Dream
I had the most horrible dream last night! I will be brief as it would probably be far too long otherwise. Basically the government ordered that one of either the mother and father in each family was to be killed for medical purposes. I dont mean killed as in shot or anything, it was like going to a clinic where the 'selected' adult was to go into a room to die, by injection i imagine, though in the dream i did not know precisely how, but somehow it horrendously worse this way than if they were to be shot. Anyway, it was the job of the parents to decide BETWEEN them who was to die and they werent allowed to tell the child until they were at the 'clinic'. It was so so horrible. This is the saddest dream ever. Anyway, i remember a LOT of crying. I know its possible to cry in your dreams but i felt it, it was so strong. There were other people i knew there and i remember crying so openly, not bawling, just having blurry eyes and tears. We got to the clinic and my parents still couldnt tell me who was going to have to die. Anyway, when we arrived there we these really tall asian doctors standing around in suits and i screamed at them. They refused to acknowledge me and it was so frustrating. I remember tears rolling down my face. Anyway, one of the doctors pushed me away and suddenly we were in this section of the clinic and my parents were cleaning something up together and my dad let it out that my mum was to die. She had 'volunteered'. The next bit is fixed in my mind and it makes me want to cry just thinking about it now. My legs buckled beneath me and i collapsed onto my knees, my head went into hands and i cried so so so hard. I can feel it now, theres something pulling in my stomach. You know how you cry so that you cant breathe and everything inside you rips totally apart, you feel you just couldnt cry any more or you'd faint. It was like that. I cried and screaming on the floor in front of my parents and they both cried. It was so horrible. I remember thinking i was going to destroy those doctors and i remember questioning everything, it was unbearable. I woke up at that point and just lay there for a moment. The pulling in my stomach was still there from crying in the dream, and while i lay awake i felt tears coming. I cried for a bit but went back to sleep and didnt return to the dream.
I hope i never have another dream like it.