Afraid to remember, what has not been forgotten. Part Two.
Date: April 4rd, 2000
Time: 1:30 pm
Place: Ministry of Magic/ Auror Department
Character Involved: Tonks
Rating: PG
Complete
Standing in a corridor, no, she was walking down a corridor and toward a painting.
“Puniceus Crustum”, said a voice, her voice, spoken to the lady moving on the canvas. It opened, and she walked beyond into a large, empty room where a fire burned and silence cracked. She moved to the stairwell, not a familiar, regular path, one she did not wander up to often. Her pale hands used the wall as she heard a voice calling, her voice again, calling out for someone.
“Andy!? You up there?” Came the tone of her voice, but not one that I recognized. It was then, I realized, her voice was not mine, but changed, enchanted to sound different, to sound feathery and high-pitched. Yet she was me. I was her. Then I realized who she called out for- the name was familiar even if her voice was not. His name. Andrew. He was my friend, Andrew Barnett, and so was his brother Anthony as well… both of them were Gryffindors, like she, yet Anthony was older, a few years difference. She felt a desire to find Andrew; it was itching her nerves and making her forehead sweat. Her shaky fingers ran up to brush away moisten skin, just as I saw Andy emerge from the stairs and look at me.
“Yvonne?” He asked, as he stopped short from climbing down the last step- having come down from his room, upstairs. “I thought you’ve gone for Christmas Hols.” He was looking at her with his large, brown eyes. It made her smile.
But wait, he called me Yvonne- that’s not my name… tell him…tell him that’s not my name.
“Hi. I’ve come back early.” Issued my voice to him, not what I wanted to say. “I heard you didn’t leave to see family with your brother.” Said with the high-pitched voice, not of my own.
“Yeah, I need to study, and I just need to get away from Anthony and his girlfriend… They invited her to go visit. Those two are connected to the face.” He mused, and then met her at the bottom of the stairs, finally. It made her smile wider.
“Hhhmm… have you a girlfriend, then?” Said I, and watched, smiling, as he shook his head.
“Nah- I’m not really looking for that sort of thing…” He seemed to blush when our eyes met, even though he was a foot taller. His hands ran up to itch his head beneath wavy, sandy blonde hair. Then he grinned.
“What of you? I heard you’ve got a lot of guys after you.” He moved away, toward a couch, and it bothered me. Yet he did not stop staring, and it felt lovely to watch him stare.
“So, you’ve listened to the rumors? Do you think they are true?” Came that annoying voice from my throat, so- so girly and prissy. “There is one about you.” The girl walked toward Andrew, I walked- toward him where he sat, sauntered to sit next to him. He was staring, grinning, and blushing again.
“Is there one? Really? What does it say about me?” He asked, but his voice sounded nervous.
My hands moved to touch his shoulder, both hands while my body leaned. “That you fancy me.” She said, I said with the voice of Yvonne mockery. He seemed to not flinch at my touch, though he watched while his eyes went wide and his jaw unhinged.
“We are alone Andy…. Can you tell me if what I’ve heard is true?”
Tonks jerked from her desk, gasping franticly, as she woke up from having passed out over paperwork on her desk. Her face was as pale as a ghost, her eyes watered as they blinked. It was just a dream… oh gods, it was a nightmare! Tonks rushed herself from her cubicle, and ran through the busy office to find the loo. She had to get away, she felt the need to run and escape somewhere more private before she would burst. Unfortunately if any crossed her path, they were pushed aside, trampled past, for her need was great, and theirs could not be bothered with. She felt sick to her stomach, there was a dizzy spell looming, and her mind was crying out the echoes of the voice she had dreamed of. The same voice she had used, for the nightmare was not just a dream- but also a dedicated memory- wanting to relive the moments of time.
Once she found the loo, and barricaded herself within a private stall, she let loose her fears in tears, and her broken heart with sobs. It wouldn’t stop- she knew it wouldn’t. She had kept herself awake as long as she could the night before, because the memory wanted to resurface and she couldn’t allow it. But it had cost her sleep- and boring paperwork had decided to grant her that sleep, and guarantee her memory would be granted passage through her tired mind. Now the irritating, prissy voice of Yvonne, and her pretense actions, were flooding Tonks with the pain of that event. It wouldn’t end, Tonks knew, if last night did not stop it, and sleep would not block the thoughts- she knew she’d be forced to relive and remember. While she cried away the pain, she wondered if she could have Kingsley issue a memory charm upon her- and allow her peace.
Tonks decided to excuse herself from work as quickly as she could, once she wasn’t a teary mess of issues, and left a note with the Head of the Department that she was feeling ill. And she was, extremely ill, just not from health problems. He sent a note back, allowing her to not show up for the next day, to get herself straightened out. She gathered up assignments to be done at home, and then headed in that direction- but to do what, she did not know. What does one do when they’d rather run from the past than escape it? Where does one go, when their mind has other objectives? What would she tell her parents, when they saw her home so early? Well, she figured her bed would be comfortable, if she would be forced to dream, instead of a messy desk filled with nonsense.
Time: 1:30 pm
Place: Ministry of Magic/ Auror Department
Character Involved: Tonks
Rating: PG
Complete
Standing in a corridor, no, she was walking down a corridor and toward a painting.
“Puniceus Crustum”, said a voice, her voice, spoken to the lady moving on the canvas. It opened, and she walked beyond into a large, empty room where a fire burned and silence cracked. She moved to the stairwell, not a familiar, regular path, one she did not wander up to often. Her pale hands used the wall as she heard a voice calling, her voice again, calling out for someone.
“Andy!? You up there?” Came the tone of her voice, but not one that I recognized. It was then, I realized, her voice was not mine, but changed, enchanted to sound different, to sound feathery and high-pitched. Yet she was me. I was her. Then I realized who she called out for- the name was familiar even if her voice was not. His name. Andrew. He was my friend, Andrew Barnett, and so was his brother Anthony as well… both of them were Gryffindors, like she, yet Anthony was older, a few years difference. She felt a desire to find Andrew; it was itching her nerves and making her forehead sweat. Her shaky fingers ran up to brush away moisten skin, just as I saw Andy emerge from the stairs and look at me.
“Yvonne?” He asked, as he stopped short from climbing down the last step- having come down from his room, upstairs. “I thought you’ve gone for Christmas Hols.” He was looking at her with his large, brown eyes. It made her smile.
But wait, he called me Yvonne- that’s not my name… tell him…tell him that’s not my name.
“Hi. I’ve come back early.” Issued my voice to him, not what I wanted to say. “I heard you didn’t leave to see family with your brother.” Said with the high-pitched voice, not of my own.
“Yeah, I need to study, and I just need to get away from Anthony and his girlfriend… They invited her to go visit. Those two are connected to the face.” He mused, and then met her at the bottom of the stairs, finally. It made her smile wider.
“Hhhmm… have you a girlfriend, then?” Said I, and watched, smiling, as he shook his head.
“Nah- I’m not really looking for that sort of thing…” He seemed to blush when our eyes met, even though he was a foot taller. His hands ran up to itch his head beneath wavy, sandy blonde hair. Then he grinned.
“What of you? I heard you’ve got a lot of guys after you.” He moved away, toward a couch, and it bothered me. Yet he did not stop staring, and it felt lovely to watch him stare.
“So, you’ve listened to the rumors? Do you think they are true?” Came that annoying voice from my throat, so- so girly and prissy. “There is one about you.” The girl walked toward Andrew, I walked- toward him where he sat, sauntered to sit next to him. He was staring, grinning, and blushing again.
“Is there one? Really? What does it say about me?” He asked, but his voice sounded nervous.
My hands moved to touch his shoulder, both hands while my body leaned. “That you fancy me.” She said, I said with the voice of Yvonne mockery. He seemed to not flinch at my touch, though he watched while his eyes went wide and his jaw unhinged.
“We are alone Andy…. Can you tell me if what I’ve heard is true?”
Tonks jerked from her desk, gasping franticly, as she woke up from having passed out over paperwork on her desk. Her face was as pale as a ghost, her eyes watered as they blinked. It was just a dream… oh gods, it was a nightmare! Tonks rushed herself from her cubicle, and ran through the busy office to find the loo. She had to get away, she felt the need to run and escape somewhere more private before she would burst. Unfortunately if any crossed her path, they were pushed aside, trampled past, for her need was great, and theirs could not be bothered with. She felt sick to her stomach, there was a dizzy spell looming, and her mind was crying out the echoes of the voice she had dreamed of. The same voice she had used, for the nightmare was not just a dream- but also a dedicated memory- wanting to relive the moments of time.
Once she found the loo, and barricaded herself within a private stall, she let loose her fears in tears, and her broken heart with sobs. It wouldn’t stop- she knew it wouldn’t. She had kept herself awake as long as she could the night before, because the memory wanted to resurface and she couldn’t allow it. But it had cost her sleep- and boring paperwork had decided to grant her that sleep, and guarantee her memory would be granted passage through her tired mind. Now the irritating, prissy voice of Yvonne, and her pretense actions, were flooding Tonks with the pain of that event. It wouldn’t end, Tonks knew, if last night did not stop it, and sleep would not block the thoughts- she knew she’d be forced to relive and remember. While she cried away the pain, she wondered if she could have Kingsley issue a memory charm upon her- and allow her peace.
Tonks decided to excuse herself from work as quickly as she could, once she wasn’t a teary mess of issues, and left a note with the Head of the Department that she was feeling ill. And she was, extremely ill, just not from health problems. He sent a note back, allowing her to not show up for the next day, to get herself straightened out. She gathered up assignments to be done at home, and then headed in that direction- but to do what, she did not know. What does one do when they’d rather run from the past than escape it? Where does one go, when their mind has other objectives? What would she tell her parents, when they saw her home so early? Well, she figured her bed would be comfortable, if she would be forced to dream, instead of a messy desk filled with nonsense.