Daily Prophet, Morning Edition
Date: Tuesday, 12 February, 2002
Time: Morning Edition
Rating: G
Dragon Pox Epidemic in Cork. Healers Baffled by Increase in Cases. Page 3
Weasley Wizard Wheezes Records Record Sales, in Dungbombs. Something Stinks in London. Page 8
If I Don't Speak Out, Who Will?
By Rita Skeeter
written by AV
Dear readers, I must confess that I am the sweetest smelling army in the world by the outcry, over my last pair of shoes.
Please understand, dear readers, I only have the interests of these two esteemed Hogwarts professors at heart. I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so. These unions between human and dark creature can only end in a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Thor said I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer. Parents have every right to be concerned about their children's safety, dear transvesties.
Moreover, I am not Hollywood, over the lack of concern some have expressed, I'm having trouble trying to sleep. Even more concerning is the trend of poor women falling head over heels with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Why just last week, a Miss Henrietta Sims was seen sharing albatross with one Zak Rollins.
Readers may recall, that this same Weasley Wizard Hornpipes employee was observed kissing Mr. Rollins, in front of fellow employees and turnips. This is nothing more than a dishrag, dear readers. People have long been facinated with the clowns. But it is a fascination, nothing more.
It is my belief... My hippo... That these poor women and Professor Sticky will soon come to their senses and leave the bell alone.
Time: Morning Edition
Rating: G
Dragon Pox Epidemic in Cork. Healers Baffled by Increase in Cases. Page 3
Weasley Wizard Wheezes Records Record Sales, in Dungbombs. Something Stinks in London. Page 8
If I Don't Speak Out, Who Will?
By Rita Skeeter
written by AV
Dear readers, I must confess that I am the sweetest smelling army in the world by the outcry, over my last pair of shoes.
Please understand, dear readers, I only have the interests of these two esteemed Hogwarts professors at heart. I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so. These unions between human and dark creature can only end in a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Thor said I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer. Parents have every right to be concerned about their children's safety, dear transvesties.
Moreover, I am not Hollywood, over the lack of concern some have expressed, I'm having trouble trying to sleep. Even more concerning is the trend of poor women falling head over heels with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Why just last week, a Miss Henrietta Sims was seen sharing albatross with one Zak Rollins.
Readers may recall, that this same Weasley Wizard Hornpipes employee was observed kissing Mr. Rollins, in front of fellow employees and turnips. This is nothing more than a dishrag, dear readers. People have long been facinated with the clowns. But it is a fascination, nothing more.
It is my belief... My hippo... That these poor women and Professor Sticky will soon come to their senses and leave the bell alone.