wow...
i'm not sure exactly when it struck me, but somewhere between sitting in the stands at isu waiting for north's finals placement and driving to iwu still dazed from the excitement i began to put everything in perspective. high school. where i was just one year ago. hoping to do well at state and regionals in texas, the satisfaction of working hard to pull the show together every afternoon after school, hell, just working towards SOMETHING. operation secret stanford. duke. calculus. neuroscience. medical school. washington university. and now college. chemistry dropout. sleep. alcohol. all-afternoon naps. laziness. psychology major.
no no no this wasn't how it was supposed to turn out at all. so i broke down. how did i manage to stray so far from everything i worked so hard to achieve in high school? i guess i didn't really realize how different i was until i sat there, in the stands, exactly where i was one year ago. it didn't seem that long ago and yet...
so now i'm breaking my bad habits. which pretty much consist of sleeping all day, drinking, and being lazy in general. i need to go back to being high school laura. i'm not quite sure how i lost her or why i was even trying to change in the first place.
no more drunken shit-i'm-going-to-regret-this-in-the-morningness, no more waking up with creepy bruises, no more drunken ANYTHING. i quit.
as a start, i'm going to finish my french essay. and apply to college.
this weekend was very necessary.
and congrats to those of you still in high school marching band!!! i never would have dreamed that our band could get second place at state. and with joe garrision as a section leader, too. who wouda thunk.
no no no this wasn't how it was supposed to turn out at all. so i broke down. how did i manage to stray so far from everything i worked so hard to achieve in high school? i guess i didn't really realize how different i was until i sat there, in the stands, exactly where i was one year ago. it didn't seem that long ago and yet...
so now i'm breaking my bad habits. which pretty much consist of sleeping all day, drinking, and being lazy in general. i need to go back to being high school laura. i'm not quite sure how i lost her or why i was even trying to change in the first place.
no more drunken shit-i'm-going-to-regret-this-in-the-morningness, no more waking up with creepy bruises, no more drunken ANYTHING. i quit.
as a start, i'm going to finish my french essay. and apply to college.
this weekend was very necessary.
and congrats to those of you still in high school marching band!!! i never would have dreamed that our band could get second place at state. and with joe garrision as a section leader, too. who wouda thunk.