God is responsible for their existence? In the same way, how does God know that he isn't being controlled by some other higher power? This isn't my belief, just an example of some possibilities that are troubling me. This is why I get annoyed at myself, I don't know whether to shout at myself for giving a shit because obviously I will never know, or to shout at myself for not caring enough. And when you think about some of these things, I don't understand why I still find it impossible to try and lose some of that petty fear. As soon as I start to give a shit the fear kicks in. As soon as I stop giving a shit, still the fear is there but I don't think it is affecting me, which leads to stupid impulse actions and generally being a cockass. But sometimes I switch between caring and not caring so fast I don't even notice it happening, so I don't know where the hell I am! So yes, if I could slide nicely into that state of nihilism and stay there things would be a lot simpler, even if I do lose control and make an ass out of myself all the while.
Hey, maybe Lourdes will give me some enlightenment, I do seem to recall such a feeling after the last trip so hopefully this time it will stick.
Ugh my head hurts. End of post.
Once you get used to something it loses effect. Does that mean you can never really appreciate anything that's been around for a while? For instance, being happy, a great novelty but when you get used to that feeling, does it mean you're not happy any more? Does that mean that to stand a chance of being happy things need to be constantly changing? Then again philosophy doesn't really apply to emotion so I'm more than likely spouting bullshit, and I know something of feelings and emotions creeping up on your for no reason, just not used to them being positive. Maybe I'm trying to rationalise the fact that things are better than ever but I'm still not satisfied with my state of mind. I'm not sure just how long this trend can continue before it reaches a standstill or begins to backpeddle.
I've come to realise some things. Being yourself is having no fear, which I'm sure is impossible, just the way we're designed. There is a difference between not giving a shit and having no fear, because not giving a shit is a way of concealing that fear. When you can't help but give a shit the fear kicks in because you begin to think about the problems you'd been disguising and to actually overcome some of those fears rather than simply covering them up is the best feeling in the world.
I get annoyed. I get annoyed at myself and frustrated with other people. Closed minds, and not in a sexist, racist, homophobic etc way, just such that refuse to think outside the box to challenge their set ideas about the world and the way they live.
Charles Fort-
'We substitute acceptance for belief.
Cells of an embryo take on different appearances in different eras.
That social organism is embryonic.
The more firmly established, the more difficult to change.
That firmly to believe is to impede development.
That only temporarily to accept is to facilitate.'
As soon as I read the first page of 'The Book of the Damned' I knew I should have read it a long time ago. Theories that science- physics and chemistry as we know them are all in relation to an outer force which we, humans are too self - centered to even consider possible. How could the other planets be rotating some shiny dot in the sky as opposed to Earth? Even the book itself is still ridiculed for suggesting impossible ideas, yes, ideas that seem impossible to our closed minds. I told someone I was reading the book of the damned and they called me a quack. Although I can't deny agreeing with a lot that is put forward in the book, people like this young man remind me of the important men in the Church condemning A-la cart Catholics, picking and choosing what to believe. Just because generations of very important men such as yourselves have been brought up to believe in and follow strict guidelines, even rules, who the hell are you to condemn what other people believe? You want them out of your church? You want anyone who has ever questioned the reasoning behind any fickle Catholic tradition that has little to do with the teachings of Christ out, you might as well burn the Churches because there will be no one to fill them. So excuse me for reading, and yes agreeing with a lot that is said in this book, come on, who are you, God? Can you absolutely prove that everything in this book is nonsense? If you can fair enough, I'd love to have a chat with you. People like this frustrate me.
Even if you are God..... Think of a new born child, do they know God is responsible for their existence? In the same way, how does God know that he isn't being controlled by some other higher power? This isn't my belief, just an example of some possibilities that are troubling me. This is why I get annoyed at myself, I don't know whether to shout at myself for giving a shit because obviously I will never know, or to shout at myself for not caring enough. And when you think about some of these things, I don't understand why I still find it impossible to try and lose some of that petty fear. As soon as I start to give a shit the fear kicks in. As soon as I stop giving a shit, still the fear is there but I don't think it is affecting me, which leads to stupid impulse actions and generally being a cockass. But sometimes I switch between caring and not caring so fast I don't even notice it happening, so I don't know where the hell I am! So yes, if I could slide nicely into that state of nihilism and stay there things would be a lot simpler, even if I do lose control and make an ass out of myself all the while.
Hey, maybe Lourdes will give me some enlightenment, I do seem to recall such a feeling after the last trip so hopefully this time it will stick.
Ugh my head hurts. End of post.