(no subject)
"Now I thought about what I want to say
But I never really know where to go
So I chained myself to a friend
'Cause there's no where else to go
Trying so hard to think of all I want to say tomorrow, and how to put it.
I mean, she's my best friend. At the very least, I need that. I'm not typically that good of a friend. But I'm sick of finding a new good friend every couple of years, and I don't want to give up on this one. I've tried, really hard, on many fronts. For one, I've tried so hard to not be a creep about it. I downplay it. I mean, that's my style... It's a terrible style too, and doesn't lend itself well to good interpersonal communications.
I know I need to break these habits.
That's definitely a major thing, I need to get myself out of this cycle.
The cycle of not being able to talk about your feelings.
I'm not good at opening up to people, and it's really tough sometimes. I'm a very lonely person a lot of the time. I guess it's kind of how I always have been. I'm just a loner, an outlier.
I'm very unsure of my place right now, but I want to figure out my shit.
I've got all of these thoughts (and then some) running through my head; How could I ever expect myself to be monogamous? Who else in my life might understand where I'm coming from?
I sure hope I can explain myself properly.
Remember, worse comes to worse, there's always plenty of options.
But I know what I want.
I just don't know how to get it. I'm far too passive. I can't read people, relationships are where I absolutely fail in interpersonal communications.
Also, that comment today Ari made about how it was dumb of Swindle to move in with someone she liked? Definitely a starting point for some conversation tomorrow. Mainly because I did feel like shit.
And, I can explain!! And I think it sounds totally reasonable.
She was with Timmy. I knew that would fizzle out. I was waiting for that to happen. It did, but because of Matt. Now Matt is here.
And I don't know what to do.
I just need to come clean. Get it all off of my chest.
Then, I can move on or whatever
But I never really know where to go
So I chained myself to a friend
'Cause there's no where else to go
Trying so hard to think of all I want to say tomorrow, and how to put it.
I mean, she's my best friend. At the very least, I need that. I'm not typically that good of a friend. But I'm sick of finding a new good friend every couple of years, and I don't want to give up on this one. I've tried, really hard, on many fronts. For one, I've tried so hard to not be a creep about it. I downplay it. I mean, that's my style... It's a terrible style too, and doesn't lend itself well to good interpersonal communications.
I know I need to break these habits.
That's definitely a major thing, I need to get myself out of this cycle.
The cycle of not being able to talk about your feelings.
I'm not good at opening up to people, and it's really tough sometimes. I'm a very lonely person a lot of the time. I guess it's kind of how I always have been. I'm just a loner, an outlier.
I'm very unsure of my place right now, but I want to figure out my shit.
I've got all of these thoughts (and then some) running through my head; How could I ever expect myself to be monogamous? Who else in my life might understand where I'm coming from?
I sure hope I can explain myself properly.
Remember, worse comes to worse, there's always plenty of options.
But I know what I want.
I just don't know how to get it. I'm far too passive. I can't read people, relationships are where I absolutely fail in interpersonal communications.
Also, that comment today Ari made about how it was dumb of Swindle to move in with someone she liked? Definitely a starting point for some conversation tomorrow. Mainly because I did feel like shit.
And, I can explain!! And I think it sounds totally reasonable.
She was with Timmy. I knew that would fizzle out. I was waiting for that to happen. It did, but because of Matt. Now Matt is here.
And I don't know what to do.
I just need to come clean. Get it all off of my chest.
Then, I can move on or whatever