Photo Day, the Hopping and Aperture way!

[bluemoon_loon]

Date: Wednesday, May 3, 2000
Time: Early afternoon
Place: Hopping and Aperture's, Ottery St. Catchpole
Characters Involved: Luna Lovegood and open to EVERYBODY! Come one and all!
Rating: We'll say PG to PG-13
Complete or Incomplete: Complete

Comments

[bluemoon_loon]

Professor Snape was... trying to smile... not quite successfully, no, but the attempt was there! Luna took that as a good sign and smiled back serenely as she answered his question.

"No. I do help with The Quibbler's production, when I can, but I've never been fond of writing." Which was true. Luna could write, and in fact wrote very well, but she'd had neither an appreciation for her skill nor an interest in pursuing it as profession.

...Not until she and Tonks began The Periodic Inquiry, of course. Realising now that she did have the aptitude, Luna planned to nurture it.

She volunteered no other information--he hadn't asked--and continued to smile as her former professor looked quite alarmed by the concept of photographs. That is, until he divulged his lack of interest in having any taken. This inspired a curious look and a slow blink. For a moment Luna's gaze seemed a bit unfocused.

"Narcissistic, no." She said, contemplating Snape's unexpected reaction. "I've never considered wanting to preserve memories a sign of narcissism." The smile returned. "Besides, some people do not take photographs for themselves, but to give to loved ones." An expectant raise of the eyebrows revealed that yes, Luna was being quite serious.

"And you won't be paying galleons!" She beamed. "Just one, at most. It is a sale day."

[subtle_simmer]

It was well that he was not presently imbibing any sort of liquid refreshment as she spoke - it would have been sprayed everywhere. As it was, the sudden, incredulous half-laugh of surprise was poorly repressed. He wiped his hand across his mouth in an old habit of attempting to conceal his crooked teeth until he could pull his completely reluctant smile off his face.

"Miss Lovegood, do you seriously imagine that there is anyone of my acquaintance who would consider it a gift to be given a photographic portrait of me?"

'Loved ones,', indeed!

"Perhaps a Muggle mug-shot for Rudiger Singleton for throwing darts or..."

And suddenly, of course, it did occur to him - not someone who would want a photo, of course - but someone to whom it would give him a great deal of sadistic satisfaction to provide one.

Herself - the Lady Bellatrix. How much more would it enrage the blitheringly insane bint if he were to send her a photo?

He wasn't really going to do it, of course. It was a bit too childish, even for him. But the idea held a great deal of appeal.

[nymphadorauror]

“Or a gift for a secret admirer.” Tonks said as she approached Snape and Luna, after passing by the crowded area outside the portrait studio-business. She moved to stand next to Luna while her words had obviously been directed at Snape.

Tonks had seen a dark figure standing outside, near the main, rear entrance of the building she had known from previous excursions, talking to a blonde woman. Upon walking closer, Tonks realized it was Snape and Luna. At first, she didn’t want to walk up and interrupt, but after a moment of watching them converse, as she stepped closer between passerby’s, she realized she’d rather find out why Snape would be talking to Luna, and why he was even there at the shop that day. He couldn’t want a photo, could he? It was just too curious to not pry into.

She had overheard Snape say the most ridiculous thing. Darts and Muggle mug-shots? The words were in need of a comment. A comment she thought would get things stirred a bit, remembering what Charlie had told her about Snape’s reaction to gifts from secret admirers.

Her brown eyes gave Snape cheery, curious expression as she smiled. “Hello, Snape.”

Then she turned on a heel to look at Luna better than a sideways glance. A quick jerk that drug pink tresses to slip off her robed shoulder. That’s right, Tonks was wearing a robe. A faded black thing, wide open in the front, exposing a very lovely teal turtleneck and a purple belted, black pair of slacks, over her dirty, dingy black boots. She didn’t look like her usual self, a bit overdressed for such, but still with bright colors under the old rags of the robe.
“Wotcher, Luna. Business booming?”

[bluemoon_loon]

Luna blinked at Snape's rebuttal. "Are you universally disliked?" The concept of a person having no loved ones--even if that person was Severus Snape--seemed difficult for her to grasp. "Surely not... you do have several house mates, after all? At least one of them must like you... otherwise I should think that's an uncomfortable living arrangement." To think... a house full of people who hated you!

She waited expectantly as he trailed off mid-thought, but the reply didn't come from where she expected. Rather than Snape's condescending tenor, she got a jovial quip from Tonks. Luna smiled brightly, she hadn't expected Tonks to come today!

"Quite so," Luna replied as Tonks inquired about their sales. "There's been a non-stop parade since early this morning. And Professor Snape is ordering a photograph, so I was just about to offer him a complimentary frame in appreciation."

Obviously Luna had no need for reality; she was perfectly capable of making up her own.

[subtle_simmer]

Severus turned to the newcomer, and his almost to the surface mirth turnt to a characteristic sneer. His spine stiffened impossibly - he did not need her 'reminder' of the horrible episode with Charlie Weasley's supposed 'love-letter', though he could not imagine that she knew anything about that.

"If, Nymphadora, I was to possess such a thing as a 'secret admirer', then I would not know the person's identity in order to gift her with a photograph, now, would I? Hence the term secret, do you see?"

Returning his attention to Luna, and his expression to incredulity, he bit back his retort. If she could not imagine him to be universally 'disliked' she was farther out of touch with reality than he remembered.

Which was clearly the case when she continued.

"Miss Lovegood, I am certainly not ordering a photograph!" he said in exasperation. "Have you not heard what I said? I have no use for such a thing!"

His previous immature, almost downright mischievous thought would not quite be repressed, however, and he couldn't help but imagine the torrent of rage which would result if he really were to follow through with it.

He decided, almost on a whim, to let them in on his 'private joke'.

"Then again, I can't help but wonder if it would brighten the dreary hospital room of Mrs Lestrange, if I were to send her a photograph?" he mused aloud, smirking at the pair of them.

[nymphadorauror]

Tonks couldn’t stop herself; it was utterly impossible to not only have a bit of fun, but to have it at Snape and Charlie’s expense. Add in the fact that Snape toyed with the use of Tonks' first name, and you'd get Tonks with little to no self control over issues that might cause a bit of a stir. “But I had assumed you knew who your secret admirer was. Guess I was misinformed.”

Of course she wasn’t, but she wanted to have it said that she was told something, rather than it assumed she had created said admirations herself. Oh, but how she wanted to learn more about Snape’s time with receiving the love letter, from Snape himself!

This was neither the time, nor the place however, which was pointed out by Luna’s comment about Snape getting a photo done. So he was to get one? Tonks was to question Luna further, but Snape reprimanded the insinuation quickly, leaving Tonks to look at him and just listen- for now.

Tonks had to choke back a laugh from his rather abrupt comment, but soon found her voice. Lestrange? What on earth would make him want to give a picture to Bellatrix?

“Oh, well I definitely was misinformed then.” Tonks smirked while looking at Snape. “I didn’t think you’d have insane admirers. All the same, what a nice gesture, wouldn’t you say, Luna?”

Tonks tore her smirk away from Snape to give Luna a secret glance. One that, if it could speak, would be asking the girl to play along with the game. “May I suggest a special frame, then? Possibly something sturdy, that can be thrown to the ground and not break easily?”

Then Tonks quickly added in, “Glad to hear that business is going well. Did you have time to consider what I asked you the other night?”

This would explain Tonks’ attire. She had every mind to do what she had suggested to Luna in journal. About the girls getting a portrait done together to mark their secret partnership.

[bluemoon_loon]

Well, now Professor Snape was just talking gibberish--at least, he might as well have been. Luna gave no indication that she even understood the concept of "not ordering a photograph" and "no use for such a thing." She'd already decided that he was and he did, and there was no room for argument.

And to prove that she was right, Snape now expressed a clear interest in getting a photo done! He was trying to smile again, but Luna was staring blankly as she tried to reason in her mind why a photo of Snape would cheer up BELLATRIX LESTRANGE.

"I suppose so," Luna replied to Tonks's question, her voice vague and distracted. She wouldn't think Bellatrix would have an interest in something like photographs... unless she could use the edges as sharp weapons. But then again, maybe psychotic killers did like photographs. But one of Snape? What sort of relationship did they have? Very curious.

But Luna did catch Tonks's glance, and she thought the inquiry was rather peculiar, at first... obviously she was expecting this frame to be in mortal peril at the hands of Bellatrix. That seemed reasonable to Luna, and she smiled. "Of course! We have a line of near indestructible photo accessories. They're popular among households with feisty pets or children."

She stared quizzically again at Tonks's next question. What had Tonks asked her, the other day? They hadn't seen each other in quite a bit, and... oh, something in journal then? Ah, it was coming back to her now. Luna beamed. "I certainly did, and I think it's a smashing idea."

Almost as smashing as the thought of Professor Snape getting a photo! Luna took a few steps over to the door and peered in, to see how things were moving along. Currently there was one more person in line; more people were approaching down the lane, but it would take at least another minute for them to reach Hopping and Aperture's.

Luna rejoined Tonks and Snape, smiling brightly. "Well, Professor Snape, we should be ready for another customer in a few minutes. Once your photo's taken we can pick out a suitable frame for Mrs. Lestrange." She tilted her head slightly. "Would you prefer the formal backdrop, or one of our 'world traveler' selections?"

It would be clear, in a moment, that Luna was either two players short a Quidditch team, or a sales genius.

[subtle_simmer]

Severus gritted his teeth - clearly Nymphadora had, indeed, heard of the fiasco of Weasley's letter.

"I continue to be the butt of infantile pranks, Nyphadora - which has never yet constituted 'admiration' in any form."

Never mind that he was now, apparently, being sucked into an 'infantile prank' of his own. One which he simply refused to do - even as he was being led, like a lamb to slaughter, inexorably toward the door.

"Miss Lovegood - that was irony," he said irritably. "I have no intention, now or any other day, to sit for a photograph."

It had been bad enough to sit for one every year for the Hogwarts staff photo. He wasn't about to do it now, no matter how much it would please him to enrage Herself.

[nymphadorauror]

Tonks arched a curious brow at Snape, and then glanced back at Luna as a faint grin formed. “The near indestructible accessories would be perfect. Tonks replied, with a slightly energetic tone. “I think his intended is quite feisty.” She fought the urge to look at Snape after making such a remark, and was distracted from this urge as she heard Luna agree to the idea of getting a picture done. It made her grin widen with delight.

Tonks had no choice now but to glance at Snape, as Luna checked the progress of the business inside the shop. She did so still wearing her grin, while biting her tongue. It was obvious that she was thinking things as she looked to him, but did not dare say them.

Then Luna returned and tried coaxing Snape into the building. When Luna asked about the backdrop, Tonks released a soundless chuckle as a hand pressed up against her tightly formed grin. She couldn’t help it; it was amusing to see Luna usher Snape into a decision. Now, however, he sounded as if he wouldn’t go through with it, which made Tonks stop being troublesome for the moment and help with the progression.

“But think of the possibilities, “Tonks said quickly, “of a picture. If not for the mentally ill, then what of more personal reasons?”

Then she chuckled lightly. “It’s not as if ‘sitting’ for a picture would hurt. Besides, with the sale going on, it’d be silly to pass this up.” But suddenly an idea came to her. “Perhaps…. .. Perhaps you could give it to Draco? As a gift, since he’ll not see your bright and happy face on a regular basis anymore.”

Granted Tonks’ comment sounded like a tease, with her words about Snape having a 'bright and happy face', but her tone of voice was calm and soft, making her comment seem serious. For it was. It would be funny to see Snape get a picture, for Tonks had already started to ponder if Snape would actually smile for the photo. But she also wanted to help Luna, who seemed to really want Snape to get one done. Let it never be said that Tonks did not help her friends, when they needed it.

[bluemoon_loon]

Well, Luna was glad that Tonks thought well of her frame recommendation! But as Luna returned she blinked curiously at Snape's declaration of irony. "Well, you don't have to sit. You can pose however you like." Professor Snape was very stubborn... luckily Luna had an infinite amount of patience.

Listening to Tonks's suggestion, Luna brightened. She, too, took it rather seriously and smiled at Snape. "That sounds like a wonderful idea!" She really didn't know anything about Draco, or Snape, or their relationship. But it seemed to her that anyone should be happy to receive a photo.

"It really won't take much of your time or money, Professor Snape. I suppose photographs do seem trivial, but when the images they hold are gone and you have no other way of preserving those memories, they really show their worth."

Yet another cryptic and potentially awkward remark from Luna Lovegood... all delivered with a cheerfully serene smile.

[subtle_simmer]

Nymphadora's reminder of his most recent personal irritation - rejection, really, as he could not help but view it in any other light - removed all even remotely pleasurable contemplation of sadistic taunting of Bellatrix.

Luna's comment that he might actually pose for a photo drew another harsh, inelegant snort of incredulity. Was she really this dense? Well - okay, he knew the answer to that already - yes, she was. But still.

Which somehow didn't alter his apparent need to continue to try and explain reality to her.

"Contrary to Nymphadora's implications, and even my own attempt at dark humour, there is no one to whom I would consider 'giving' a photograph of myself, and absolutely no rational reason in the world why I would willingly pay to have a photographic portrait taken to begin with. If I wish to see my own visage, I have mirrors. If someone else wishes to see it, there are numerous photos in the in the Prophet to which they might refer.

"I am NOT here for a photo, in any form."

Surely, he could not speak any plainer?

[nymphadorauror]

Tonks’ face changed while Snape was talking. First she had been smiling and listening to Luna with enthusiasm, but that soon faded when Snape started speaking. Tonks actually winced; the slight wrinkles under her eyes and the curves of loose skin around her brow crinkled hastily when Snape had put emphasis on her first name, while using it again. At first Tonks had tried to ignore the usage- for the teasing, and the coaxing, were keeping her pleasantly distracted. But now- it was no longer ignored.

She took a step, a very small shift of her feet, backwards, as if she was afraid of her current company, while her face expressed her irritation.

“That’s too bad then,” Tonks said quickly- when she assumed Snape was finished spoiling the fun of photos and gifts. Her irritation was making her voice sound flat. “That no one is worthy of such a gift. Or that the Daily Prophet’s captures are the only privilege, except for personal confrontations. I wonder which is worse between those stipulations.”

Then Tonks swiftly addressed Luna before Snape could retort. “I’m going to put my name down now, on the waiting list. I'll let you know when I'm up. Pardon my interruption."

And so she left the two of them, as quickly as that. She helped an elderly witch with her grandson it seemed- by holding open the door they were exiting from, before entering. She glanced at Snape as she waited for the doorway to be cleared, and then stepped inside the portrait studio.

[bluemoon_loon]

This conversation went downhill with amazing speed. Snape's less than enthused expression was nothing new, but suddenly Tonks seemed upset with his words. Luna stared with bemusement at her reply and sudden departure. Luna might have considered going after her, but she obviously wanted to get away, and following along may not help in this case. Besides, she said she was just going to put her name on the wait list....

So, looking not so much concerned as she did dazed and confused, Luna turned back to Snape, blinking slowly.

"Why are you here, Professor Snape?" Her voice was serene, but curious. It was a valid question; why go to a photo shop if you didn't want a photo?

[subtle_simmer]

Nothing bothered that woman more than the use of her given name. Severus smirked in pleasure at his success in annoying her so easily, even as he mentally extracted points for being such an 'easy' target. She ought to be accustomed to that particular goading from him by now.

His gaze returned to Miss Lovegood's expression, and he was caught again in the dichotomy which seemed to surround this particular individual. She had the gift for simultaneously appearing as dreamily vacant-headed as an empty fishbowl, yet there was something in her glassy-eyed stare which always made him instinctively check his Occlumency.

"I had errands which brought me in this direction, and was curious as to the nature of the crowd, nothing more. I did not even know of this establishment's existence prior to this moment."

Then, because he realised he'd been rude - though it honestly didn't bother him much - he attempted to moderate his tone.

"Clearly your 'sale' is a rousing success. I will leave you to your work, then."

[bluemoon_loon]

Thankfully Luna wasn't often bothered by Snape's rigid demeanour. She'd had five years to get used to him. But there was no denying the man was intense, and since her first year at Hogwarts she'd gotten into the habit of flinching whenever she anticipated a scolding or critique from him. Luna seemed much more comfortable now, though through their conversation she had held her shoulders a bit high. She appreciated it when he lessened the severity of his tone.

As he declared the sale a success, Luna smiled softly. "We broadened our advertising campaign to pubs and funeral parlors, this year."

But he still seemed determined to leave without taking a photo. How could a man be so opposed to something that should make you happy? Did he really have no one to whom he could give it?

Snape was obviously trying to end their exchange, but Luna wasn't going to give up on him just yet. She grinned. "I'm currently performing my work, Professor Snape."

Despite her expression suddenly becoming especially vacant as her eyelids lowered, there was a keen sparkle in her eye. "We at Hopper and Aperture's pride ourselves on efficiency, Professor. Please come in and sit for a photo."

She gestured to the door, which was currently clear, in an inviting manner. "If the photo, logging your order and picking out your complimentary frame take more than one minute, your entire purchase is free."

One minute... was definitely pushing it. But she continued grinning as she waited for his reaction. "Consider it a gift of gratitude from a former pupil."

[subtle_simmer]

How had his attempt at relatively civil refusal ended up with him finding himself inexorably 'herded' toward the opening of the shop?

"That seems a clever marketing ploy," he said in response to her comment about her leaflet campaign - still trying to slip away.

Another step closer to the door.

"I am no longer a Professor," he huffed irritably, again attempting to side-step the determined young woman - and failing, ending in another step toward the door.

"No one has questioned your efficiency, Miss Lovegood - merely my need for your services," he groused - even as he found himself now inside the studio.

The implication that he might not be able to pay for his own bloody photograph if he wanted one raised his hackles afresh.

"Miss Lovegood, I am certainly capable of purchasing my own photograph," he snapped, harshly.

All in all, it was a very disgruntled, discomposed, and exceedingly irritated Potions Master who somehow found himself reluctantly standing (at least not sitting) in front of the camera. If looks could kill, the film inside would have been melted just like Colin Creevey's after its run-in with the basilisk all those years ago.