(no subject)
Yip so no more school, probably for ever.
Feeling a bit shit cause of the fact that I'm doing hardly any exams and it makes the whole time I was at St. Pats seem a bit pointless
Feeling a bit shit cause I don't know what I'm going to do with my life and praying I get into the course at tech I applied for and that I haven't screwed up my chances of ever getting a real job
Feeling good cause, well the sun's shining and I never have to go back to St. Pats...except for the exams...
Feeling good cause chances are I will get into the course, giving me qualifications to go to uni and get a real job
Also feeling good cause I get to leave ughy life behind and start over...if I get in...
Feeling a bit shit cause I definitely didn't get the most out of school and I wish I could have spent more time...present...and getting to know people better, making effort to mix with more people and have a good time with my existing friends
Feeling good cause I'm realising this and I don't plan on wasting a minute with them or shying away from new people from now on
Feeling a bit shit cause there's a lot of work I need to do for the exams and I literally don't know if I'll be ABLE to do it
Feeling good cause I'm at least doing something
I wanna get excited but a lot of stuff is dragging me down and I just wish my parents would realise that I need encouragement rather than 'Sure what's the difference? You're off school all the time anyway' any sort of self esteem would really help for being optimistic about my future, I thought actually getting off would make it easier to be optimistic but it only seems to be amplifying the reasons why I couldn't be optimistic before now. I just can't stand the thought of being 40, alone and working in a shop sweeping floors and my family don't seem to realise that I am aware of the consequences of what's been going on and that they do scare the hell out of me, I really just want someone to tell me and to actually believe that I'll be able to pull myself out of this. Maybe the very fact that I can't just get over the fact that I've screwed everything up and get on with it shows that I won't be able to. God I'm sick of this and maybe I've been too distracted to see, but I'm realising fast how much of a mess I really am.
Feeling a bit shit cause of the fact that I'm doing hardly any exams and it makes the whole time I was at St. Pats seem a bit pointless
Feeling a bit shit cause I don't know what I'm going to do with my life and praying I get into the course at tech I applied for and that I haven't screwed up my chances of ever getting a real job
Feeling good cause, well the sun's shining and I never have to go back to St. Pats...except for the exams...
Feeling good cause chances are I will get into the course, giving me qualifications to go to uni and get a real job
Also feeling good cause I get to leave ughy life behind and start over...if I get in...
Feeling a bit shit cause I definitely didn't get the most out of school and I wish I could have spent more time...present...and getting to know people better, making effort to mix with more people and have a good time with my existing friends
Feeling good cause I'm realising this and I don't plan on wasting a minute with them or shying away from new people from now on
Feeling a bit shit cause there's a lot of work I need to do for the exams and I literally don't know if I'll be ABLE to do it
Feeling good cause I'm at least doing something
I wanna get excited but a lot of stuff is dragging me down and I just wish my parents would realise that I need encouragement rather than 'Sure what's the difference? You're off school all the time anyway' any sort of self esteem would really help for being optimistic about my future, I thought actually getting off would make it easier to be optimistic but it only seems to be amplifying the reasons why I couldn't be optimistic before now. I just can't stand the thought of being 40, alone and working in a shop sweeping floors and my family don't seem to realise that I am aware of the consequences of what's been going on and that they do scare the hell out of me, I really just want someone to tell me and to actually believe that I'll be able to pull myself out of this. Maybe the very fact that I can't just get over the fact that I've screwed everything up and get on with it shows that I won't be able to. God I'm sick of this and maybe I've been too distracted to see, but I'm realising fast how much of a mess I really am.